I’ve been chasing the prostate orgasm for months, perhaps years now, the way many women chase that elusive first g-spot orgasm. And while some assholes may still question the existence of a g-spot, there’s no doubt that the prostate exists.
The question is rather — can it produce pleasure on its own?
I’d heard tell around the campfire, my friends, about the orgasm without ejaculation, drawn out by prostate stimulation.
I was told it could be long, and multiple, and unlike anything I’d ever experienced — namely, short and single.
After all our bodies are designed so once the semen shoots out, shop gets closed up, the lights get turned off, and our balls say, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”
I think I’d come close, once, with a very special friend who was intent on focusing on me instead of her. She had me feeling all sorts of unique and new sensationsbefore putting her mouth on me to finish the job. That orgasm had an ejaculation, indeed, but the erection didn’t immediately subside.
Looked like someone forgot to turn off the lights. The factory was still producing.
This fascinated me, because that never happens. I’m one of those people that, once I orgasm, the chemicals being produced change my point of view so suddenly that I feel like I never need to have sex again.
Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.
Unlike the g-spot, which can be an elusive to say the least, but fairly common practice amongst the open friends of my social circle, I’d never known anyone who’d actually managed a prostate orgasm.
Not only that, most of them seemed not to care.
But I cared. I cared big time.
Much of my definition of sex (which as many of you know I’ve been trying to alter) has been caught up in that white jizzy final expulsion.
Since I know (thyself) myself, and that I have that “closed for business entirely” sensibility after an orgasm, I tend to put my partner’s pleasure first almost entirely. Once she has had an orgasm, or many, only then do I allow myself to head in that direction.
Because of that, the idea of an orgasm that wouldn’t end things is tremendously appealing.
The problems with chasing such an orgasm are many.
If they exist at all, that is. And Tristan Taormino has assured me they do, as not only has she seen one, but she’s CREATED one.
Of course, if Tristan laid those beautiful hands on me …
But I digress.
All this talk about the possibility that they don’t exist is silly — though, isn’t it. Especially now that I’ve had one, anyway.
Yesterday, on a bed near the rooftop hot tub at Desire Resort and Spa, as I enjoyed demonstrating the nJoy Eleven on a very willing volunteer, I asked if someone might insert my favorite butt plug, handmade by the incredibly talented Boris.
A volunteer came forward, a beautiful woman whom I’d shared a lot of eye contact and some kisses with at our speed dating event. I was assured she was a professional (though I wasn’t certain what that meant at the time) and that I shouldn’t worry. As it was a fairly small plug, I wasn’t worried to begin with. I thanked her for her enthusiasm and continued with the nJoy on my lovely playmate.
After insertion, she didn’t step back, she continued to manipulate, pressing the plug, moving it in and out, circling it.
Before long I was distracted.
Before long after that I could no longer continue with the Eleven. (Which was all right, as my playmate had brought out her LELO Siri and had intoned that she might have had enough of the massive Eleven.) I continued to kneel on top of her as she played with herself, responding compersively to my spasms, which are quite common during anal stimulation.
Before long I could no longer support myself, the distraction was too great, and I asked if she would mind if I flipped over and lie down. She asked if I was doing alright, if it was too much, making contact on my arm and thigh with her hands as she asked. Tremendously comforting.
She became more aggressive, moving her whole body into it, gripping my thigh and my arm at times, putting her hand on my chest to gain leverage, to hold me down, to push the energy right into me.
Somewhere in there, it started.
I’ve always achieved small spasms during prostate play, the kind of spasms you hit as your penis is being played with, those early signposts that you’re going in the right direction. With prostate stim these moments were usually brief but very pleasurable. I found these spasms growing longer and closer together. Becoming full tremors, full body shaking. Bigger and bigger, closer and closer, until the gap between them disappeared.
And here’s where it all gets fuzzy and dreamlike.
Once the gap vanished it was like a wave rushing toward shore that wasn’t breaking, and the shore just moved along at the same speed as the wave. On and on the shakiness rolled, spasming, rocking my body. I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t think.
“Shhh, don’t clench,” she whispered to me, running her fingers up and down my very tense legs. My hands were indeed clenched into tight fists. I opened them and put my head back down.
This continued for the better part of an hour. At least I think so. Time lost meaning and I honestly have no idea. I may have been orgasming for decades there, or only a minute. Though I’ve since been assured it was almost fifty minutes from the beginning of the “clearly orgasmic” portion of my time on that bed to the end. When I threw the flag down and tapped out.
I thanked her muchly, and she assured me that I had indeed progressed through many and varied orgasms — if my face and body were any indication.
As I lie there, basking for just a moment, a curious thing hit me. An aftershock tremor hit, causing me to curl up my knees to my chest. This by itself was surprising enough, but when these tremors continued during the walk back to our room, during the shower before dinner, during getting food from the buffet (to the point where I had to ask a friend to get me a deviled egg because I couldn’t hold the tongs steady), and through on to eating.
Only after sitting at dinner for a half hour or so did they finally begin to subside.
A nearly endless orgasm with the vast capacity for more. Without the standard feelings of “M’kay, I’m done.” A whole new world.
She made me promise to show her how the nJoy Eleven works. I asked her if she’s done any pegging. She admitted she hadn’t had much experience at all with a harness, but was game to experiment.
How thrilling that is.
After all, I’m no longer chasing the possibly mythical prostate orgasm. Now I’m just chasing the very real NEXT prostate orgasm.
A lot has been said about g-spot orgasms and gushing/squirting orgasms for women. A lot by me in fact. Specifically, I’ve talked at length about the impressiveness of the gushing orgasm, something that seems to be directly connected to the g-spot orgasm suddenly being achieved from clitoral stimulation, or even lighter, more subtle stimulation.
I refer to this as “flipping a switch,” because those women I know who have been able to transition from the gushing orgasm only being an occasional thing directly connected to intense g-spot stimulation (usually via a brute force g-spot stimulator like the nJoy Eleven or the Pure Wand) to something they experience on a more and more frequent occurrence without any direct g-spot stimulation at all.
I’ve even heard a few women lament that once the switch was flipped on, there was no going back. (My good friend Shira B once texted me asking how to stop it!)
I don’t know why, but I’d never considered the same might be true of the epic orgasms achieved by prostate stimulation.
I suppose it’s partly because prostate orgasms are so rare in my experience … and in the media … and in general conversation.
They’re also fairly hard to describe. And let’s face it, we orgasming men are lucky enough to have VERY easy to describe orgasms. (Hint: It usually involves ejaculation.)
The lack of easy to find descriptions of prostate orgasms, both from givers and havers, is what partly caused me to still debate whether that was even what I’d actually experienced last year like I thought I had, courtesy of an amazing Blonde. But no, after talking to everybody (perhaps an exaggeration, but I talked to a lot of people) about it, the general consensus is that my tremor-inducing, extended sequence of spasms was indeed the elusive prostate orgasm.
So a funny thing happened since then. I think my switch was flipped.
I’ve had a few minor prostate orgasms since then that resulted directly from prostate stimulation and didn’t include ejaculation. These felt the same as that major orgasm I had last year but were a bit shorter and lighter.
Each resulted in the same kind of uncontrollable tremors that only seem to increase in sensation, each caused me to involuntarily draw my knees up to my chest and each caused aftershocks for a period of time afterward.
Can I describe the feeling? Not really. Ejaculation always leaves me feeling drained, as though Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper’s crazy notions about the depletion of Precious Bodily Fluids was actually true. This is why, in fact, I work especially hard to please my lady before having one as a policy because once that orgasm comes I find it difficult to even focus my eyes occasionally.
But these prostate orgasms … I’ve even found myself laughing throughout the tremors.
So the switch?
Well, the tremors started appearing during “traditional” orgasms that include ejaculation. Often just after an orgasm, I’d be able to ride the wave for a good thirty seconds to a minute, whereas, as I’m sure many of my male-bodied friends out there will agree, most of them are a shoot-sensation-done kind of affair.
Then last Saturday night I experienced something new.
After a particularly vigorous play session with mutual oral stimulation (am I the only one who finds those specific words VERY sexy?) I came — a big traditional orgasm, indeed. Then I lay down next to the amazing woman who brought me there and started to shake.
The tremors that turned out to be the final wave just lapped and lapped, rising and falling, hitting alternately heavily and softly, on and on.
For perhaps fifteen minutes.
Now I’ve wondered about these tremors in the past because occasionally I feel like I jumpstart them mentally. This has led me to wonder if there was a set of mental gymnastics I was doing subconsciously to convince myself I was feeling something.
But then I discarded that thought, because if I can mentally cause an orgasm, does that make it less real?
And if I can mentally achieve the sensation of orgasm without the stimulation, is that somehow fake?
No. They ALL come from my head anyway. They all come from all of our heads, don’t they?
I’m unsure where this leads now. Will these tremor orgasms be a part of all of my orgasms now? They don’t seem to occur when I’m “taking care of myself,” which might suggest an openness to them in paired situations. (I’m often just looking to shoot and go to bed when on my own.)
All I do know is that a switch has been flipped, and I have one very important woman to thank for flipping it the first time, and then those who have flipped it since.
Don’t panic! You aren’t broken or incompetent. Prostate orgasms are quite difficult to have. Some men massage and milk their prostates for years without ever having an orgasm. While it would be nice as an end goal, you have to remember that you’re still doing something that is great for your health, even if you aren’t having orgasms.
If you’re determined to go to the next level though, good for you! It can take some dedication to actually reach the big O, but most men who have experienced prostate orgasm find that after you’ve done it once, it becomes a lot easier. This is because on your subsequent attempts, you know exactly what you did before, so it’s easier to replicate.
Just to make sure you’ve got the process completely down, I’m going to run through the entire experience, start to finish. Along the way I’ll also try to add in notes from across the internet. These might not be necessary for some people, but for others they can make the difference between a simple prostate massage, and a mind blowing orgasm.
The first phase of your prostate massage, is arguably the most important if you wish to achieve orgasm. Going into it with the wrong mindset is pretty much a guarantee that you won’t make it to orgasm.
Some men like to follow a specific ritual or guideline while preparing for their session. This is most often just the order you do things in, but can involve things like long baths, lighting scented candles and maybe even massaging themselves with some relaxing oils before they start. There are a few common things that all men should do before they start a session of prostate play though. A bowel movement is going to be needed to make sure that you don’t start poking at any stored up feces.
Different men will say different things, but the average seems to be a trip to the toilet around an hour before you begin.
The next step all men tend to take is taking a shower. You want to pay extra attention to your anus and make sure it is sparkling clean. Depending on your experience with anal activity, you might also want to begin gently inserting your finger into your anus. Not only will this make sure the immediate area inside is clean, but you can start to get yourself a little turned on with some gentle massaging of the area.
Whether or not you choose to get yourself started off while showering, nearly all men who’ve had a prostate orgasm will agree that being aroused is step number one in reaching orgasm. When you get in the mood, blood flow to the area increases and the prostate begins to swell up. This makes it easier to find, but also much more pleasurable. Almost anyone who has tried a prostate massage while not aroused will probably tell you the same thing: it doesn’t feel too great. So do whatever you need to get the love juices flowing, be it porn, stroking, massage, or anything else.
TOOLS FOR PROSTATE MASSAGE
Fingers are the go to tool for many men wanting to stimulate their prostate. They’re definitely the easiest option, but not without their own drawbacks.
The prostate gland is located around two to four inches inside the anus. For most men this will mean they need to insert their finger around two joints inside to reach their prostate. For some men it can be further up, so more of a finger is needed. In others, their fingers just aren’t long enough, so they stand no chance of stimulating their prostate using fingers alone.
To know whether or not you can reach far enough, a good technique is to start by putting your finger just inside your anus. Place a small amount of pressure on the front wall of the anus (the side towards your belly). If you don’t feel anything, then insert the finger a little further, and try a small amount of pressure again.
You keep moving up and pressuring until you find your prostate. You should be able to tell when you do, as you should feel a sudden urge to urinate. This is totally normal and fine, and you aren’t at risk of wetting yourself. If you are able to find it and reach it effectively, great! You’ve made it past the first hurdle. If not, head on down to the prostate massagers section and see what other options are available to you.
The second hurdle when using the fingers to massage your own prostate is that they’re fingers. Stick with me here. When you use any part of your body for an extended period of time, what is the feeling you end up with? Tiredness. The same is true for your fingers.
In some men it can take several hours to reach a successful prostate orgasm, so using your fingers for that length of time can be quite difficult. Even if you can maintain some level of controlled movement for an extended period without hand or arm aches/cramps, you are also contending with a rather limited range of movement. Keeping your finger in, and staying comfortable gives you a small amount of space to work with, and depending on the angle you need to use to reach your prostate, it might not be feasible to effectively massage the area.
This whole to-do with finding your prostate can be a bit of a turn off sometimes, so it may be worth spending some time on a seperate day exploring the area and identifying the right places to touch. On another day, armed with your new knowledge get yourself prepared and aroused and start your session proper.
Again this is individual to each man, and if you find something that works for you then you’re all set to get started properly. If not, then it’s time to try some extra tools.
Where something cannot be done, man will find a way. This is never truer than with prostate massage. Even in an area that has been surrounded by taboo and controversy over the years, those that were keen to explore have been able to find their own methods for stimulating their prostate where their fingers have failed. These methods take the form of prostate massagers.
Essentially a butt plug, but with a curve or angle, prostate massagers are specifically designed tools aimed at aiding you hit the orgasm you want. They come in all kinds of shapes and styles, so you might need to spend a bit of time finding exactly what you’re looking for, but when you do they can make the entire process a whole lot easier.
If you choose to use a prostate massager over your fingers, you have a few added bonuses. The first is just a whole range of extra movement. You can hold onto the plug by the base, and angle it any way you want.
You have almost complete control over the movements and pressure you put on the prostate and it’s so much easier. Any time you feel your arms beginning to tire or ache, you can take a break and let them rest. But even then you can continue stimulating your prostate with some simple Kegel exercises. The clenching and releasing actions of an effective Kegel will move the plug up and down your prostate in a stroking action.
Your other bonus is vibration! A completely different feeling that no matter how dexterous you are, you won’t be able to truly recreate with your fingers. A vibrating plug can really change what you experience while prostate massaging, allowing you to fully let go and relax into the feelings without needing to touch anything. If you’ve tried various things but found yourself unable to truly relax and focus on your feeling, a vibrating prostate massager can be the way to go.
I know we’ve talked a lot about getting started with a prostate massage session, and not talked much about actually reaching orgasm, but we’re nearly done with prep work. I promise!
The final area of prep to cover is lube. I maybe shouldn’t have left it till last, as it is undoubtedly the most important part. Your butt doesn’t produce any lubrication! Without lube, any attempts at prostate massage will feel like rubbing your insides along sandpaper. To put it another way, unpleasant and painful.
Both silicone-based lubes and oil-based lubes are much longer lasting than water-based lubes. While the latter is totally acceptable for anal play, you will have to reapply it more often during a longer session.
Silicone-based lubes should be approached with caution, as using them on a silicone toy can break down the surface material, and contaminate your anus and rectum.
Oil-based lubes are the clear favorite here, and there are many kinds to choose from. I’ll leave it up to you, but be sure to do your research and know exactly what the lube you’re going to use contains. You don’t want any nasty surprises.
Due to the length of time you may need to be inside yourself, having a high quality lube is key. The longer it lasts the better! While you can reapply it as you go along, if you end up getting yourself close to orgasm and find that you need to stop and apply more lube, it’s really going to kill the mood.
You’re also going to need lots of it. Whatever you think is enough, double it. You need to make sure it gets everywhere, so really baste yourself in it. The most important part is to get it up and inside your anus. This part is where a lot of people will fall short with anal play. Just because it’s on a finger, prostate massager, dildo, butt plug, or anything else, it doesn’t mean it’s automatically going to make it into your butt.
If you find yourself having trouble with this, look into picking up a lube syringe. These are usually made to medical grade standards, and inserting the tip into your anus allows you to directly feed the lube into it.
STAGE ONE: FINDING YOUR GROOVE
So if you’re nice and turned on, have everything lubed up, and chosen your method of massage, then it’s time to begin.
If it’s your very first time, you’re going to want to take it very slowly. While this is always good advice for any anal activity, it is especially true if you aren’t used to it. The sphincter muscles of the anus are extremely elastic, but if you’ve never used them for anything other than toilet trips they aren’t going to be used to opening up at other times. The more you perform prostate massage the more these muscles will adapt and eventually you should be able to slide things in with very little feeling of discomfort.
Once you’ve got your implement in, stop and have a little rest.
Remember you need to try and stay as relaxed and aroused as possible, and constantly thinking things like “my butt feels weird” isn’t going to help. You need to adjust, and get used to the feelings. It might not happen in your first session, but before long you’ll be totally used to it.
If you’re at the point where something is in your butt, and it doesn’t feel totally alien and weird. AND you’ve managed to keep your arousal and relaxation high, then you’re probably in the best state possible for a prostate orgasm. Now it’s the simple matter of stimulating it.
There are literally tons of different motions and movements you can try. Everyone likes different things, so rather than trying to tell you which one is “best” or “most effective”, I’ll try to just list all of the ones I’ve come across and you can try them until you find your favorites.
Come-hither motion: One of the most popular techniques, you gently roll your finger up and back in the direction of your belly. It’s exactly the same motion you’d use to tell someone to walk towards you, and is often recommended for a woman’s vagina for the exact same reasons: It gently stimulates the entire length of the area.
Pushing a doorbell: This one is often recommended for entering your anus too. Rather than directly prodding or poking at anything, simply rest the pad part of your finger on the prostate, just like you would a doorbell. Then gently start to “ring the bell”. You can experiment with different amounts of pressure, and holding it down for different amounts of time until you find something that you like.
Circling the yard: This one can be more difficult depending on your angle and how dexterous you are. Basically you want to lay the pad of your finger on the prostate, just like the doorbell, but this time rather than pushing, you run your finger all the way around the edge of the gland. Depending on the size of yours this may be more or less effective as you’ll have more or less surface to cover. You can experiment with speeds, and try different amounts of pressure while you rub.
Simulated Vibrations: If you can get the hang of the movements without being too rough, it’s totally feasible that you can make your finger feel a bit like it’s a vibrator. While this can feel great and give you lots of stimulation, it’s going to be difficult to keep it going for a long period of time. It can be best to save this until you feel yourself getting close to an orgasm.
Experiment! There’s probably loads more things that I haven’t mentioned and men will be thinking “why didn’t he say to do this”. Like much of this process, it’s a totally personal thing, so don’t be afraid to move your finger around and see if you can find something new that you enjoy.
Be Gentle: No matter which techniques you choose to use while your finger is inside you, you need to be careful. The prostate and the anus are both incredibly sensitive areas, and going a bit too rough on them can leave you a bit sore for a few days. Roughing it up too often could cause some real damage to either, which isn’t going to help our arousal and enjoyment.
WITH A PROSTATE MASSAGER
The options here are a little different, so I’m not going to make a list giving you techniques. Instead I’ll just give you some ideas of what kinds of things you can do with a massager.
Pressure is probably the easiest thing to vary with a massager when compared to fingers. Being able to move the unit around by pulling and pushing on the base can give you a much greater level of control. When you find a level of pressure you like or want to stick with for a while, you can try and position the massager to stay there, so it isn’t a constant effort like it is with your fingers.
Depth: Prostate massagers come in many different sizes. Some of the longer ones are able to go deeper into your butt while still hitting the spots of the prostate you need it to. Others will literally just reach the prostate and go no further. Depending on how comfortable you are, and the enjoyment you get from anal play, you can try out different kinds of massagers until you find the one that’s ideal for you.
External massage: Many prostate massagers will come with an extra arm that sits outside of the body. This isn’t just to keep it from getting eaten by your butt, but it’s meant to sit on, and stimulate the perineum. This fleshy area behind your scrotum is directly underneath your prostate, and is what people stimulate when they perform external prostate massage. By using a massager with one of these arms, you’re getting the best of both worlds.
Cock Ring: There are also varieties of prostate massager that come with a cock ring built onto the outside. These can be great if you struggle to maintain arousal during a prostate massage. Some men have the unfortunate problem that the second something enters their anus their erections will instantly drop. Maintaining a solid erection throughout can do wonders for keeping yourself aroused.
Vibrations, as we discussed a little earlier, can make the entire process of prostate massage that little bit easier. If you’re after something simple and easy to use, this is definitely the way to go.
If you’re thinking about going with a prostate massager over your finger, we’ve done an in depth look at both the designs and use of them which you should definitely take a look at.
STAGE TWO: PRE-CUM/MILKING
At some point during the process, you might notice some white fluid leaking out of your penis. You shouldn’t be alarmed, as this is part of the prostate massage and is totally normal. What you’ll be noticing is basically ejaculation, only without the sperm. The fluid is mostly made up of the liquids that are stored and produced in the prostate, and should be roughly milk-like in color and consistency, hence the term prostate milking.
You can choose to milk the prostate for as long as you like, and by varying speed or pressure you can spend a lot of time to make sure that everything is cleared out properly. If your main goal is prostate orgasm though, this won’t be your primary concern. It is though, a sign that you are on the right track.
Sometimes you might spend quite a long time massaging, but have no pre-cum leakage at all. It’s likely in this case that you just aren’t hitting quite the right spot. Everyone’s body is different, and just because you’ve read it should be done one way it doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. If this happens to you it might be worth trying something different.
TECHNIQUES THAT MIGHT HELP
There are a great range of positions you can use if your first choice isn’t working for you. The most popular and simple one will be simply lying on your back, reaching down past your stomach. If this isn’t doing it for you, or if you just fancy different, here are some options:
Face Down: Not the most adventurous change of position, but still an effective one. Flipping over to your stomach can help you have a bit more access to your anus, and you can rest your arms on your back while you massage so they don’t get as tired. One downside to this one is that your hand will be the opposite way up, so things like the come-hither motion will no longer work. If you’re dexterous though, you should still be able to effectively reach your prostate.
Both Legs Up: Still remaining on your back, but the simple act of pulling both of your legs up to your chest (or further if you’re flexible), can give you much greater access to your anus. The position also naturally opens up your butt cheeks too, making it a little easier to access.
Laying on one side, outer leg to chest: This one’s a little harder to explain, but it’s kind of a fetal position on the outer half of your body. You use your arm to reach around over the bent leg to reach the anus. This can be quite a comfortable position, but the angles can make some kinds of stimulation a little difficult.
Doggy Style: Just like the sexual position, doggy style can be a useful one for reaching the prostate. This position gives you some flexibility, as your arm can reach between your legs or over your butt to reach the anus. It can help to use some pillows to take some of the weight off your legs.
Experiment! There’s no wrong answers here, so if you can find a position that works for you, then go with it!
SWITCH TO EXTERNAL
Most people are going to recommend using internal massage techniques when you are trying to achieve a prostate orgasm. If you aren’t yet comfortable with something entering your anus though, you aren’t completely out of luck. While externally stimulated prostate orgasms aren’t as common, some men have perfected the art, and can summon some truly magical feelings without even touching their insides.
Even if you’re perfectly happy entering your anus, external massage can have it’s role in your prostate massage sessions. It can be a useful warm-up during your initial phases of arousal and prep. Or you can use it as a little halfway break if your arm or anal muscles start to feel a little tired. So don’t be afraid to mix it up, and try a little external massage on your journey to prostate heaven!
USE THE PENIS TOO
All men will know what penis orgasms are like. Pretty much any penile touches while slightly aroused will really help get you going. As we discussed earlier, maintaining your arousal during your session can be a big help due to the increased prostate size, so making sure you’re nice and hard can make a big difference. Another option is to wear a cock ring. For most men this will be enough to maintain a constant erection, with the bonus that you don’t need to touch your penis at all during your massage.
If you feel the arousal leaving, and the enjoyment dropping during your massages, a short play with your penis can help top you back up and keep you going. You should be careful though, as for most men reaching a regular penile orgasm will put a swift end to any enjoyment you were receiving from your prostate massages.
GETTING SOMEONE TO HELP
Your quest for prostate orgasms doesn’t have to be a solo one! While most men will prefer their first few attempts at prostate massage to be done privately, allowing someone else to get involved can enhance the experience a huge amount. Not only will it be easier for them to reach your prostate without you having to fold yourself up, letting someone else take care of the actual massage means that you can relax fully. Being able to focus entirely on the feelings you have rather than the physical act of performing massage, can make it easier to reach orgasm.
TALK TO THE DOC
While most men are able to find their own prostates, for some it might feel like you just aren’t hitting the right spot. This is probably more relevant if you’ve tried massaging a lot, but still not had any pre-cum during the stimulation. It is possible that your prostate is just in a slightly different position to normal, so a conversation with a doctor (and maybe a short rectal exam) will help to clear things up. An added bonus is that if they do need to touch your prostate themselves, you’ll know exactly what it’ll feel like for your next attempt.
STAGE THREE: REACHING CLIMAX
Now let’s assume that everything is going great. You’re able to find your prostate and enjoy stimulating it. You’ve got pre-cum dripping out of your penis. But you just can’t reach orgasm. What’s a man to do?
Unfortunately, there really isn’t an easy answer for this. Some men will reach the goal quickly, others might take many attempts. The main thing is to focus on enjoying the process. Kind of annoying really, isn’t it?
Luckily for you I’ve scoured the internet, and I’ve found a couple of last tidbits of wisdom that just might help.
Edging is the act of masturbating with the penis until you are just on the brink of orgasm, and then stopping. Sometimes doing this just before you begin prostate massage, and repeating any time you lose arousal can help bring you closer to prostate orgasm.
An intense need to urinate is often a feeling that will cause some men to slow down or stop their massage. For most though, pushing through this feeling and continuing with the massage is the final barrier. So next time you feel like you’re going to wet yourself, remember that you definitely wont, and keep pushing yourself that little bit further.
Utilizing your pelvic floor muscles at the right time can make the difference for some. The pelvic floor works with the prostate during orgasm, causing the spasming you feel in your penis and pelvis. If you can time some pelvic floor clenches as you near the peaks of your massage, it could tip you over the edge.
Now that really was a bit of an epic. I’ve spent a lot of time reading about many men’s different experience and tried to give you as many tools as possible for your journey to prostate orgasm. The rest is up to you! Get yourself into the habit of regularly massaging your prostate, find the things you like, and hopefully before long you’ll be feeling the best orgasms of your life!
Butt orgasms! They’re not just for prostate exam patients anymore.
Regardless of your sexuality, there’s no denying that putting something in your butt and strategically rubbing it around can feel kind of fucking great, especially since the anus is packed with more pleasurable nerve endings than almost anywhere else in your body. Straight, gay, or something in between, all men are united by their singular and explosive capability to have a prostate orgasm, yet the technique is surprisingly underutilized due to its stigma and mistaken association with homosexuality.
However, prostate stimulation (or prostate milking, or a “P-Spot orgasm” as it’s sometimes called) is becoming an increasingly popular way for men to get off as guys everywhere are starting to feel more comfortable with their own sexuality and erotic needs. More and more, people are realizing that pleasure is pleasure, and if the road to it goes through your butt … so be it.
For the uninitiated, the prostate is a small gland directly under the bladder that presses against the frontal wall of the anus. Typically, it’s about two inches up there, but can be a little further up depending on the individual. It’s about the size of a walnut, and feels a little firmer and rougher than the rest of the anal cavity.
You can stimulate it much in the same way you would a female G-Spot, although I’d always recommend doubling down on the lube anytime there’s an anus involved.
Fingers, toys, penises or any other safe object your butt can accommodate can all be inserted to stimulate the prostate, but for beginners, I’d recommend exploring your own P-Spot with a toy first to familiarize yourself with the feeling of butt stuff. Then, once you’re comfortable with the sensation, let a partner stimulate it with their fingers, and move on from there.
But why, you ask, would you want to move into new territory when your penis already does a perfectly fine job of orgasming for you on its own?
Because, silly man, the penis is limiting. Why have one type of orgasm for the rest of your life, enduring the same feeling over and over, when you could expand your capacity for pleasure into new, uncharted realms? Women are kind of killing it that they can at least three different types of orgasm (although some experts say it’s up to 11), so why rob yourself of the ability to do the same? You too deserve diversity of pleasure, and prostate stimulation is a powerful jumping off point into the many ways you can come.
But, enough convincing from my end. Instead, I’ve searched the hollows of Reddit and the rest of the internet to find some first-hand male accounts of what having a prostate orgasm is actually like. Some of these men’s accounts are long and instructional; others are concise. Yet all of them make a pretty convincing case for branching out from your dick.
And from the looks of things, I really wish I had a prostate …
“This morning I had my first prostate orgasm and holy shitballs. Only took say 10 minutes. I used the handle end of a toothbrush, as I don’t have any sex shops handy, and it was completely effective. I will be buying a toy in the very near future. Toothbrush has been disposed of.
Now, how did it feel? It was definitely NOT genital as has been mentioned above, it came from within my pelvis, deep to my body, and when it hit it was overwhelming and completely uncontrollable.
Within 30 seconds, I started to feel like I couldn’t hold my bladder anymore, but I knew from a little research this morning that feeling was false, and was really my prostate. I kept up with the stimulation, was not terribly vigorous, and within another 30 seconds, my body completely took over and I felt this warm rush of fluid evacuating itself from my pelvis through my urethra. I have a momentary freakout thinking I’ve urinated on my bed, I look down, and see the most humongous load I’ve ever seen, no urine in sight.
I convulsed there for a good minute, feeling waves throughout my body, and also feeling supreme satisfaction to have finally successfully had a prostate orgasm. There is definitely a spaghetti legs feeling still, and a lovely afterglow.
Not the easiest thing in the world to achieve but with practice I’d say it’s totally f’n worth it.”
“I find it feels A LOT better than a normal orgasm. Still relatively similar in the way it feel but just more intense. And longer lasting. I also find I generally cum more as well…”
“For me, I find that I am simply overcome by the sheer power of the orgasm. It’s not a whole lot better, per se, but it is a lot stronger. As in after it happens I’m stuck there out of breath and trembling for at least a few minutes. As if all of my energy had just been sucked out of my body and concentrated into a ridiculous orgasm. P-spot is the way to go. It doesn’t replace a regular orgasm, but it makes a really nice treat every once in a while. Especially if you can achieve it through pegging. Pegging is the best ever. Hands down.”
“Like a a unicorn exploding in your urethra.”
“It feels like a new type of pressure … like that post orgasmic feeling but deep in your body/pelvis. And once orgasm does hit … it feels like a stream of cum and a continuous orgasm instead of a pulsing one. Get your SO to give you head while doing it … Best feeling ever …”
“To be honest, its not this magical difference between normal masturbation, its just a little different, but also definitely better. The sensation of having something up your anus is simultaneously weird and exhilarating.
And when you start slowly thrusting it against your prostate…you know that tingly feeling you get when you have a really hard erection and haven’t touched your penis for a week or so (I’m not referring to one of those chubs that you pull out cause you’re like fuck it I’m not going anywhere today and I hate my life, but those really hard erections that are begging to be stroked) and you haven’t even touched your penis yet but you know right when you place your hands on it that first stroke is gonna feel amazing? It’s kinda like that, except it transcends the shaft and spills throughout your balls and pelvic region and inner thighs, almost paralyzing you from the waist down.
And when you’re really going at it, it feels like those few seconds before you’re about to ejaculate except you usually don’t ejaculate and it just doesn’t stop.”
“Personally for me, and I don’t know if this is the case with anyone else, but for some reason when I focus on prostate massaging, I really end up killing my boner and its tough to keep it up, so that’s maybe the only annoying thing about it. But it feels so good that I don’t really mind.”
“It’s almost like I go catatonic. I don’t really realize what’s going on around me. It just feels REALLY awesome and I’m completely focused on the incredible sensations.”
“At the very beginning, after the fingers are inserted and the massage starts, I feel a “buzz” that envelopes the entire mid section of my body. From my thighs to the upper abdomen. I can’t say it feels awesome at this point, and if I’m not completely relaxed, it’s a bit uncomfortable. However, a few deep breaths will make the discomfort pass.
The nudging and bumping of the finger against my prostate feels divine. I can actually feel sensations in my penis, although it’s not being touched. Very odd, but extremely erotic. If a vibrating stimulator is being used, the sensations are even more intense. Click here to learn more about these awesome devices.
For me, when it’s done right, I have an urge to pee, but I never do. I have literally no control when I cum…it just happens. I’ve found it’s best to just enjoy, relax and let it happen.”
I made that sign and mounted it to the wall. It takes up a lot of space that could be filled with other products, but the sign is important. It is meant to draw the attention of guys who are intrigued by experiencing what the sign promises, the most intense prostate orgasm!
As men, no one tells us (honestly) that a toy or a lube or ANYTHING is going to improve our orgasm. To be honest, it is usually pretty good regardless … I have never heard loveworks.com my friends tell me they just had an orgasm, “but it wasn’t good”. In the words of one of my friends, “even a bad blowjob is still good!” But do you hear men talk about having an intense male orgasm? No. We came, and it was great, thank you. They had not experienced a prostate orgasm yet!
In the stores, the girls test all the products. Since I give them a very large discount on any of the sex toys they want, they tend to purchase multiple sex toys and try them out. The fun thing about a store like LoveWorks is that everyone has no shame coming back to work the next day and talking about how good or bad the toy worked while their boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/onenightstand was doing the nasty with them. But none ever come back and say they had most intense orgasm ever; or more specifically, that their boyfriend ever had most intense orgasm ever.
And they get excited when new sex toys arrive, sometimes saying things that come out without a “filter” — things that perhaps, as the boss, I shouldn’t hear. “I can’t wait to put that toy in my …” I shake my head and laugh, because of the size of the huge dildo that had just been unpackaged.
But when it comes to new mens toys, they are at a disadvantage, as they are not equipped. Well, to the best of my knowledge, none of them are “equipped”!
And going back to the beginning of this post, I said that most mens toys are nothing to get excited about. When we receive a new pocket pussy, molded after the latest hot porn star, no one is running to my office asking me to review it, because there is no need. They are mostly the same; the material may have changed, or it is designed after a different porn star. But in the end, the male pocket pussys are pretty much the same.
My friends at Doc Johnson and Sweedish Erotica might not like that I call the toys all the same, but they are. The boxes tell us that this one is a mold of Tera Patrick and this one is Shania Twain. It is still the same design and function. Yes, I’m kidding about selling a Shania toy.
Aneros SGXWhen Aneros prostate stimulation toys first appeared on the market, I was helping unpack merchandise and saw the prostate toy immediately. All of us had seen ads and articles in our trade publication about the Aneros and everything we read was positive. All the sale literature hyped was about the prostate orgasm being like none other.
My staff immediately pressed me into service and told me that SOMEONE had to test the Aneros and I was the only male in the building. I wasn’t excited about it because to me, it was nothing more than another $60 butt plug.
I believe the first one I tried was the SGX; at the time, the skinnier Eupho wasn’t on the market. Other than an occasional finger in my butt, I wasn’t much of an anal guy. I have nothing against it, but Hemorrhoids have always prevented me from experimenting with much anal play. TMI? Oh well, too bad, this is a review of a prostate stimulatopm sex toy that goes in your butt, what can I say?? 🙂
That night, after telling my wife about the experiment, I went into the bathroom to insert the prostate toy. For whatever reason, I wasn’t keen on letting my wife wach me insert it, as I was worried about grimacing in pain and her saying “See, that is why I don’t let you fuck me in the ass”.
So I used a thick lube, pushed the lube into my butt with my finger and tried to relax. [NOTE TO SELF: This process would have been better if I had an anal shooter]. Lubed the prostate stimulation toy and began the journey to darker territory. It didn’t feel good half way in, which is the widest part of the anal invader. But right after the largest part was inserted, my butt sucked the toy in to the base like a vacuum going after a feather boa.
I squeezed my pee muscle (or “poop” muscle if you prefer) and could feel the prostate toy move up and down slightly and it felt good, but not as good as the description. According to the ad copy, I should begin seeing my penis “drool” with pre-cum, as the toy pressed against the prostate and began providing prostate stimulation. (This NEVER EVER happened with me, but other customers told me that pre-cum flowed out after inserting the toy!)
What was really surprising me was that I was losing my erection with the prostate toy inserted. I assume that my system was unhappy that there was an attempt to hack my back door and was shutting down all services, takes us to defcon 1, and preventing any further unauthorized entries.
Of course, being with my wife, it didn’t really matter. We could sit around and laugh about this for a while, and fool around doing other things until my city manager was ready to fill the fire hose.
After a few minutes, my erection was back and I was ready to begin having intercourse. In the general stroking in and out, there was nothing unusual, except loveworks.com that my mind knew something was up my butt. But when I would squeeze my pee muscle repeatedly while stroking, I began to notice a different feeling. It was rubbing something that felt good, which must be caused by the prostate stimulation. I couldn’t wait to experience a prostate orgasm at this point.
When I felt this prostate orgasm beginning to happen, I also felt the muscles of my penis, pee muscle and anus all begin to flex, adding to new feelings. I knew that these feelings were different and were due to the prostate stimulation working in my butt.
At that moment when God said “Let there be happiness”, I let out a quiet shreak as the prostate orgasm began, and my anus repeatedly squeezed open and closed, intensifying and extending the length of the orgasm. It was most intense orgasm I have experienced! Did I say it was intense? YES, it was the most intense orgasm that I could experience — and if I could have done it over and over, I would have never left the room.
I could almost picture Star Trek and Scotty yelling, “I’m sorry Captain, but there is something stuck in the door and its going to blow!”
After this most intense prostate orgasm, I began to laugh. The Aneros prostate toy had proved me wrong — there were toys that could improve the male orgasm by using a toy for prostate stimulation.
Removing the toy isn’t as much fun however. My anus acted as though it didn’t want to let go of the toy that had just shook its world! I gently tugged to remove the toy as it gently pulled back and said “NO”. When the half-way mark of the prostate toy was out, my ass released and threw the toy at me, “Here!”.
Most prostate toys are white, REALLY white. And that makes it very clear that you need to clean the toy really well with soap and water. And once clean, the material does NOT maintain any odor.
[If you are easily grossed out, skip this paragraph]. After washing the toy in soap and water, and then drying, I held the toy to my nose and sniffed. I could not tell that this toy had just been in no man’s land.
I experimented with that toy many times, to the point where I wasn’t enjoying sex if the prostate toy wasn’t in my ass! That is how you know you are hoooked and it really was the most intense orgasm!
That is when I decided to experiment with the larger Aneros, the Progasm prostate toy. It hurt like HELL to put this toy in my butt and to take it out, but it also provided a most intense orgasm, except that it was multipled many, many times when having it inside. And my butt was sore for a day. But to feel an orgasm that strong was worth the soreness.
After a while, I had to wean myself off butt toys because sex without a toy up my butt was boring, and the cum was … “ho-hum”. That is so depressing to put on paper. But it is true.
That tells you how powerful it can be. I was having BODY SHAKING prostate orgasm s; I was weak in the knees after blowing my load; I was experiencing the most intense orgasm that my wife gets, AND MIKEY LIKEY!
Now, to keep myself from getting “used” to them, I only use my Aneros a few times per month. That l
Aneros Progasmoveworks.com keeps me from being bored with regular orgasms, but gives me that orgasmic high that prostate stimulation can deliver.
While I was in the testing stage, I tried some of the other products we were receiving such as the Rudemen series of anal toys, as well as a few Aneros competitors that didn’t last. At one time, a UK company shipped me a few toys to try, but the design and feeling wasn’t the same and we chose not to carry their prostate toy line.
The biggest difficulty we have in selling the Aneros is the fear of putting a sex toy into the ass. “You ain’t putting no toy in MY ass”. I wish I had a $1 for every time that a man said that in the store.
But in those relationships where they agreed to experiment and use the toy, the wives returned to tell the employees how Mr Macho turned into Mr Whimperer after having the most intense orgasm of his life.
Uh-huh. You can still be a man and have a toy up your ass. 🙂
Lets talk technical stuff: Every person is different; specifically the distance between the anal opening and the prostate; the angle or depth of the prostate in the anal canal, and more factors. Because of this, the prostate stimulation might be less than or greater than what I experienced.
Aneros toys worked for me but not as good as some of my friends. Some of the other brands might work better for other customers. That is the nature of the game — you must experiment if you want to know. Buy the toy and take the risk — it works for you or it doesn’t. And if it works, you will be appreciative and non-judgemental of the price!
Also, I tried vibrating toys as well, but for prostate toys, I always returned to the non-vibe toys. The feeling seemed better without the vibrations. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try new vibrating toys when they come with a kick-starter.
Prostate orgasms are the BEST. I have only recently discovered this incredible sensation (you can read all about it in my Nexus Revo 2 review) and it’s safe to say I am disappointed with myself for not unlocking and discovering that part of myself before this stage in my life.
Some men think you shouldn’t go near your own ass, that it somehow makes you ‘gay’ and I was verging on being one of those men, until I bit the bullet and tried it out and it’s safe to say I will never look back and I will forever encourage every man on earth to explore a little more with their own body.
Apply some water-based lube and insert the Aneros Helix prostate massager into your rectum and gently rock back and forth for mind-blowing (hands-free) prostate orgasms. This sex toy really surprised me and why it is mentioned on this list, I doubted it would have much effect but it knows exactly where to press to send you over the edge.
WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID –
“Just kind of pops right in and feels fantastic. I would find it hard to believe that anybody could find this uncomfortable when inside them. It is barely noticeable until the pleasure starts to kick in.”
L-shaped for your peace of mind when it comes to safety, the arm even takes vibrations and sends them across your perineum for enhanced pleasure. Slip this prostate massager in with the help of some water-based lube and enjoy the thrilling 8 modes and 12 intensity levels that are easily operated via the remote control and take foreplay and masturbation to the next level.
OPINIONS FROM OTHER USERS –
“with lots of great patterns and strengths, delivered mind-blowing pleasure! No batteries are a plus, and it’s easy to clean, and arrives with a nice discreet storage case! A winner that every guy needs to try!”
This a premium prostate sex toy. Made from the finest silicone so it elegantly slips into position and boasts its constant speed and 5 patterns. Easy to use with button control and even a discreet flare at the base to prohibit unwanted ‘ride’. USB rechargeable (which I love in a sex toy) and wonderful inside and out.
WHAT OTHER BUYERS HAVE MENTIONED –
“I continued to writhe and quiver frantically till I could take no more and had to bring myself to climax. This climax was wonderful and made me want to go again for another round, just so I could experience the same pleasure I just had.”
The nexus Revo 2 changed my life and I’m not just saying that to sound dramatic. It’s discreet in design but not so discreet in the way it makes you buck around and scream out in ecstasy, it has 2 rotation speeds and 3 powerful modes that are easily controlled via the push button control. I made a whole review on this male prostate sex toy that I really suggest reading, I go into detail on my experience and give you insight and more detail on the product – The Ultimate Male Sex Toy
MORE OPINIONS FROM USERS –
“Once inserted the fun really begins. I managed a hands-free orgasm, which is insane. Do you know what the best thing about a hands-free orgasm is? You’re ready to go again, immediately after! They also last longer”
This prostate sex toy looks and performs like it has just walked out of the future, not only is it perfectly designed to fit with ease and caress your P-spot, it also has 6 pre-programmed vibration modes for you to enjoy thanks to the help of the beautiful and luxurious remote control.
Once you’re ready you can also switch on the ‘SenseMotion’ setting and feel as it tailors vibrations to your movement, as if it was made for you and your body. It’s an incredible little sex toy and if can spare the cash, new or a veteran to prostate orgasms, this sex toy is wonderful.
WHAT MORE BUYERS HAVE MENTIONED –
“I had to try out and press everything and within minutes I was orgasmng and this went on and on, wave after wave. It literally left me in a state of euphoria both during use and well into the rest of my day.”
Sadly, due to its popularity, this prostate massager is out of stock but I have redirected you to a prostate massager that’s just as awesome and even has 7 functions instead of 5.
Remember to apply plenty of water-based lube when using any of these prostate sex toys.
This prostate massager is made from soft silicone and is perfectly crafted and tapered for your maximum pleasure, it has 5 jaw-dropping vibrations for you to choose from and the bullet vibrator can even be removed for more precise stimulation.
As you can see by the photo, the design is perfectly made for it to hit every spot and leave you breathless and gagging for more.
OPINIONS FROM OTHERS –
“We have used it several times and my wife even tried it on me. I am a manly man as they say and really was not sure, but it is only small and the sensations and the orgasms for both of us were incredible. It does have a lot of different settings so you can mix it up and it is silent. The texture is a very natural and soft feeling”
We have almost finished my list of the best prostate sex toys to help you achieve a prostate orgasm but before this list ends I have this beautiful massager to show you. The vibrations inside this incredible sex toy tingle andpush up against your P-spot, make their way down the shaft of the sex toy and all the way into the base where the anchored base will tease your perineum. It’s also waterproof so you can maximize your pleasure experience even in the shower or bath.
MENTIONED IN A REVIEW BY ANOTHER BUYER –
“The vibrations are strong, the rhythms are intense and it certainly touches all the right spots, ensuring an endless wave of good orgasms. It’s the toy which convinced me 100% to try others and made me realise what I’d been missing out on.”
Finally, this list draws to a close and ends on a high with this Tracey Cox (renowned Sexpert) vibrating butt plug. It’s small, discreet and unisex so you can switch between the both of you whenever you both feel like some incredible vibrations and even a prostate orgasm.
Have your partner use the controller and enjoy thrilling foreplay and sexwith the help of the curved butt plug that hits all of the right spots.
OTHER THINGS MENTIONED –
” I was blown away. If you’re looking for an intense and worthy orgasm, this is the product for you. I cannot wait to use it more and in different ways. “
There’s a reason the prostate is known as the P-Spot. It’s the male equivalent of the famous G-Spot and paying a little attention to it will result in the strongest orgasms of your life. Seriously, prostate play makes guys explode. We highly recommend trying it out!
We know, the idea of sticking a finger or butt plug into your back door isn’t always the most appealing. Most guys fall prey to cultural stereotypes and a general uneasiness when it comes to anal play. We get it. We’re here to change that. We’re here to tell you to broaden your horizons and embrace the pleasure that comes from your prostate.
Remember that old saying that ships are safe in harbor, but that’s not what they were made for? Well, your orgasms are fine without prostate play, but that isn’t what YOU were made for. You’re a sexual being, we all are. Humans were made to experience pleasure – why not embrace that simple fact?
BEFORE YOU START
The very first thing we need to stress is that NOTHING about prostate play makes you gay. It doesn’t make you less of a man. It doesn’t make your feminine. It doesn’t do anything but make you a forward-thinking person who’s in touch with your sexuality, and that’s pretty rad if you ask us.
The next thing we need to say is that the idea that milking your prostate makes you gay is a holdover from another time. It’s closed-minded and, in all honestly, really dumb. Unfortunately, it’s a common belief.
This attitude needs to change. We need to update these beliefs to something more modern – like the fact that as many as 57% of men from one particular study had engaged in some form of anal play. We’d like that number to reach 100% because trust us, guys, it’s awesome. Still, we couldn’t be prouder to play a part in this blooming cultural open-mindedness.
Want to join us? Then share your prostate stories with [email address] and we might feature them, anonymously of course, in the future!
One more piece of info and then we’re onto the sexy stuff, we promise. Regularly milking your prostate has some substantial health benefits. These include: helping to prevent benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) by eliminating the buildup of prostatic fluid, improving blood flow to your prostate, and even potentially reducing the risk of developing prostate cancer.
Okay, now it’s time to move onto the fun stuff – practical tips for milking your prostate.
Make sure to use lube when doing anything with you or your partner’s ass. That’s prostate play 101. The type of lube you use is up to you, though we’re big fans of anal lube and silicone-based lubes. Just remember that if you use silicone lube, you can’t use silicone toys too!
TRIM YOUR NAILS
This one’s a no-brainer, right? Wrong. You’d be surprised how many guys don’t think much about their fingernails before getting down with their prostate. We’ll spare you the cringey and painful descriptions, but just know that you ONLY want something smooth going in.
DROP THE POOP WORRIES
Whenever the topic of milking your prostate comes up, it’s inevitable that most people think about feces. While this certainly is something to consider, it’s not as likely as you think. Now that doesn’t mean you don’t want to make sure you’re spick and span down there. Take a shower, wash everything up, try out an enema for maximum cleanliness, and go into your experience feeling comfortable.
WARM UP & GO SLOW
Don’t go for the gold all at once! Work up to using your finger, your anal beads, or a toy with a flared base on your ass. Start with your perineum and sphincter and work your way up to penetration and massage.
Your perineum is the area between your scrotum and butt. By massaging and pushing on it, you begin to stimulate the tissues around your prostate. Try it out. Not only does this give you a taste of what you’re in for once later, but it also helps enlarge the prostate. This, in turn, makes it easier to find once you pop a finger in. Then try rubbing and massaging your sphincter itself. There are a lot of nerves located there. Feels good, right?
Now that we’ve covered the basics, it’s time for the fun stuff. Keep reading to learn how to find your prostate, what prostate play feels like, and more. Enjoy, guys!
FINDING YOUR PROSTATE
Despite being sensitive and capable of producing the most intense orgasms you’ll ever experience, the prostate is often hard to find. Part of this is due to the beliefs mentioned above. After all, fewer men engaging in anal play means less knowledge on how to find your prostate. Part of this is due to the gland itself, though.
Your prostate is a one-inch, walnut-shaped gland located beneath your bladder. It’s about three to four inches from the start of your anal cavity. It’s also not something you’re going to be touching directly. Instead, you’ll be able to feel its outline – the bulge, if you’re into dirty jokes! – through the wall of your rectum.
Don’t worry, even massaging and playing with the bulge is more than enough to give you a prostate-induced orgasm.
To get started finding it, you’re going to want to lube up both your sphincter and finger (or Lelo Bruno Prostate Massager, whatever’s handy) and slowly slide in a few inches. You want whatever you’re using to point towards your stomach. Wiggle it around and you’ll know when you find your prostate. It’s an unmistakable feeling. Speaking of which…
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?
The short answer to “what does prostate milking feel like” is…well, there isn’t a short answer. While playing with your prostate can produce powerful and overwhelming orgasms, it feels different for different people.
At first, many men say prostate stimulation makes them feel like they have to pee. Others say it feels like nothing at all. Still others say they feel a warm or tingly sensation. Whatever it feels like for it, remember to keep at it!
Play around with how you’re massaging your prostate. Try applying sustained pressure. Try tapping it gently multiple times. Try rubbing around the outline. Try a vibrating prostate massager. Try vibrating anal beads (make sure to push them in and out and hit your prostate. You’ll thank us later!).
Keep experimenting and you’ll find the touch, speed, and rhythm that works for you. The result? The mind-blowing, leg-shaking, singular experience of a prostate orgasm. The only question is if you’re ready.
Most sexually curious men and women are interested in anal play, and more specifically how to stimulate the prostate for the most pleasure. Prostate orgasms and prostate play have not been truly explored until more recently. Sure, anal sex has been going on for thousands of years but documenting the process of stimulating the specific p-spot zone known for pleasure is relatively new to us. There is still a lot to learn about prostate play and we have only scratched the surface of its true capabilities to bring male pleasure.
In this guide, we will explain everything about prostate play and prostate orgasms. Where the prostate is located, how to stimulate it, how to achieve orgasm from it and different positions to bring the most pleasure. This is an easy to follow guide that takes a lot of medical research and simplifies it for all to unlock the enormous pleasure the p-spot can provide.
Prostate Orgasm 101:
The first and most important thing to achieve prostate orgasm and even prostate stimulation is of course locating exactly where the prostate is! Like the female g-spot the male p-spot is NOT located 8” in the body. The stereotype of needing a large penis to hit the g-spot or p-spot is scientifically false.
The prostate gland is 3-4” from the beginning of the anal cavity. It’s about 1” across and is just behind the deepest portion of the penis. The gland runs across the urethra. The only way to directly stimulate the prostate is through the urethra (which is not for the faint of heart). The good news is through the anal cavity you can stimulate the prostate, not directly, but still can provide all the prostate stimulation you need. This is the most common way of stimulating the prostate and providing prostate orgasms.
The prostate has more function than just providing mind blowing prostate orgasms. The prostate gland’s main function is to secrete prostate fluid, which is one of the components of semen. It also helps propel this seminal fluid through the urethra during ejaculation.
A lot of men say that prostate massages feel like the beginning of an orgasm. That is because during ejaculation the prostate squeezes to mix and propel the sperm and fluid out of the body. So just imagine that feeling of just before orgasm lasting for as long as you want. Now you know why prostate play and prostate orgasms are so popular among men!
The Dark & Mysterious Prostate Orgasm!
Anal sex has been around for thousands of years, but prostate stimulation and prostate orgasms are relatively new to us. Not to say they didn’t experiment with anal play back in the day, the actual process of stimulating the prostate to achieve orgasm hasn’t been documented or understood until modern science dove deeper.
Naturally because it is new to us it’s considered this dark and mysterious act that only the taboo partake in. Which in reality… is quite sad! The pleasure of the prostate orgasm needs to be explored by all men! Here is the general process that men go through just before and during prostate orgasms. This is what men can expect after exploring prostate play multiple times…usually most men are nervous and uncomfortable the first time. This is common, after a few times of anal play and prostate massaging you will get more comfortable with it to the point of experiencing a prostate orgasm!
Prostate Orgasm Mindset:
The first step in achieving a prostate orgasm is getting in the correct mindset. If this is your first-time diving into prostate play, the mindset play’s and even larger role in making it a pleasurable experience. You should start with a bowel movement an hour or longer before you get started. This will help purge your system. Then follow up with a warm shower and clean your butt with warm soap water. This will give you a sense of relief during anal play that your all clean and ready to go down there.
It is extremely important when you crawl into bed that your comfortable and relaxed. This calm state of mind will help relax your entire body and help loosen your anal muscles to receive your finger, partners finger, anal sex toy, or a partner’s penis.
Practice taking some deep inhales and exhaling slowly to help slow your heart beat. Turn some soft music on, light some great smelling candles, dim the lights… whatever helps you get relaxed and comfortable.
Mind & Body Stimulation:
The second step in achieving prostate orgasm is you or a partner must stimulate your prostate. This is where all the fun begins! Start shallow and slow to start. Use lots of lube, lube, and more lube! If I didn’t stress this enough… use lube! The anal cavity does not produce a natural lubricate like the vagina and requires lube for pleasure and prostate orgasm.
Start with a small anal sex toy or a finger unless you’re experienced in anal play. Lube up your anus and finger… start by applying light pressure around your anus and then over the top of your anus. Pulse the pleasure with your finger and do this until your completely turned on. Either massage your penis with the other hand, watch porn or if your partner is involved have them stimulate you too. To receive anal pleasure being turned on beforehand is critical.
Increase the pressure of your pulsating finger over your anus until you enter your anal cavity. Start shallow and when you feel comfortable progressively enter more and more of your finger. Fecal matter is stored much higher in your intestines so don’t worry about touching any waste, if you are really concerned you can wear a latex glove or use a condom over your finger.
If this is your first anal play experience and you are using an anal sex toy, it may feel uncomfortable at first. If you experience any pain or bleeding make sure to stop immediately. You may feel slight discomfort when stretching over the bulb end, this is normal. Just proceed unless the pain is too much, you should pause and try again or stop all together. Once the large bulb end is in, it will feel much more comfortable and relaxed.
Prostate Massage to Achieve Prostate Orgasm:
Now that you have stimulated your mind and your anus, its time to stimulate your prostate. Work your finger or anal sex toy about 3-4 inches in your body. The prostate will feel similar in size and consistency to a walnut. It is facing towards your stomach and penis. Once you find it, gently start massaging it.
Start with slow circular patterns or the “come here” motion. Start with light pressure and increase until your desired need. If you are preforming this on your partner, make sure to communicate to find the ideal speed and pressure.
You can also try the contract and release method. This is where you flex and release your pelvic floor muscles also known as your PC muscles. These are the same muscles you start and stop the flow of urine with. In fact, you can practice training you PC muscles the next time you go to the bathroom to understand how to “flex” them. Then reenact this sensation during your next prostate massage to help achieve prostate orgasm. I suggest holding the flex for a few seconds and then slowly releasing.
Why Flex your PC Muscles for Prostate Orgasm?
When you flex your PC muscles the rectal wall muscles are slightly drawing the sex toy in and out, causing it to bump against the prostate gland. This is massaging your prostate hands free! The harder you contract the harder the bump will become. This is very good control over massaging your own prostate and it creates pleasure that builds towards prostate orgasm.
Keep in mind that prostate orgasm is NOT the ultimate goal. Simply receiving pleasure through anal stimulation is the goal and can be extremely fun and pleasurable. If you receive a prostate orgasm on top this… it’s considered the cherry on top!
If you are new to flexing your PC muscles, it will be difficult to keep going as those muscles are not trained yet for this activity. You will improve over time, same as you would training your arms, chest, or legs at the gym.
Contractions Leading to Prostate Orgasm:
The first sign you are heading towards a prostate orgasm is contractions. Stimulate the prostate until you are receiving minor PC muscle and sphincter contractions involuntarily. You’ll notice a slight sensation of fullness and warmth in the anus and surrounding pelvic area.
Building up to Prostate Orgasm:
The second sign you are heading towards prostate orgasm is the increasing tension around the area of your prostate gland. The contractions behind your pubic bone start to intensify and the warming sensation in your rectum grows. If you are starting to experience these sensations your preforming your prostate massage correctly. Continue to do this towards achieving your prostate orgasm.
Concentrate on how you got to this point. The process, your mindset, the technique you used… This will make getting to this point much easier the next time around.
Trembling to Your Prostate Orgasm:
This is where it starts to get really good… As you start to transition from the increasing tension and warming sensation into a prostate orgasm your body may start to tremble involuntarily. It’s generally focused around the pelvic area. But if you’re lucky, you’ll experience it as a full body tremble.
At this stage its important to continue stimulating your prostate in the same manor you had done to get here. It’s working well, so don’t change it up now! You’re getting closer to a prostate orgasm that will blow your mind. Any slight change of pressure or movement could cause you to lose it.
For many men, this where the erection starts. But don’t focus on the penis, simply leave it alone. Stimulating this at the same time could distract focus away from the prostate orgasm and lose the momentum you have built. Just let the hard-on happen. It’s all apart of the experience.
The Big Bang! (Prostate Orgasm):
Now its time for the big bang, better known as a prostate orgasm! Most men report a prostate orgasm as being 33% more intense than a normal orgasm.
After the buildup and trembling, this is where the PC muscles start the most intense stage of contractions and release. The feeling of fullness and warmth around your rectum will be at an all time high. Your penis may go soft, this is common it doesn’t matter since the prostate orgasm your about to experience is much more powerful than anything your penis can provide.
The incredible p-wave will radiate throughout the mid-section of your body. The best part of a prostate orgasm is there is no refectory period. You don’t have to stop and wait to recover like a normal orgasm. Keep going for as long as you feel comfortable.
The sensation will overwhelm your entire body with complete ecstasy!
For much too long, the purposes of the prostate in men’s health and sexual experiences have been largely ignored. While there is much information about widely-known medical conditions such as prostate cancer, there isn’t a whole lot of knowledge flying around about the prostate itself. What is it? What does it do? How does it help men in experiencing sex? What are “prostate orgasms”? What are the benefits of prostate stimulation, outside of the medical scope? Men’s pleasure as it relates to the prostate has mostly remained in the reaches of few and far-between websites, blogs and forums, and a lot of it is anecdotal rather than founded in the scientific process.
That isn’t a good thing.
There is literally no downside in better understanding the functions of your body, but the conversation surrounding this walnut-shaped gland (the prostate) often fails to mention one thing: Recreational prostate stimulation is awesome!Discover Hands Free Prostate Orgasms
There are numerous benefits to this practice, even if you do not suffer with prostatitis or one of the other many conditions that can affect the prostate. Some men see an overall improvement in their sexual performance. They last longer in bed or during masturbation, experience greater pleasure than penile stimulation alone can provide, and many have even noted a reduction in sexual dysfunction symptoms.
A number of men report extreme bouts of shaking/shuddering before the induced orgasms occur and when they do they are infinitely more pleasurable than those obtained from penile stimulation
So why is this still such a mystery? There are a lot of taboos and sexual hang-ups that keep this subject on the down-low. Fortunately, more people are talking about it now than ever. Ignoring one’s own prostate out of shyness or embarrassment not only puts your health in jeopardy if you are too shy to see your physician, but can also deprive you of some pretty enriching sexual experiences.
R.J. Levin, an independent researcher from Sheffield, England, has compiled an excellent review of these functions. Entitled Prostate Induced Orgasms: A Concise Review Illustrated with a Relevant Case Study, this publication discusses in-depth the role of the prostate in men’s health and sexual being. Finally! We’re seeing some real, factual information relating to the prostate and recreational sex!
An Overview of the Prostate
The prostate is a walnut-shaped gland that wraps around the top of the urethra and can be stimulated via direct anal stimulation or through the perineum (colloquially known as the “gooch” or “taint”).
“The male human prostate is a musculoglandular organ the size of a walnut; it surrounds the neck of the bladder and urethra and is itself surrounded by complex of fascial structures.”
Of the actual composition of this gland, Levin states:
“The gland can be divided into three zones-a peripheral zone (75% of the gland, the portion that contains the distal urethra), a central zone (5%-8% of the gland, the zone that surrounds the ejaculatory ducts), and a transitional zone (20% of the gland that surrounds the proximal urethra).
Procreative Aspects of the Prostate
Levin refers to the two purposes of the prostate as procreative (regarding male ejaculate) and recreative (in relation to the intensity of orgasms produced). The prostate is an inherently procreative gland, as it is responsible for forming a portion of the make-up of semen. Though the act of ejaculation seems like it would be a pretty simple and straightforward one, there is actually a lot that goes on before sperm leaves the body in its vital form. First, it is composed of “secretions from the glands of Littre (lining the penile urethra), Cowper’s (bulbourethra) gland, testicular and epididydimal fluid containing the spermatozoa, the prostate and finally the seminal vesicles.”During this process, the prostate creates what amounts to about 30% of the sperm’s overall content.
Semen contains many components, and some of their functions are not yet fully understood. Some of the known components and their functions include:
Zinc, a possible antibacterial agent.
Prostatic Specific Antigen (PSA), an enzyme that makes semen become liquid upon ejaculation.
Spermine, which is possibly antibacterial and also gives semen its distinct smell.
The composition of semen is not where the role of the prostate ends, however.
“While the prostate is involved in forming part of the ejaculate (as detailed above) it is also involved in ejaculation per se as its fibromuscular covering containing smooth muscle contracts clonically under its adrenergic innovation propelling the semen from the prostatic urethra to the penile urethra.”
Prior to ejaculation, there are typically contractions happening around the prostate. When this happens, “ejaculatory inevitability” happens. This means that there is no way that you aren’t ejaculating. And this happens in every ejaculatory orgasm you’ll ever have, even ones without any kind of prostate stimulation involved.
What is “Rewiring?”
Here’s something interesting to think about: when induced ejaculations are not accompanied by pelvic contractions, they don’t tend to be very effective at inducing pleasure. However, this is not true of prostate-induced orgasms, which can lack the kind of muscular contractions needed to propel semen outside of the body. Prostate stimulation offers you the opportunity to have “dry orgasms,” or orgasms where ejaculation does not occur. This can be the open door to experiencing multiple orgasms, as long as ejaculation does not occur upon orgasm, as this causes men to enter a refractory period wherein they cannot orgasm again for a period of time.Want to have Multiple Male Orgasms?
But what does (brain) rewiring have to do with this? Well, the plasticity of the brain makes a pretty good case for this practice, which really places genital awareness and increased arousal at the forefront.
It is now accepted that the human brain is constantly changing its functional and structural properties depending on the variety of inputs and experiences. This plasticity is thought to be manifest through synaptic reorganization and/or the balance of excitation/inhibition among neurons.
Levin cites medical literature that refers to the plasticity of the human brain for what it is: the plasticity of the human brain. But a more layman’s term for this is “Rewiring.” This concept essentially suggests that by practicing prostate-induced orgasms, a man can become more aware of his body and his arousal. There is some anecdotal evidence out there that brain rewiring can turn your blasé sex life on its head and make you entirely rethink everything you thought you knew about what turns you on-in the very best way.
What the Internet has to say About Prostate Orgasms
Unfortunately there isn’t a whole lot of accessible medical literature on this subject, but that doesn’t mean that you are at a loss. The internet is a vast place, and inside of it are hundreds of thousands of results that can teach you more about your prostate and how to get the most out of that little gland. Most of these results are heavily reliant on anecdotal information, men’s personal experiences that they felt inclined to share. Levin states in his review that there are no laboratory-conducted tests pertaining to prostate-induced orgasms, which means that there generally isn’t going to be much more comprehensive information out there than what one will find on forums and blogs.
Specific results have been developed commercially to enable males to stimulate their prostates per rectum without using hands that have created a large user community.
One product, the Aneros prostate massager, is noted in Levin’s review for its particularly large and encompassing online presence and popularity of the product itself. Their community forum has posts that are widely referenced, with views ranging from a few hundred to half a million. There are a lot of men seeking information about prostate stimulation via the anonymity of the internet, but the information that’s currently available is sorely lacking in anything other than anecdote-rich blogs and articles.
The online community is also responsible for the prostate being so widely referred to as “the male G-spot.” This is an anatomically incorrect analogy, but it is a popular one that decently leaves the impression of how the prostate relates to male pleasure (as the female G-spot is the source of amazing sexual pleasure for women).
“A number of men report extreme bouts of shaking/shuddering before the induced orgasms occur and when they do they are infinitely more pleasurable than those obtained from penile stimulation,” Levin says of the men on the Aneros forum and other similar online communities.
Some men have even said that prostate stimulation can be addictive.
A Curious Case Study: Can Prostate Orgasms be Addictive?
Levin cites a study of one 63-year-old man in his review. The man had suffered a recent bout of prostatitis, but was otherwise healthy. He began using the Aneros prostate massager to cope with the symptoms of this condition. He was also on prescribed medication for prostatitis.
“He also had a course of the PDE-5 inhibitor tadalafil 2.5 mg daily which is now licensed for lower urinary tract symptoms in men. His prostatitis symptoms resolved within 2 months of regular Aneros use several times weekly combined with the tadalafil. However he found that the intense orgasms produced by the device were highly addictive and many were subjectively described in the ‘Super-O’ category.”
In this case study, the man had initially pursued treatment for his prostatitis using the Aneros device. While it aided in relieving him of his symptoms, it also seemed to trigger an addiction in this otherwise healthy 63-year-old.
The term “Super-O” refers to super orgasms, the most powerful and intense orgasms that a person can have. They can usually be triggered via prostate stimulation after some practice, and brings the body to new heights of pleasure upon mastery. We’ve heard of sex addiction before, though the existence of this condition seems to be frequently debated in the court of public opinion, there is one thing that you should keep in mind when contemplating whether or not it is a legitimate condition:
When you orgasm, your brain lights up as if it were on heroin.
If that sounds really intense to you, that’s because it is indeed very intense. The addictiveness of the drug heroin is well-documented, researched and confirmed-there is no question about it. Does it not stand to reason that any action, like a powerful orgasm, that triggers a similar reaction could end up in similar results?
The man in this case study went about trying to curb his addiction to Anerosuse, even attempting to “de-wire” his brain. Even after he ceased using the device, his body and mind had changed in surprising ways.
“Our subject found that he could achieve intense orgasms by lying prone wearing a condom without the Aneros present, the condom and pillows (resting beneath the subject’s pelvis) being sufficient stimuli to trigger a reflex orgasm without any direct mechanical stimulation to the penis. The ability to orgasm without the device has persisted for at least 12 months since the last insertion of the Aneros.”
The subject of this cast study found that the prostate-induced Super-Os were so intensely pleasurable that he easily found himself dedicating too much time to the Aneros prostate massager. Additionally, an old neck injury became aggravated during its use. This was due to the spasms caused in his neck by lying prone while using the device. Clearly, addiction to prostate orgasms was very much an issue for this man.
While addiction is never a positive thing, it is worth noting that his mastery of prostate stimulation during his bout of prostatitis shows some interesting results. Not only was he able to achieve hands free orgasm with minimal stimulation of any kind, but the subject found himself able to have as many as ten non-ejaculatory orgasms per sex or masturbation session.
Unfortunately there is a stunning lack of research on this matter, so who knows how common stories like this man’s are?
Above we frequently commented on the lack of scientific research behind prostate-induced orgasms. Levin’s review is one of the first to really detail these matters in a more in-depth fashion, and we certainly hope that it won’t be the last. There is much to gain from having a better understanding of one’s anatomy and its multitude of purposes, in terms of both physical health and sexual experience. The more we know, the more we will be able to address these functions and understand them for what they are. And who doesn’t want that?
The internet is rife with information, but some of it is less than informative. Some of it is very vague or poorly-written, but there are some sources (like the Aneros community forum) that have a higher caliber of content to help you better understand what the prostate does, how to safely stimulate it and why you should give it a try.
Prostate-induced orgasms are frequently more intense than orgasms achieved via penile stimulation alone. For many men this is the only way that they can experience “super orgasms,” which are more powerful and pleasurable, as well as more full-bodied, than traditional orgasms. This is also one of the few ways that a man can achieve dry orgasms and multiple orgasms, though it does require a bit of patience and practice to get the method down just right.
We hope that in the future there will be further studies conducted on the prostate, its role in the body and how it relates to the human capacity for sexual pleasure. Perhaps future research will include brain scans and other tests to quantify and better understand what happens in the brain and the rest of the body when orgasm is achieved with prostate stimulation.
While we’ve heard countless times how ah-mazing a prostate massage feels, it can be daunting AF to put a cheeky finger up your guy’s butt for the first time. Maybe you’re worried things could get a bit messy, or maybe you’re worried you’ll ‘do it wrong’. But if there is a fun, magical way to make bae feel different kinds of amazing, we’re all about digging deeper (couldn’t resist; I’m sorry). We decided to chat to Shaun, a 26-year-old homosexual from Johannesburg, to find out the where, how and why of a prostate massage.
The Where Firstly, let’s start with an anatomy lesson. The prostate is a small, walnut-sized organ that helps create semen. Its depth differs from guy to guy. Sometimes, in the case of taller guys, it can be a bit deeper. But generally, I’d say it’s about 6,5cm deep or so, or the first two sections of your index finger.
The Nitty Gritty You need to make peace with the fact that you’ll be exploring an anus. There is a chance things might get a little messy. However, while the anus is not known to be the cleanest of areas, it’s cleaner than you realise. Consider that the area you’ll be dabbling in is only utilised when there’s a visitor on its way out. So unless he needs to poop right then, it’ll most likely be clean. If you guys have discussed it before (which I’d recommend doing) instead of being spontaneous, it’ll give him time to make sure he’s squeaky clean.
The Non-Negotiable YOU WILL NEED lube. Start with something like K-Y Jelly. The rectum is an incredibly sensitive area, so try avoiding lubricants packed with too many ingredients that you don’t recognise, as it could cause irritation. Do not go in dry or use spit.
The How The idea behind a prostate massage is to apply mild pressure by rubbing/massaging it. It’s a super-sensitive area, so you don’t need to go crazy by poking or prodding at it. If your guy is as new to this as you are, start small. Don’t whip out a strap-on or a butt-plug. A finger will do the trick.
While he’s lying on his back, with your palm facing up, slowly start putting your finger (which is clean and has a short and smoothly cut nail!) up his butt. Take your time and make sure there’s enough lube. Once it’s in, curl your finger upwards slightly in a ‘come here’ motion, until you feel his prostate. It feels like a walnut-sized bump, but it’s very smooth and soft to the touch.
The Why While some men can come from prostate stimulation alone, many can’t. It could be a good idea to include a blow job in your new adventure. When he does come, he’ll experience an orgasm unlike any he’s had before. Be prepared, because he may come a lot harder than you (or he) are used to!
Enough With The Taboos The mere fact that he’s comfortable enough to experiment with such things with you is amazing: he’s a keeper, honey. Trust me. The more often you two experiment with it, the more comfortable you’ll become and the more satisfaction you’ll both get from the experience.