Category Archives: Knowledge

The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Orgasms

So you’ve done your research. You’ve found your prostate gland. You’ve learned how to massage it properly and what sort of feeling you might have. The problem is, you just can’t seem to bring yourself to orgasm.

Don’t panic! You aren’t broken or incompetent. Prostate orgasms are quite difficult to have. Some men massage and milk their prostates for years without ever having an orgasm. While it would be nice as an end goal, you have to remember that you’re still doing something that is great for your health, even if you aren’t having orgasms.

If you’re determined to go to the next level though, good for you! It can take some dedication to actually reach the big O, but most men who have experienced prostate orgasm find that after you’ve done it once, it becomes a lot easier. This is because on your subsequent attempts, you know exactly what you did before, so it’s easier to replicate.  

Just to make sure you’ve got the process completely down, I’m going to run through the entire experience, start to finish. Along the way I’ll also try to add in notes from across the internet. These might not be necessary for some people, but for others they can make the difference between a simple prostate massage, and a mind blowing orgasm.


The first phase of your prostate massage, is arguably the most important if you wish to achieve orgasm. Going into it with the wrong mindset is pretty much a guarantee that you won’t make it to orgasm.  

Some men like to follow a specific ritual or guideline while preparing for their session. This is most often just the order you do things in, but can involve things like long baths, lighting scented candles and maybe even massaging themselves with some relaxing oils before they start. There are a few common things that all men should do before they start a session of prostate play though. A bowel movement is going to be needed to make sure that you don’t start poking at any stored up feces.

Different men will say different things, but the average seems to be a trip to the toilet around an hour before you begin.

The next step all men tend to take is taking a shower. You want to pay extra attention to your anus and make sure it is sparkling clean. Depending on your experience with anal activity, you might also want to begin gently inserting your finger into your anus. Not only will this make sure the immediate area inside is clean, but you can start to get yourself a little turned on with some gentle massaging of the area.


Whether or not you choose to get yourself started off while showering, nearly all men who’ve had a prostate orgasm will agree that being aroused is step number one in reaching orgasm. When you get in the mood, blood flow to the area increases and the prostate begins to swell up. This makes it easier to find, but also much more pleasurable. Almost anyone who has tried a prostate massage while not aroused will probably tell you the same thing: it doesn’t feel too great. So do whatever you need to get the love juices flowing, be it porn, stroking, massage, or anything else.


Fingers are the go to tool for many men wanting to stimulate their prostate. They’re definitely the easiest option, but not without their own drawbacks.

The prostate gland is located around two to four inches inside the anus. For most men this will mean they need to insert their finger around two joints inside to reach their prostate. For some men it can be further up, so more of a finger is needed. In others, their fingers just aren’t long enough, so they stand no chance of stimulating their prostate using fingers alone.

To know whether or not you can reach far enough, a good technique is to start by putting your finger just inside your anus. Place a small amount of pressure on the front wall of the anus (the side towards your belly). If you don’t feel anything, then insert the finger a little further, and try a small amount of pressure again.

 You keep moving up and pressuring until you find your prostate. You should be able to tell when you do, as you should feel a sudden urge to urinate. This is totally normal and fine, and you aren’t at risk of wetting yourself.  If you are able to find it and reach it effectively, great! You’ve made it past the first hurdle. If not, head on down to the prostate massagers section and see what other options are available to you.

The second hurdle when using the fingers to massage your own prostate is that they’re fingers. Stick with me here. When you use any part of your body for an extended period of time, what is the feeling you end up with? Tiredness. The same is true for your fingers.

In some men it can take several hours to reach a successful prostate orgasm, so using your fingers for that length of time can be quite difficult. Even if you can maintain some level of controlled movement for an extended period without hand or arm aches/cramps, you are also contending with a rather limited range of movement. Keeping your finger in, and staying comfortable gives you a small amount of space to work with, and depending on the angle you need to use to reach your prostate, it might not be feasible to effectively massage the area.

This whole to-do with finding your prostate can be a bit of a turn off sometimes, so it may be worth spending some time on a seperate day exploring the area and identifying the right places to touch. On another day, armed with your new knowledge get yourself prepared and aroused and start your session proper.

Again this is individual to each man, and if you find something that works for you then you’re all set to get started properly. If not, then it’s time to try some extra tools.


Where something cannot be done, man will find a way. This is never truer than with prostate massage. Even in an area that has been surrounded by taboo and controversy over the years, those that were keen to explore have been able to find their own methods for stimulating their prostate where their fingers have failed. These methods take the form of prostate massagers.

Essentially a butt plug, but with a curve or angle, prostate massagers are specifically designed tools aimed at aiding you hit the orgasm you want. They come in all kinds of shapes and styles, so you might need to spend a bit of time finding exactly what you’re looking for, but when you do they can make the entire process a whole lot easier.

If you choose to use a prostate massager over your fingers, you have a few added bonuses. The first is just a whole range of extra movement. You can hold onto the plug by the base, and angle it any way you want. 

You have almost complete control over the movements and pressure you put on the prostate and it’s so much easier. Any time you feel your arms beginning to tire or ache, you can take a break and let them rest. But even then you can continue stimulating your prostate with some simple Kegel exercises. The clenching and releasing actions of an effective Kegel will move the plug up and down your prostate in a stroking action.

Your other bonus is vibration! A completely different feeling that no matter how dexterous you are, you won’t be able to truly recreate with your fingers. A vibrating plug can really change what you experience while prostate massaging, allowing you to fully let go and relax into the feelings without needing to touch anything. If you’ve tried various things but found yourself unable to truly relax and focus on your feeling, a vibrating prostate massager can be the way to go.


I know we’ve talked a lot about getting started with a prostate massage session, and not talked much about actually reaching orgasm, but we’re nearly done with prep work. I promise!

The final area of prep to cover is lube. I maybe shouldn’t have left it till last, as it is undoubtedly the most important part. Your butt doesn’t produce any lubrication! Without lube, any attempts at prostate massage will feel like rubbing your insides along sandpaper. To put it another way, unpleasant and painful.

Both silicone-based lubes and oil-based lubes are much longer lasting than water-based lubes. While the latter is totally acceptable for anal play, you will have to reapply it more often during a longer session. 

Silicone-based lubes should be approached with caution, as using them on a silicone toy can break down the surface material, and contaminate your anus and rectum. 

Oil-based lubes are the clear favorite here, and there are many kinds to choose from. I’ll leave it up to you, but be sure to do your research and know exactly what the lube you’re going to use contains. You don’t want any nasty surprises.

Due to the length of time you may need to be inside yourself, having a high quality lube is key. The longer it lasts the better! While you can reapply it as you go along, if you end up getting yourself close to orgasm and find that you need to stop and apply more lube, it’s really going to kill the mood.

You’re also going to need lots of it. Whatever you think is enough, double it. You need to make sure it gets everywhere, so really baste yourself in it. The most important part is to get it up and inside your anus. This part is where a lot of people will fall short with anal play. Just because it’s on a finger, prostate massager, dildo, butt plug, or anything else, it doesn’t mean it’s automatically going to make it into your butt.

If you find yourself having trouble with this, look into picking up a lube syringe. These are usually made to medical grade standards, and inserting the tip into your anus allows you to directly feed the lube into it.


So if you’re nice and turned on, have everything lubed up, and chosen your method of massage, then it’s time to begin.

If it’s your very first time, you’re going to want to take it very slowly. While this is always good advice for any anal activity, it is especially true if you aren’t used to it. The sphincter muscles of the anus are extremely elastic, but if you’ve never used them for anything other than toilet trips they aren’t going to be used to opening up at other times. The more you perform prostate massage the more these muscles will adapt and eventually you should be able to slide things in with very little feeling of discomfort.

Once you’ve got your implement in, stop and have a little rest. 

Remember you need to try and stay as relaxed and aroused as possible, and constantly thinking things like “my butt feels weird” isn’t going to help. You need to adjust, and get used to the feelings. It might not happen in your first session, but before long you’ll be totally used to it. 

If you’re at the point where something is in your butt, and it doesn’t feel totally alien and weird. AND you’ve managed to keep your arousal and relaxation high, then you’re probably in the best state possible for a prostate orgasm. Now it’s the simple matter of stimulating it.

There are literally tons of different motions and movements you can try. Everyone likes different things, so rather than trying to tell you which one is “best” or “most effective”, I’ll try to just list all of the ones I’ve come across and you can try them until you find your favorites.


  • Come-hither motion: One of the most popular techniques, you gently roll your finger up and back in the direction of your belly. It’s exactly the same motion you’d use to tell someone to walk towards you, and is often recommended for a woman’s vagina for the exact same reasons: It gently stimulates the entire length of the area.
  • Pushing a doorbell: This one is often recommended for entering your anus too. Rather than directly prodding or poking at anything, simply rest the pad part of your finger on the prostate, just like you would a doorbell. Then gently start to “ring the bell”. You can experiment with different amounts of pressure, and holding it down for different amounts of time until you find something that you like. 
  • Circling the yard: This one can be more difficult depending on your angle and how dexterous you are. Basically you want to lay the pad of your finger on the prostate, just like the doorbell, but this time rather than pushing, you run your finger all the way around the edge of the gland. Depending on the size of yours this may be more or less effective as you’ll have more or less surface to cover. You can experiment with speeds, and try different amounts of pressure while you rub. 
  • Simulated Vibrations: If you can get the hang of the movements without being too rough, it’s totally feasible that you can make your finger feel a bit like it’s a vibrator. While this can feel great and give you lots of stimulation, it’s going to be difficult to keep it going for a long period of time. It can be best to save this until you feel yourself getting close to an orgasm. 
  • Experiment! There’s probably loads more things that I haven’t mentioned and men will be thinking “why didn’t he say to do this”. Like much of this process, it’s a totally personal thing, so don’t be afraid to move your finger around and see if you can find something new that you enjoy. 
  • Be Gentle: No matter which techniques you choose to use while your finger is inside you, you need to be careful. The prostate and the anus are both incredibly sensitive areas, and going a bit too rough on them can leave you a bit sore for a few days. Roughing it up too often could cause some real damage to either, which isn’t going to help our arousal and enjoyment.  


The options here are a little different, so I’m not going to make a list giving you techniques. Instead I’ll just give you some ideas of what kinds of things you can do with a massager.

  • Pressure is probably the easiest thing to vary with a massager when compared to fingers. Being able to move the unit around by pulling and pushing on the base can give you a much greater level of control. When you find a level of pressure you like or want to stick with for a while, you can try and position the massager to stay there, so it isn’t a constant effort like it is with your fingers. 
  • Depth: Prostate massagers come in many different sizes. Some of the longer ones are able to go deeper into your butt while still hitting the spots of the prostate you need it to. Others will literally just reach the prostate and go no further. Depending on how comfortable you are, and the enjoyment you get from anal play, you can try out different kinds of massagers until you find the one that’s ideal for you. 
  • External massage: Many prostate massagers will come with an extra arm that sits outside of the body. This isn’t just to keep it from getting eaten by your butt, but it’s meant to sit on, and stimulate the perineum. This fleshy area behind your scrotum is directly underneath your prostate, and is what people stimulate when they perform external prostate massage. By using a massager with one of these arms, you’re getting the best of both worlds. 
  • Cock Ring: There are also varieties of prostate massager that come with a cock ring built onto the outside. These can be great if you struggle to maintain arousal during a prostate massage. Some men have the unfortunate problem that the second something enters their anus their erections will instantly drop. Maintaining a solid erection throughout can do wonders for keeping yourself aroused. 
  • Vibrations, as we discussed a little earlier, can make the entire process of prostate massage that little bit easier. If you’re after something simple and easy to use, this is definitely the way to go. 

If you’re thinking about going with a prostate massager over your finger, we’ve done an in depth look at both the designs and use of them which you should definitely take a look at.


At some point during the process, you might notice some white fluid leaking out of your penis. You shouldn’t be alarmed, as this is part of the prostate massage and is totally normal. What you’ll be noticing is basically ejaculation, only without the sperm. The fluid is mostly made up of the liquids that are stored and produced in the prostate, and should be roughly milk-like in color and consistency, hence the term prostate milking.

You can choose to milk the prostate for as long as you like, and by varying speed or pressure you can spend a lot of time to make sure that everything is cleared out properly. If your main goal is prostate orgasm though, this won’t be your primary concern. It is though, a sign that you are on the right track.

Sometimes you might spend quite a long time massaging, but have no pre-cum leakage at all. It’s likely in this case that you just aren’t hitting quite the right spot. Everyone’s body is different, and just because you’ve read it should be done one way it doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you. If this happens to you it might be worth trying something different.



There are a great range of positions you can use if your first choice isn’t working for you. The most popular and simple one will be simply lying on your back, reaching down past your stomach. If this isn’t doing it for you, or if you just fancy different, here are some options:

  • Face Down: Not the most adventurous change of position, but still an effective one. Flipping over to your stomach can help you have a bit more access to your anus, and you can rest your arms on your back while you massage so they don’t get as tired. One downside to this one is that your hand will be the opposite way up, so things like the come-hither motion will no longer work. If you’re dexterous though, you should still be able to effectively reach your prostate. 
  • Both Legs Up: Still remaining on your back, but the simple act of pulling both of your legs up to your chest (or further if you’re flexible), can give you much greater access to your anus. The position also naturally opens up your butt cheeks too, making it a little easier to access. 
  • Laying on one side, outer leg to chest: This one’s a little harder to explain, but it’s kind of a fetal position on the outer half of your body. You use your arm to reach around over the bent leg to reach the anus. This can be quite a comfortable position, but the angles can make some kinds of stimulation a little difficult. 
  • Doggy Style: Just like the sexual position, doggy style can be a useful one for reaching the prostate. This position gives you some flexibility, as your arm can reach between your legs or over your butt to reach the anus. It can help to use some pillows to take some of the weight off your legs. 
  • Experiment! There’s no wrong answers here, so if you can find a position that works for you, then go with it! 


Most people are going to recommend using internal massage techniques when you are trying to achieve a prostate orgasm. If you aren’t yet comfortable with something entering your anus though, you aren’t completely out of luck. While externally stimulated prostate orgasms aren’t as common, some men have perfected the art, and can summon some truly magical feelings without even touching their insides.

Even if you’re perfectly happy entering your anus, external massage can have it’s role in your prostate massage sessions. It can be a useful warm-up during your initial phases of arousal and prep. Or you can use it as a little halfway break if your arm or anal muscles start to feel a little tired. So don’t be afraid to mix it up, and try a little external massage on your journey to prostate heaven!


All men will know what penis orgasms are like. Pretty much any penile touches while slightly aroused will really help get you going. As we discussed earlier, maintaining your arousal during your session can be a big help due to the increased prostate size, so making sure you’re nice and hard can make a big difference. Another option is to wear a cock ring. For most men this will be enough to maintain a constant erection, with the bonus that you don’t need to touch your penis at all during your massage.

If you feel the arousal leaving, and the enjoyment dropping during your massages, a short play with your penis can help top you back up and keep you going. You should be careful though, as for most men reaching a regular penile orgasm will put a swift end to any enjoyment you were receiving from your prostate massages.


Your quest for prostate orgasms doesn’t have to be a solo one! While most men will prefer their first few attempts at prostate massage to be done privately, allowing someone else to get involved can enhance the experience a huge amount. Not only will it be easier for them to reach your prostate without you having to fold yourself up, letting someone else take care of the actual massage means that you can relax fully. Being able to focus entirely on the feelings you have rather than the physical act of performing massage, can make it easier to reach orgasm.


While most men are able to find their own prostates, for some it might feel like you just aren’t hitting the right spot. This is probably more relevant if you’ve tried massaging a lot, but still not had any pre-cum during the stimulation. It is possible that your prostate is just in a slightly different position to normal, so a conversation with a doctor (and maybe a short rectal exam) will help to clear things up. An added bonus is that if they do need to touch your prostate themselves, you’ll know exactly what it’ll feel like for your next attempt.


Now let’s assume that everything is going great. You’re able to find your prostate and enjoy stimulating it. You’ve got pre-cum dripping out of your penis. But you just can’t reach orgasm. What’s a man to do?

Unfortunately, there really isn’t an easy answer for this. Some men will reach the goal quickly, others might take many attempts. The main thing is to focus on enjoying the process. Kind of annoying really, isn’t it?

Luckily for you I’ve scoured the internet, and I’ve found a couple of last tidbits of wisdom that just might help.

  • Edging is the act of masturbating with the penis until you are just on the brink of orgasm, and then stopping. Sometimes doing this just before you begin prostate massage, and repeating any time you lose arousal can help bring you closer to prostate orgasm. 
  • An intense need to urinate is often a feeling that will cause some men to slow down or stop their massage. For most though, pushing through this feeling and continuing with the massage is the final barrier. So next time you feel like you’re going to wet yourself, remember that you definitely wont, and keep pushing yourself that little bit further. 
  • Utilizing your pelvic floor muscles at the right time can make the difference for some. The pelvic floor works with the prostate during orgasm, causing the spasming you feel in your penis and pelvis. If you can time some pelvic floor clenches as you near the peaks of your massage, it could tip you over the edge. 

Now that really was a bit of an epic. I’ve spent a lot of time reading about many men’s different experience and tried to give you as many tools as possible for your journey to prostate orgasm. The rest is up to you! Get yourself into the habit of regularly massaging your prostate, find the things you like, and hopefully before long you’ll be feeling the best orgasms of your life!

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prostate milking 101

There’s a reason the prostate is known as the P-Spot. It’s the male equivalent of the famous G-Spot and paying a little attention to it will result in the strongest orgasms of your life. Seriously, prostate play makes guys explode. We highly recommend trying it out!   

We know, the idea of sticking a finger or butt plug into your back door isn’t always the most appealing. Most guys fall prey to cultural stereotypes and a general uneasiness when it comes to anal play. We get it. We’re here to change that. We’re here to tell you to broaden your horizons and embrace the pleasure that comes from your prostate.

Remember that old saying that ships are safe in harbor, but that’s not what they were made for? Well, your orgasms are fine without prostate play, but that isn’t what YOU were made for. You’re a sexual being, we all are. Humans were made to experience pleasure – why not embrace that simple fact?


The very first thing we need to stress is that NOTHING about prostate play makes you gay. It doesn’t make you less of a man. It doesn’t make your feminine. It doesn’t do anything but make you a forward-thinking person who’s in touch with your sexuality, and that’s pretty rad if you ask us.

The next thing we need to say is that the idea that milking your prostate makes you gay is a holdover from another time. It’s closed-minded and, in all honestly, really dumb. Unfortunately, it’s a common belief.

This attitude needs to change. We need to update these beliefs to something more modern – like the fact that as many as 57% of men from one particular study had engaged in some form of anal play. We’d like that number to reach 100% because trust us, guys, it’s awesome. Still, we couldn’t be prouder to play a part in this blooming cultural open-mindedness.

Want to join us? Then share your prostate stories with [email address] and we might feature them, anonymously of course, in the future!

One more piece of info and then we’re onto the sexy stuff, we promise. Regularly milking your prostate has some substantial health benefits. These include: helping to prevent benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) by eliminating the buildup of prostatic fluid, improving blood flow to your prostate, and even potentially reducing the risk of developing prostate cancer.

Okay, now it’s time to move onto the fun stuff – practical tips for milking your prostate.


Make sure to use lube when doing anything with you or your partner’s ass. That’s prostate play 101. The type of lube you use is up to you, though we’re big fans of anal lube and silicone-based lubes. Just remember that if you use silicone lube, you can’t use silicone toys too!


This one’s a no-brainer, right? Wrong. You’d be surprised how many guys don’t think much about their fingernails before getting down with their prostate. We’ll spare you the cringey and painful descriptions, but just know that you ONLY want something smooth going in.


Whenever the topic of milking your prostate comes up, it’s inevitable that most people think about feces. While this certainly is something to consider, it’s not as likely as you think. Now that doesn’t mean you don’t want to make sure you’re spick and span down there. Take a shower, wash everything up, try out an enema for maximum cleanliness, and go into your experience feeling comfortable.


Don’t go for the gold all at once! Work up to using your finger, your anal beads, or a toy with a flared base on your ass. Start with your perineum and sphincter and work your way up to penetration and massage.

Your perineum is the area between your scrotum and butt. By massaging and pushing on it, you begin to stimulate the tissues around your prostate. Try it out. Not only does this give you a taste of what you’re in for once later, but it also helps enlarge the prostate. This, in turn, makes it easier to find once you pop a finger in. Then try rubbing and massaging your sphincter itself. There are a lot of nerves located there. Feels good, right?

Now that we’ve covered the basics, it’s time for the fun stuff. Keep reading to learn how to find your prostate, what prostate play feels like, and more. Enjoy, guys!


Despite being sensitive and capable of producing the most intense orgasms you’ll ever experience, the prostate is often hard to find. Part of this is due to the beliefs mentioned above. After all, fewer men engaging in anal play means less knowledge on how to find your prostate. Part of this is due to the gland itself, though.

Your prostate is a one-inch, walnut-shaped gland located beneath your bladder. It’s about three to four inches from the start of your anal cavity. It’s also not something you’re going to be touching directly. Instead, you’ll be able to feel its outline – the bulge, if you’re into dirty jokes! – through the wall of your rectum.

Don’t worry, even massaging and playing with the bulge is more than enough to give you a prostate-induced orgasm.

To get started finding it, you’re going to want to lube up both your sphincter and finger (or Lelo Bruno Prostate Massager, whatever’s handy) and slowly slide in a few inches. You want whatever you’re using to point towards your stomach. Wiggle it around and you’ll know when you find your prostate. It’s an unmistakable feeling. Speaking of which…


The short answer to “what does prostate milking feel like” is…well, there isn’t a short answer. While playing with your prostate can produce powerful and overwhelming orgasms, it feels different for different people.

tips for intense prostate orgasms

At first, many men say prostate stimulation makes them feel like they have to pee. Others say it feels like nothing at all. Still others say they feel a warm or tingly sensation. Whatever it feels like for it, remember to keep at it!

Play around with how you’re massaging your prostate. Try applying sustained pressure. Try tapping it gently multiple times. Try rubbing around the outline. Try a vibrating prostate massager. Try vibrating anal beads (make sure to push them in and out and hit your prostate. You’ll thank us later!).

Keep experimenting and you’ll find the touch, speed, and rhythm that works for you. The result? The mind-blowing, leg-shaking, singular experience of a prostate orgasm. The only question is if you’re ready.

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Most sexually curious men and women are interested in anal play, and more specifically how to stimulate the prostate for the most pleasure. Prostate orgasms and prostate play have not been truly explored until more recently. Sure, anal sex has been going on for thousands of years but documenting the process of stimulating the specific p-spot zone known for pleasure is relatively new to us. There is still a lot to learn about prostate play and we have only scratched the surface of its true capabilities to bring male pleasure.

prostate orgasm, men butt

In this guide, we will explain everything about prostate play and prostate orgasms. Where the prostate is located, how to stimulate it, how to achieve orgasm from it and different positions to bring the most pleasure. This is an easy to follow guide that takes a lot of medical research and simplifies it for all to unlock the enormous pleasure the p-spot can provide.

Prostate Orgasm 101:

  • Prostate Location:

The first and most important thing to achieve prostate orgasm and even prostate stimulation is of course locating exactly where the prostate is! Like the female g-spot the male p-spot is NOT located 8” in the body. The stereotype of needing a large penis to hit the g-spot or p-spot is scientifically false.

prostate orgasm

The prostate gland is 3-4” from the beginning of the anal cavity. It’s about 1” across and is just behind the deepest portion of the penis. The gland runs across the urethra. The only way to directly stimulate the prostate is through the urethra (which is not for the faint of heart). The good news is through the anal cavity you can stimulate the prostate, not directly, but still can provide all the prostate stimulation you need. This is the most common way of stimulating the prostate and providing prostate orgasms.

  • Prostate Function:

The prostate has more function than just providing mind blowing prostate orgasms. The prostate gland’s main function is to secrete prostate fluid, which is one of the components of semen. It also helps propel this seminal fluid through the urethra during ejaculation.

A lot of men say that prostate massages feel like the beginning of an orgasm. That is because during ejaculation the prostate squeezes to mix and propel the sperm and fluid out of the body. So just imagine that feeling of just before orgasm lasting for as long as you want. Now you know why prostate play and prostate orgasms are so popular among men!

  • The Dark & Mysterious Prostate Orgasm!

Anal sex has been around for thousands of years, but prostate stimulation and prostate orgasms are relatively new to us. Not to say they didn’t experiment with anal play back in the day, the actual process of stimulating the prostate to achieve orgasm hasn’t been documented or understood until modern science dove deeper.

Naturally because it is new to us it’s considered this dark and mysterious act that only the taboo partake in. Which in reality… is quite sad! The pleasure of the prostate orgasm needs to be explored by all men! Here is the general process that men go through just before and during prostate orgasms. This is what men can expect after exploring prostate play multiple times…usually most men are nervous and uncomfortable the first time. This is common, after a few times of anal play and prostate massaging you will get more comfortable with it to the point of experiencing a prostate orgasm!

  • Prostate Orgasm Mindset:

The first step in achieving a prostate orgasm is getting in the correct mindset. If this is your first-time diving into prostate play, the mindset play’s and even larger role in making it a pleasurable experience. You should start with a bowel movement an hour or longer before you get started. This will help purge your system. Then follow up with a warm shower and clean your butt with warm soap water. This will give you a sense of relief during anal play that your all clean and ready to go down there.

It is extremely important when you crawl into bed that your comfortable and relaxed. This calm state of mind will help relax your entire body and help loosen your anal muscles to receive your finger, partners finger, anal sex toy, or a partner’s penis.

Practice taking some deep inhales and exhaling slowly to help slow your heart beat. Turn some soft music on, light some great smelling candles, dim the lights… whatever helps you get relaxed and comfortable.

  • Mind & Body Stimulation:

The second step in achieving prostate orgasm is you or a partner must stimulate your prostate. This is where all the fun begins! Start shallow and slow to start. Use lots of lube, lube, and more lube! If I didn’t stress this enough… use lube! The anal cavity does not produce a natural lubricate like the vagina and requires lube for pleasure and prostate orgasm.

Start with a small anal sex toy or a finger unless you’re experienced in anal play. Lube up your anus and finger… start by applying light pressure around your anus and then over the top of your anus. Pulse the pleasure with your finger and do this until your completely turned on. Either massage your penis with the other hand, watch porn or if your partner is involved have them stimulate you too. To receive anal pleasure being turned on beforehand is critical.

  • Prostate Stimulation:

Increase the pressure of your pulsating finger over your anus until you enter your anal cavity. Start shallow and when you feel comfortable progressively enter more and more of your finger. Fecal matter is stored much higher in your intestines so don’t worry about touching any waste, if you are really concerned you can wear a latex glove or use a condom over your finger.

prostate massage

If this is your first anal play experience and you are using an anal sex toy, it may feel uncomfortable at first. If you experience any pain or bleeding make sure to stop immediately. You may feel slight discomfort when stretching over the bulb end, this is normal. Just proceed unless the pain is too much, you should pause and try again or stop all together. Once the large bulb end is in, it will feel much more comfortable and relaxed.

Prostate Massage to Achieve Prostate Orgasm:

Now that you have stimulated your mind and your anus, its time to stimulate your prostate. Work your finger or anal sex toy about 3-4 inches in your body. The prostate will feel similar in size and consistency to a walnut. It is facing towards your stomach and penis. Once you find it, gently start massaging it.

Start with slow circular patterns or the “come here” motion. Start with light pressure and increase until your desired need. If you are preforming this on your partner, make sure to communicate to find the ideal speed and pressure.

You can also try the contract and release method. This is where you flex and release your pelvic floor muscles also known as your PC muscles. These are the same muscles you start and stop the flow of urine with. In fact, you can practice training you PC muscles the next time you go to the bathroom to understand how to “flex” them. Then reenact this sensation during your next prostate massage to help achieve prostate orgasm. I suggest holding the flex for a few seconds and then slowly releasing.

Why Flex your PC Muscles for Prostate Orgasm?

When you flex your PC muscles the rectal wall muscles are slightly drawing the sex toy in and out, causing it to bump against the prostate gland. This is massaging your prostate hands free! The harder you contract the harder the bump will become. This is very good control over massaging your own prostate and it creates pleasure that builds towards prostate orgasm.

Keep in mind that prostate orgasm is NOT the ultimate goal. Simply receiving pleasure through anal stimulation is the goal and can be extremely fun and pleasurable. If you receive a prostate orgasm on top this… it’s considered the cherry on top!

If you are new to flexing your PC muscles, it will be difficult to keep going as those muscles are not trained yet for this activity. You will improve over time, same as you would training your arms, chest, or legs at the gym.

  • Contractions Leading to Prostate Orgasm:

The first sign you are heading towards a prostate orgasm is contractions. Stimulate the prostate until you are receiving minor PC muscle and sphincter contractions involuntarily. You’ll notice a slight sensation of fullness and warmth in the anus and surrounding pelvic area.

  • Building up to Prostate Orgasm:

The second sign you are heading towards prostate orgasm is the increasing tension around the area of your prostate gland. The contractions behind your pubic bone start to intensify and the warming sensation in your rectum grows. If you are starting to experience these sensations your preforming your prostate massage correctly. Continue to do this towards achieving your prostate orgasm.

Concentrate on how you got to this point. The process, your mindset, the technique you used… This will make getting to this point much easier the next time around.

  • Trembling to Your Prostate Orgasm:

This is where it starts to get really good… As you start to transition from the increasing tension and warming sensation into a prostate orgasm your body may start to tremble involuntarily. It’s generally focused around the pelvic area. But if you’re lucky, you’ll experience it as a full body tremble.

At this stage its important to continue stimulating your prostate in the same manor you had done to get here. It’s working well, so don’t change it up now! You’re getting closer to a prostate orgasm that will blow your mind. Any slight change of pressure or movement could cause you to lose it.

female butt, prostate play

For many men, this where the erection starts. But don’t focus on the penis, simply leave it alone. Stimulating this at the same time could distract focus away from the prostate orgasm and lose the momentum you have built. Just let the hard-on happen. It’s all apart of the experience.

  • The Big Bang! (Prostate Orgasm):

Now its time for the big bang, better known as a prostate orgasm! Most men report a prostate orgasm as being 33% more intense than a normal orgasm.

After the buildup and trembling, this is where the PC muscles start the most intense stage of contractions and release. The feeling of fullness and warmth around your rectum will be at an all time high. Your penis may go soft, this is common it doesn’t matter since the prostate orgasm your about to experience is much more powerful than anything your penis can provide.

The incredible p-wave will radiate throughout the mid-section of your body. The best part of a prostate orgasm is there is no refectory period. You don’t have to stop and wait to recover like a normal orgasm. Keep going for as long as you feel comfortable.

The sensation will overwhelm your entire body with complete ecstasy!

Prostate Orgasms!

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Science is FINALLY Studying Prostate Orgasms!

prostate orgasm

Science is FINALLY Studying Prostate Orgasms!

For much too long, the purposes of the prostate in men’s health and sexual experiences have been largely ignored. While there is much information about widely-known medical conditions such as prostate cancer, there isn’t a whole lot of knowledge flying around about the prostate itself. What is it? What does it do? How does it help men in experiencing sex? What are “prostate orgasms”? What are the benefits of prostate stimulation, outside of the medical scope? Men’s pleasure as it relates to the prostate has mostly remained in the reaches of few and far-between websites, blogs and forums, and a lot of it is anecdotal rather than founded in the scientific process.

That isn’t a good thing.

There is literally no downside in better understanding the functions of your body, but the conversation surrounding this walnut-shaped gland (the prostate) often fails to mention one thing: Recreational prostate stimulation is awesome!Discover Hands Free Prostate Orgasms

There are numerous benefits to this practice, even if you do not suffer with prostatitis or one of the other many conditions that can affect the prostate. Some men see an overall improvement in their sexual performance. They last longer in bed or during masturbation, experience greater pleasure than penile stimulation alone can provide, and many have even noted a reduction in sexual dysfunction symptoms.

A number of men report extreme bouts of shaking/shuddering before the induced orgasms occur and when they do they are infinitely more pleasurable than those obtained from penile stimulation 

So why is this still such a mystery? There are a lot of taboos and sexual hang-ups that keep this subject on the down-low. Fortunately, more people are talking about it now than ever. Ignoring one’s own prostate out of shyness or embarrassment not only puts your health in jeopardy if you are too shy to see your physician, but can also deprive you of some pretty enriching sexual experiences.

R.J. Levin, an independent researcher from Sheffield, England, has compiled an excellent review of these functions. Entitled Prostate Induced Orgasms: A Concise Review Illustrated with a Relevant Case Study, this publication discusses in-depth the role of the prostate in men’s health and sexual being. Finally! We’re seeing some real, factual information relating to the prostate and recreational sex!

An Overview of the Prostate

The prostate is a walnut-shaped gland that wraps around the top of the urethra and can be stimulated via direct anal stimulation or through the perineum (colloquially known as the “gooch” or “taint”).

“The male human prostate is a musculoglandular organ the size of a walnut; it surrounds the neck of the bladder and urethra and is itself surrounded by complex of fascial structures.”

Of the actual composition of this gland, Levin states:

“The gland can be divided into three zones-a peripheral zone (75% of the gland, the portion that contains the distal urethra), a central zone (5%-8% of the gland, the zone that surrounds the ejaculatory ducts), and a transitional zone (20% of the gland that surrounds the proximal urethra). 

Procreative Aspects of the Prostate

Levin refers to the two purposes of the prostate as procreative (regarding male ejaculate) and recreative (in relation to the intensity of orgasms produced). The prostate is an inherently procreative gland, as it is responsible for forming a portion of the make-up of semen. Though the act of ejaculation seems like it would be a pretty simple and straightforward one, there is actually a lot that goes on before sperm leaves the body in its vital form. First, it is composed of “secretions from the glands of Littre (lining the penile urethra), Cowper’s (bulbourethra) gland, testicular and epididydimal fluid containing the spermatozoa, the prostate and finally the seminal vesicles.”During this process, the prostate creates what amounts to about 30% of the sperm’s overall content.

Semen contains many components, and some of their functions are not yet fully understood. Some of the known components and their functions include:

  • Zinc, a possible antibacterial agent.
  • Prostatic Specific Antigen (PSA), an enzyme that makes semen become liquid upon ejaculation.
  • Spermine, which is possibly antibacterial and also gives semen its distinct smell.

The composition of semen is not where the role of the prostate ends, however.

“While the prostate is involved in forming part of the ejaculate (as detailed above) it is also involved in ejaculation per se as its fibromuscular covering containing smooth muscle contracts clonically under its adrenergic innovation propelling the semen from the prostatic urethra to the penile urethra.”

prostate orgasm

Prior to ejaculation, there are typically contractions happening around the prostate. When this happens, “ejaculatory inevitability” happens. This means that there is no way that you aren’t ejaculating. And this happens in every ejaculatory orgasm you’ll ever have, even ones without any kind of prostate stimulation involved.

What is “Rewiring?”

Here’s something interesting to think about: when induced ejaculations are not accompanied by pelvic contractions, they don’t tend to be very effective at inducing pleasure. However, this is not true of prostate-induced orgasms, which can lack the kind of muscular contractions needed to propel semen outside of the body. Prostate stimulation offers you the opportunity to have “dry orgasms,” or orgasms where ejaculation does not occur. This can be the open door to experiencing multiple orgasms, as long as ejaculation does not occur upon orgasm, as this causes men to enter a refractory period wherein they cannot orgasm again for a period of time.Want to have Multiple Male Orgasms?

But what does (brain) rewiring have to do with this? Well, the plasticity of the brain makes a pretty good case for this practice, which really places genital awareness and increased arousal at the forefront.

It is now accepted that the human brain is constantly changing its functional and structural properties depending on the variety of inputs and experiences. This plasticity is thought to be manifest through synaptic reorganization and/or the balance of excitation/inhibition among neurons. 

Levin cites medical literature that refers to the plasticity of the human brain for what it is: the plasticity of the human brain. But a more layman’s term for this is “Rewiring.” This concept essentially suggests that by practicing prostate-induced orgasms, a man can become more aware of his body and his arousal. There is some anecdotal evidence out there that brain rewiring can turn your blasé sex life on its head and make you entirely rethink everything you thought you knew about what turns you on-in the very best way.

What the Internet has to say About Prostate Orgasms

Unfortunately there isn’t a whole lot of accessible medical literature on this subject, but that doesn’t mean that you are at a loss. The internet is a vast place, and inside of it are hundreds of thousands of results that can teach you more about your prostate and how to get the most out of that little gland. Most of these results are heavily reliant on anecdotal information, men’s personal experiences that they felt inclined to share. Levin states in his review that there are no laboratory-conducted tests pertaining to prostate-induced orgasms, which means that there generally isn’t going to be much more comprehensive information out there than what one will find on forums and blogs.

Specific results have been developed commercially to enable males to stimulate their prostates per rectum without using hands that have created a large user community. 

One product, the Aneros prostate massager, is noted in Levin’s review for its particularly large and encompassing online presence and popularity of the product itself. Their community forum has posts that are widely referenced, with views ranging from a few hundred to half a million. There are a lot of men seeking information about prostate stimulation via the anonymity of the internet, but the information that’s currently available is sorely lacking in anything other than anecdote-rich blogs and articles.

The online community is also responsible for the prostate being so widely referred to as “the male G-spot.” This is an anatomically incorrect analogy, but it is a popular one that decently leaves the impression of how the prostate relates to male pleasure (as the female G-spot is the source of amazing sexual pleasure for women).

“A number of men report extreme bouts of shaking/shuddering before the induced orgasms occur and when they do they are infinitely more pleasurable than those obtained from penile stimulation,” Levin says of the men on the Aneros forum and other similar online communities.

Some men have even said that prostate stimulation can be addictive.

A Curious Case Study: Can Prostate Orgasms be Addictive?

Levin cites a study of one 63-year-old man in his review. The man had suffered a recent bout of prostatitis, but was otherwise healthy. He began using the Aneros prostate massager to cope with the symptoms of this condition. He was also on prescribed medication for prostatitis.

“He also had a course of the PDE-5 inhibitor tadalafil 2.5 mg daily which is now licensed for lower urinary tract symptoms in men. His prostatitis symptoms resolved within 2 months of regular Aneros use several times weekly combined with the tadalafil. However he found that the intense orgasms produced by the device were highly addictive and many were subjectively described in the Super-O’ category.” 

In this case study, the man had initially pursued treatment for his prostatitis using the Aneros device. While it aided in relieving him of his symptoms, it also seemed to trigger an addiction in this otherwise healthy 63-year-old.

The term “Super-O” refers to super orgasms, the most powerful and intense orgasms that a person can have. They can usually be triggered via prostate stimulation after some practice, and brings the body to new heights of pleasure upon mastery. We’ve heard of sex addiction before, though the existence of this condition seems to be frequently debated in the court of public opinion, there is one thing that you should keep in mind when contemplating whether or not it is a legitimate condition:

When you orgasm, your brain lights up as if it were on heroin.

If that sounds really intense to you, that’s because it is indeed very intense. The addictiveness of the drug heroin is well-documented, researched and confirmed-there is no question about it. Does it not stand to reason that any action, like a powerful orgasm, that triggers a similar reaction could end up in similar results?

The man in this case study went about trying to curb his addiction to Anerosuse, even attempting to “de-wire” his brain. Even after he ceased using the device, his body and mind had changed in surprising ways.

“Our subject found that he could achieve intense orgasms by lying prone wearing a condom without the Aneros present, the condom and pillows (resting beneath the subject’s pelvis) being sufficient stimuli to trigger a reflex orgasm without any direct mechanical stimulation to the penis. The ability to orgasm without the device has persisted for at least 12 months since the last insertion of the Aneros.”

aneros prostate massager

The subject of this cast study found that the prostate-induced Super-Os were so intensely pleasurable that he easily found himself dedicating too much time to the Aneros prostate massager. Additionally, an old neck injury became aggravated during its use. This was due to the spasms caused in his neck by lying prone while using the device. Clearly, addiction to prostate orgasms was very much an issue for this man.

While addiction is never a positive thing, it is worth noting that his mastery of prostate stimulation during his bout of prostatitis shows some interesting results. Not only was he able to achieve hands free orgasm with minimal stimulation of any kind, but the subject found himself able to have as many as ten non-ejaculatory orgasms per sex or masturbation session.

Unfortunately there is a stunning lack of research on this matter, so who knows how common stories like this man’s are?

In Conclusion 

Above we frequently commented on the lack of scientific research behind prostate-induced orgasms. Levin’s review is one of the first to really detail these matters in a more in-depth fashion, and we certainly hope that it won’t be the last. There is much to gain from having a better understanding of one’s anatomy and its multitude of purposes, in terms of both physical health and sexual experience. The more we know, the more we will be able to address these functions and understand them for what they are. And who doesn’t want that?

The internet is rife with information, but some of it is less than informative. Some of it is very vague or poorly-written, but there are some sources (like the Aneros community forum) that have a higher caliber of content to help you better understand what the prostate does, how to safely stimulate it and why you should give it a try.

Prostate-induced orgasms are frequently more intense than orgasms achieved via penile stimulation alone. For many men this is the only way that they can experience “super orgasms,” which are more powerful and pleasurable, as well as more full-bodied, than traditional orgasms. This is also one of the few ways that a man can achieve dry orgasms and multiple orgasms, though it does require a bit of patience and practice to get the method down just right.

We hope that in the future there will be further studies conducted on the prostate, its role in the body and how it relates to the human capacity for sexual pleasure. Perhaps future research will include brain scans and other tests to quantify and better understand what happens in the brain and the rest of the body when orgasm is achieved with prostate stimulation.

Science is FINALLY Studying Prostate Orgasms!

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The Beginner’s Guide to the Prostate Massage

The Beginner's Guide to the Prostate Massage

While we’ve heard countless times how ah-mazing a prostate massage feels, it can be daunting AF to put a cheeky finger up your guy’s butt for the first time. Maybe you’re worried things could get a bit messy, or maybe you’re worried you’ll ‘do it wrong’. But if there is a fun, magical way to make bae feel different kinds of amazing, we’re all about digging deeper (couldn’t resist; I’m sorry). We decided to chat to Shaun, a 26-year-old homosexual from Johannesburg, to find out the where, how and why of a prostate massage.

The Where
Firstly, let’s start with an anatomy lesson. The prostate is a small, walnut-sized organ that helps create semen. Its depth differs from guy to guy. Sometimes, in the case of taller guys, it can be a bit deeper. But generally, I’d say it’s about 6,5cm deep or so, or the first two sections of your index finger.

The Nitty Gritty
You need to make peace with the fact that you’ll be exploring an anus. There is a chance things might get a little messy. However, while the anus is not known to be the cleanest of areas, it’s cleaner than you realise. Consider that the area you’ll be dabbling in is only utilised when there’s a visitor on its way out. So unless he needs to poop right then, it’ll most likely be clean. If you guys have discussed it before (which I’d recommend doing) instead of being spontaneous, it’ll give him time to make sure he’s squeaky clean.

The Non-Negotiable
YOU WILL NEED lube. Start with something like K-Y Jelly. The rectum is an incredibly sensitive area, so try avoiding lubricants packed with too many ingredients that you don’t recognise, as it could cause irritation. Do not go in dry or use spit.

The How
The idea behind a prostate massage is to apply mild pressure by rubbing/massaging it. It’s a super-sensitive area, so you don’t need to go crazy by poking or prodding at it. If your guy is as new to this as you are, start small. Don’t whip out a strap-on or a butt-plug. A finger will do the trick.

While he’s lying on his back, with your palm facing up, slowly start putting your finger (which is clean and has a short and smoothly cut nail!) up his butt. Take your time and make sure there’s enough lube. Once it’s in, curl your finger upwards slightly in a ‘come here’ motion, until you feel his prostate. It feels like a walnut-sized bump, but it’s very smooth and soft to the touch.

The Why
While some men can come from prostate stimulation alone, many can’t. It could be a good idea to include a blow job in your new adventure. When he does come, he’ll experience an orgasm unlike any he’s had before. Be prepared, because he may come a lot harder than you (or he) are used to!

Enough With The Taboos
The mere fact that he’s comfortable enough to experiment with such things with you is amazing: he’s a keeper, honey. Trust me. The more often you two experiment with it, the more comfortable you’ll become and the more satisfaction you’ll both get from the experience.

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Prostate Play 101: A Guide on How to Find Your P-Spot

Prostate play 101: A beginners guide to prostate pleasure

There are a lot of reasons people like anal play. It can feel amazing, it can create feelings of surrender and connection, and for some people, it can tap into the fun of playing with the taboo. And for men, there can be an additional way to make anal play fun. Find out why prostate play is the best way to experience pleasure.

How to Find Your Prostate

The prostate gland, also known as the P-spot, is 3-4 inches (7.5-10cm) from the beginning of the anal canal, and it’s about 1 inch (2.5 cm) across. It’s just behind and above the deepest portion of the penis, and it’s right below the bladder. The urethra (the tube running from the bladder and out the penis) runs right through the center of the prostate. The prostate is on the other side of the rectum (the last portion of the digestive system). During sexual arousal, the prostate starts to fill up with fluid that it releases during ejaculation.

The prostate gland is 3-4 inches from the beginning of the anal canal, and it’s about 1 inch across.

A lot of men say that prostate massage feels like the beginning of an orgasm. That makes sense since it squeezes during ejaculation so that the prostate fluid can mix with and carry sperm out of the body. So imagine the sensation of “the point of no return” lasting for as long as you want, and you’ll have an idea of why guys like anal play.

From a pleasure perspective, the P-spot is a lot like the G-spot in women. It feels better when you’re turned on because it swells like a tiny water balloon. A lot of men say that orgasms that come from prostate stimulation feel bigger, more expansive, or more full-body. That’s how a lot of women describe G-spot orgasms. And while some men enjoy prostate stimulation on its own, others need to include the penis in their pleasure. Similarly, some women love G-spot play without anything else, and other women need to include clitoral stimulation to get the most out of it.

The easiest way to find your prostate is by inserting a finger inside your anus and curling it towards the navel

Anal penetration is the easiest way to find the P-Spot. Simply insert a finger (with the right lubricant) and curl your fingertip towards the navel. It’s much easier to have a partner help with this, or use a toy like the Trio plug. If your arm and hand are flexible, you’ll have more luck.

The prostate should feel like a ripe plum: firm, with a little give to it. If you can’t find it, that might be because there isn’t enough for it to start to swell. Try adding some familiar pleasure like oral sex or some erotic massage first.

On the receiver’s side, some guys get fireworks as soon as their prostates get touched. Other guys report that it feels like they need to urinate. That means that you’re on the right spot, but using too much pressure. Back off a bit and try more gently. If it feels to you like you’ve found it, but he can’t feel anything, that’s also a common experience. It might take a few tries before he can tune into the sensations.

Some men say that prostate pleasure is the entire reason they do any kind of anal play. Others enjoy anal penetration, whether there’s prostate stimulation or not. And plenty of guys say they like the combination. The trick is that if there’s massage or a vibrator without any in and out motion, that’ll focus the sensation on the prostate. Adding an in and out motion or using a toy that stimulates the anal canal will add anal fun. The Rimming Plug 2 and the Trio Plug are perfect for prostate play because you can include anal stimulation or not, depending on the toy’s setting. That gives you a lot of ways to explore and experiment.

Vibrating anal plugs like the b-Vibe rimming plug and trio plug are a great way to experience intense prostate orgasms

The orgasms that come from prostate play can be amazing, but don’t get too goal-oriented about it. It can take a little practice to get everything coordinated. And when you do, you’ll probably discover that it was worth the effort.

Note: Transgender women also have prostate glands, but depending on what medical choices they make regarding surgery and/or hormones, prostate sensations might change. So although much of this information will apply, if you or your partner is a transgender woman, you may need to do a little experimentation to see what works for you.

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For the ULTIMATE male orgasm, try prostate milking! [NEW 2019]

Lots of guys get squirmy when the topic of prostate play comes up. I totally understand. Once upon a time, I felt that way too.

Then, one fine day, something happened that changed everything. A day that will live in infamy. I experienced the orgasm of all orgasms. A series of moments so intense, it redefined the meaning of getting off.

What happened?I learned to harness the power of prostate milking. For me, it paved the way to a level of sexual pleasure that I never thought was possible.

In this post you’re going to learn the methods and techniques I’ve been practicing and perfecting for many years. With them I’ve learned to summon powerful, mind blowing orgasms at will. Literally.

The goal here is to help my fellow dudes enjoy the same pleasures I’ve had the good fortune to learn. Now you can be a master masturbator too…

More intense prostate orgasms

Common questions and answers:

  1. What is prostate milking/massage?
  2. How to do it: internal prostate play
  3. How to do it: external prostate play
  4. How does it feel?
  5. How do I find the right spot?
  6. Will I get an erection?
  7. Will I have a prostate orgasm?
  8. Will I really be able to have multiple orgasms?
  9. Should it make me cum?
  10. How do I play safe?
  11. Is anal douching necessary?
  12. Will I need to use lube?

1. What is prostate milking?


I use the terms massage and milking interchangeably. For the purposes of this post, they are one and the same. I also use the term P-Spot, which is just another name for the prostate.Let’s define prostate massage. It’s a relatively simple process that involves applying light to moderate pressure to the prostate gland. This gland is most easily reached through the rectum. It’s about 2 knuckles deep and rests on the anterior side, toward the front of the body.

The goal is to find just the right spot and slowly massage it. And that is the tricky part. Every guy is a bit different, so things like location and pressure mean different things to different guys. It takes practice and perseverance to get maximum pleasure.

Now, proceed to chapter 2 and learn how to do it…

2. How to do it: Internal prostate play

This method of prostate play involves inserting a finger or specialized toy into your butt. If you’re uneasy about putting things in there, feel free to jump ahead to the next section which covers the external method. BUT DON’T DO THAT!Internal is the ONLY way to get the FULL experience. Simply because of the fact that it feels the best! The sensations are more focused and intense (in a good way). They also last longer.With practice, you can experience multiple orgasms. Yes, you read that correctly. Men can have multiples too! Need I say more?

Before we get started with this section, here are 4 important things to consider.

  • ALWAYS Start small and work your way up. Your index finger is perfect for the first couple of times.
  • Once you get the hang of it, there is no substitute for a prostate toy to get the job done right.
  • Always use plenty of lube. Don’t skimp on this either. Spend a few extra $$ and make the entire experience easier and safer.
  • Don’t touch your penis! This is the last thing you want to do during a prostate massage. You risk blowing your load and taking attention away from the task at hand.

INSTRUCTIONS. 4 easy steps

Here they are. The keys to Dave’s holy grail.

In the next few minutes, you’ll learn how I do this. Step by step.

This guide assumes you’re flying solo. If you have a partner to help, that’s awesome! These instructions apply equally to both scenarios.

Mr. Racy's art of prostate milking

Step 1. First and foremost, make sure you allow plenty of time.

I can’t stress this enough: prostate play is not a quick process.I like to have AT LEAST an hour of solitude for this. Two is even better. The best time for me is when I’m home alone.

This way I know there won’t be any interruptions. No girlfriend walking into my bedroom. No kids screaming outside the door.

My phone and TV get turned off. The lights are turned low. I want this time all to myself. No outside interruptions. I want to focus solely on ME and only me. This is critical for a successful session.

Maybe all this seems like overkill, but it really isn’t. If you can’t devote this amount of time and dedication, just wait until you can. It’s worth it. This is totally different than regular masturbation. Heck, I only need 5 or 10 minutes for that. The lights and TV can be on. I can pretty much do that whenever.

A good p-spot massage session is an entirely different matter. It’s more challenging, but well worth it.

Step 2. Clear the mind and relax the body

Now that you’ve set aside some time for yourself, it’s time to relax your body and mind.

Personally, I like to start with a bowel movement an hour or longer before I get started. There’s nothing more relaxing than having a nice purge.

Then I like to take a long hot shower. As hot as I can stand it. I spend plenty of time washing my entire body from head to toe, especially the area around my bum. I also advise doing some deep cleaning in the rectum. This involves using a washcloth and a finger. Push the cloth in your butt hole just a little bit to clear out any poo that might hiding near the surface.

Next, I crawl into bed. I like to have some soft soothing music playing. Music soothes my soul and prepares me for the journey I’m about to embark on. This is a great time for meditation. I like to practice breathing exercises, inhaling deeply, exhaling slowly. I may do this for 5 to 10 minutes, or until I feel I’ve calmed down.Not being in a calm state will kill the mood. Every. Single. Time. This is why meditation, soothing music, a bowel movement and a hot shower are so important to me before I even get started.

At this point, it’s wise to have everything prepared and ready to go.  This includes towels, lube, glass of water, remote controls, etc. Have your pillows all arranged in the right places. The temperature in the room should be just right. Not too hot and not too cold. A like to have a fan blowing over me as well.

You’re going to be at this for an hour or more, and the last thing you want to do is have to get up and spoil the mood.

Step 3. Get into a comfortable position

There are two positions I like to use.

Here’s my favorite:  I simply lay in bed, on my side.  Whichever side I’m laying on, I pull the knee of my upper leg (the one on top) up toward my chest.  This makes it easy to insert the toy, finger or whatever into my rectum.

My second favorite is also quite simple.  I simply lie flat on my back and pull my feet toward my butt. With my knees raised and spread apart, it provides access the rectum. I don’t like this one quite as much because I find that it’s a bit harder to reach around down there.

There are other positions you can utilize, but I recommend one of these to get started.

Step 4. Start the massage

Assuming you’ve followed steps 1 – 3 above, it’s time to get started. The following technique is what works best for me. There are other ways to do it, but this is my personal favorite.

Start by applying a generous amount of lube to both the toy and your butt hole.

Then gently nudge the stimulator into your rectum. It should be anatomically designed to hit all the right spots.

The toy will probably feel uncomfortable at first, and it may be hard to get in. This is where it’s important to relax, wait for a second, and then try again. Generally, prostate toys have a larger business end that tapers down, so once it’s in, it feels more comfortable.

It might even hurt a little prior to getting it all the way inserted. This is normal. But if the pain is too much, you should stop and try again another time. If you’re having difficulty, starting out with a finger to loosen up your hole is advisable.

** If you’re using a finger and aren’t sure where your prostate is located, check out section 5 below, How to Find your Prostate. Follow the directions there for the massageI like to use the contract and release method. This involves flexing and releasing your pelvic floor muscles, also known as the PC (pubococcygeal) muscles. Think of it as lifting your groin muscles. These are the same muscles you use to start and stop the flow of urine. In fact, you can practice this lift and release the next time you go to the bathroom. Make note of this sensation and use it during your next massage session.

Keep doing the lift and release for as long as you can. I suggest holding the lift for a few seconds, and then slowly release. Simply keep repeating this process over and over. Try to time your muscle contraction and simultaneously take a deep breath. Then release the contraction and exhale.Here’s what’s happening when you do this exercise: the rectal wall muscles are slightly drawing the toy in and out, causing it to bump against the prostate. The harder you contract, the harder it bumps. This is what creates the good feelings, leading to climax.

The longer you do this, the closer it will bring you to the ultimate goal, prostate orgasm. If you’re a beginner, it will be difficult to keep going, as those muscles aren’t trained for this activity. You can improve this over time by practicing.

It’s just like hitting the gym for the first time. You’ll be very weak and unable to do lots of reps, but with time, the muscles get stronger and have more endurance.

Infographic: the 5 stages of prostate orgasm

If you’re going to try prostate massage, it’s critical that you know what to expect, and when it will happen. The following infographic walks you through the five basic stages from initial stimulation to the orgasmic finale. Use this as you’re practicing this step (step 4).

See the hi res version here.

Toy recommendation

I’m going to make a prostate toy recommendation here, as I feel this is the most efficient and effective way to enjoy this experience. It’s called the Aneros Helix Syn (see my full review here, or click the banner below).

Obviously, you don’t have to use a toy. You can use your fingers, or any other SAFE item to do this. I’m simply recommending based on my own personal experience. This is the one I first started using and the reason I’ve become a Pro Prostate Player.

BONUS: kick it up a notch by doing this…

Remember how I told you NOT to touch your penis a bit ago? Well, now is the time to do just that.Only do this once you’ve had your fill of the prostate massage and achieved your goal. You can now proceed with your normal penile masturbation routine and really finish yourself off.

Personally, these are the fastest orgasms I can ever hope to achieve. After an hour or more or prostate orgasms, the traditional ejaculation is literally only a few minutes away.

It’s BIG. It’s intense. It’s very satisfying. Be sure to have a towel ready for cleanup. YOU. WILL. NEED. IT.

These ejaculations are at least twice as big as a normal one. Shooting big ropes of cum isn’t out of the ordinary.

3. How to do it: external prostate play

This is a very indirect method of prostate play, which in my professional opinion is not all that effective. There’s too much skin and tissue between the outside of the body and the prostate gland to stimulate it properly.It’s also much more difficult to reach orgasm this way. However, I did this in my early days before I was comfortable using internal devices. It’s a good way to get started.

If putting fingers or toys into your rectum isn’t your cup of tea, this is the method that will be best for you. No anal penetration is required. In a nutshell, the prostate is activated from the outside by applying pressure to the perineum.

Diagram of male perineum. Rub here for external prostate stimulation.

This area is sometimes called the “taint.”  It’s an area of skin that has a ridge and feels like two pieces of skin have been glued together. The prostate is located directly above this area.

Here’s how to do it

The best way to do it is by using the 3 finger method. Your index, middle and ring fingers will be used for this exercise.

The first two steps are identical to the internal method.

  1. Lay down on a flat, comfortable surface. A bed is the best location.
  2. Relax and put yourself in zen mode.  Meditate, listen to erotic audio, read erotic stories, etc.  Whatever it takes to be calm and able to focus exclusively on the task at hand.
  3. While laying on your back, with your knees up and feet on the bed,using the 3 finger method, place all three fingers on your perineum. Apply firm, but gentle pressure.
  4. Start to massage the area in a clockwise motion. Do this 5 or 6 times and then switch to a counterclockwise motion. You may have to move around a bit until you find the spot that feels most pleasurable. Also experiment with different levels of pressure until you find what feels best.
  5. Continue to perform these repetitions for as long as you feel comfortable.

As I mentioned earlier, achieving orgasm is extremely difficult this way. I’ve tried it many times over the years with not much success. However, it does feel very good, which makes it a great way to warm up for an internal massage.

4. How prostate massage feels

You might be asking yourself: “So what’s awesome about it, Dave? How does it feel?”

Well, I received an email from a reader recently who answers this question better than I could have. This is what Klaus from Denmark had to say. If this doesn’t get you fired up to try it out, I don’t know what will.

Dear Dave:

I am a man, 67 years old, single (divorced), and I just want to thank you for your site/post since it just made it for me. I have never been into anal sex, but about two months ago I stumbled into it googling for remedies for an enlarged prostate. What I found was that prostate massage might be the answer to my benignly enlarged prostate.

Today I stumbled into your site and read that with prostate sexuality you have to have patience, awareness, really good time etc. (your post: It takes time . . . )

So I followed your instructions and it became quite nice, – I could hit all the right spots etc. Nice, but no orgasm. After a good deal of time I just couldn’t stand it any longer so I left it there and cleaned up. Afterwards I sat down in a chair to read.

And then it hit me! 

For at least half an hour I was in heaven. Just sitting in that chair, my pelvis rotating like hell, I experienced one orgasm after another. Orgasms that seem to include my whole body, (except my penis!). The orgasms were centered in my prostate area but hit right up into my breast, my heart I would say, where I had a “feeling-orgasm”.

The last one hit right up through my throat and towards my brain, I didn’t now that was even possible. I have never experienced anything like it, it just went on and on, and a part of me just wouldn’t believe it – here I was just sitting in a chair without any form of outer stimuli, orgasming over and over again.

After the last orgasm, reaching up towards my head, I started coming down, but I was left utterly and completely chattered for hours. WAUW!!!

So again, thank you for your very instructive and not-comdemning site. As I said, it really made it for me. THANK YOU!

Thanks, Klaus! You hit the nail on the head.

Read a few more of my thoughts on this topic, below…

Why should you try it?

The bigger question is “Why SHOULDN’T you try it?”

Seriously though, learning how to do this changed my sex life. For the better. The tried and true method of getting a hard on and then stroking until orgasm was fun, but got really old. I’ve found that p-spot milking adds just enough variety to keep things interesting and allows me to have a full on “sexual release” from time to time.

It’s good for me both spiritually and physically.

Spiritually, a good massage is soothing to my soul. The resulting orgasm provides a fantastic emotional sense of well being. A sensation of calm and relaxation almost always follows. As a single guy who doesn’t always have a woman around for sexy time, this is a great way to fill the void.

Physically it feels good because orgasms are, well…AWESOME! Orgasms that come from prostate massage are even more intense. There are tons of scientifically proven benefits of getting off. From increased energy to lower chances of depression, this activity is a great way to “take the edge off” and make life more satisfying and fulfilling.

You’re NEVER too old or too young!

This activity can be enjoyed by ANYONE with a prostate, whether you’re 18 or 85! In fact, as males age, it often becomes difficult for them to get and maintain erections. Prostate play is a wonderful activity because an erection is not required. All one needs to do is rub the right spot!

Solo play is fun. Partner play is even better!

I really enjoy doing a prostate massage on myself. Enjoying it with a trusted partner is 10 times better. It’s one of those sexual experiences that couples can do together that strengthens their bond and provides for mutual sexual satisfaction. Not to mention a trusted partner can often hit those hard to reach spots better than I can by myself.Communication is CRITICAL when playing with someone else. Make sure to lay out the ground rules beforehand and communicate your feelings, good and bad, throughout the session. And don’t forget to have a discussion afterwards so they can learn and improve for the next time!

Here’s what makes this activity super hot for me: the act of submission.Having a caring partner (this could be your girlfriend or boyfriend) as part of the experience makes it so much more gratifying. By laying back and letting that person take control, I am literally submitting to them and allowing them to have power over my body. This makes it a most excellent activity for the Sub or the Dom that wants to spice things up a bit.

Being submissive was difficult for me at first, but once I allowed myself to transfer control, it put me on the road to orgasmic liberation. By turning myself over to someone else, I actually became MORE in tune with my body and what it likes.

5. How to find my prostate?

This is often the difficult part for the beginner, but with a bit of practice it’s easy to find.

Here’s a step by step guide to help you locate it with a finger:

Step 1

Use the restroom, or more precisely, have a bowel movement. This is to ensure that your rectum is clean and ready for action.

Step 2

After that, I always recommend taking a bath or shower. Washing your butt hole with a cloth will do, but a full on hot shower or bath helps with the relaxation process, making the rest of the session much easier.

Step 3

Make sure that the hands are soft and that fingernails are trimmed. File those nails to ensure no sharp edges or snags! Scratching your rectum is the last thing you want to do, for obvious reasons.

Step 4

Lay down on a flat, comfortable surface. Preferably a bed. I like to lay on my back with my knees bent and feet pulled back toward my butt. Placing a pillow under my bottom helps with the angle.

Step 5

Lube up. Trying to put a finger or toy in a dry hole just isn’t pleasurable or fun. Trust me on this and pick up a good lube. Read about those here.

Step 6

Put your hand between your legs and GENTLY stick your index finger into your rectum and curve it up toward the penis. Stop when you get to the 2nd or 3rd knuckle.

Step 7

Now, feel around a bit. Go a little deeper or a bit shallower until you feel your prostate. You’ll feel a different sensation. Perhaps not pleasurable at this point, but it will feel “interesting.” Remember this spot for later.

Congratulations! You’ve started your first massage! Start massaging that spot slowly if it feels good.

Locate my prostate. Source:

Locate your prostate. Find your male G spot. source:

Here’s a great instructional video

Honestly, this is a weird demonstration on how to find your prostate. But once you watch it, it will make perfect sense.


“Warming up” is a good way to get ready, especially for the beginner. Here’s what I mean: massage around the anus and perineum to get the blood flowing and get in the mood. Don’t stick anything in there yet. This is good to do while laying on your back, before you start.

The prostate can’t be touched directly, because it is behind your rectal wall. When you perform the massage, you will be pushing on the rectal wall, transmitting this pressure to the prostate gland.

Don’t just jam your finger or toy in there! Be gentle. Start slow. Your sphincter will probably be very tight upon initial insertion so you don’t want to rush it and cause any pain or discomfort.

If you’re having a hard time finding the spot, you might consider asking someone to help you.

If you’re into it, ask another dude to give you a hand (pun intended). Who better to find your prostate than another guy that has one as well? Check out this reader submission from a guy who did just that. Did I mention he is straight?

6. Will I get an erection?

Maybe. But maybe not. Every guy is different. Personally, I get a raging hard boner every time I have a session. But I’ve had some guys tell me they don’t get erect at all. Remember that nothing is abnormal here. Prostate pleasure has nothing to do with having an erect penis.

BONUS: Are you a guy who suffers from erectile dysfunction or have had prostate cancer? (Also, check out these recommended supplements for BPH)

7. Will I have a prostate orgasm?

If you do everything right, YES you will! But I’m going to be honest with you: it’s not an easy feat to achieve. It took me many months and lots of practice to master the art of prostate play and reach prostate nirvana. I believe that every guy is capable of this, but some have to work harder and be more dedicated than others. Just a fact of life.Let’s define prostate orgasm: It’s very similar to a normal orgasm that you would experience via sexual intercourse or traditional penile masturbation. But it’s a much more intense feeling. It’s the grand finale that every prostate player tries to achieve. The icing on the cake!

Again, this orgasm is elusive. Patience is key.

Prostate vs. Traditional orgasm

The best way I can describe the difference is with this food analogy:

I’m a dude who loves meat. Yeah, I like my fruits and vegetables, but meat is where it’s at.

Sometimes a big fat juicy hamburger is what I crave. Load it up with cheese, bacon and Mayo and I’m a happy guy. Mmmmm, yum.  Think of this as traditional orgasm.

Other times the only thing that will satisfy me is a juicy steak. Medium rare Filet Mignon is my personal favorite. There is absolutely nothing better than getting a tender slice and savoring every single morsel in my mouth before swallowing it. The filet is prostate orgasm.

Yes, the difference between the two is that significant.The best part? The sensations aren’t focused solely on the genital area.  They can be felt from deep inside the ass all the way up to the abdominal area. And if that isn’t enough, know that these orgasms often come in multiples.  If you keep stimulating, they’ll keep coming. Kind of like the Energizer bunny…you can keep going, and going, and going, and going…

8. Wait, did you say multiple orgasms?

Yes, I did! Multiple orgasms are NOT just for women. With practice and a proper technique, men can experience them too.

Here’s why:

Traditional orgasms result in what’s called a refractory period. Most guys need from a  few minutes to a few hours to recover before having another.

With prostate massage, there is no refractory period. Thus, there doesn’t need to be a delay or cool down period between orgasms.My personal best is five orgasms, one after the other, about 20 seconds apart.

This is where lots of guys get impatient. I’ve received tons of mails and messages asking what it takes to make multiples happen. Sometimes it’s a matter of luck. Sometimes it’s the circumstance or the person you’re with. Sometimes there is no explanation. I’ve found it’s best to not think about it and just enjoy the moment. Worrying about things that may or may not happen just kill the mood and make having multiples nearly impossible.

9. Should it make me cum?

This is another question that I get asked alot. And to be perfectly honest, the answer is NO. Not only from prostate play. It’s weird, but a guy can have orgasms without ejaculating. However, when combined with traditional masturbation, I shoot loads so big I’m scared I’ll get dehydrated!

10. Play safe and clean

This is one of those sexual activities where safety and cleanliness are important. Since we’re messing around with a sensitive area of our body (the rectum) it’s wise to make sure we are gentle and practice good hygiene down there. Prostate play isn’t dangerous, but being too rough with fingers and toys can cause pain. And in extreme cases, tearing inside the rectum. This should be avoided at all costs.

Here are four rules to follow that will make sure you play safe and sound.

  1. Only put things in your rectum that are designed for this purpose.  Yes, your finger is safe. Do NOT use things like broom handles or toothbrushes!
  2. Keep your sex toys in tip top condition by following the manufacturers recommendations. They will both last longer and remain safe many uses.
  3. Use plenty of lube. If you can afford it, pay a little more money and get a higher quality product.
  4. Don’t do this activity too often. At least until you get used to it. Allow at least a couple of days between sessions. Once you are more experienced and know what your body can handle, then you can play more often.

Before you decide to play with a partner…

Reduce the risk of getting hurt. Practice on yourself first and get comfortable with your body. This will help you communicate better with your partner. An inexperienced partner could push too hard or go too fast, making the experience uncomfortable or even painful. You might want to establish some safe words as well.

11. Do I need to douche?

First, let’s define douching: It’s a simple matter of utilizing water pressure to cleanse your rectum. As I always say, “when in doubt, douche it out!”

Lots of guys (and gals) are nervous about playing around the rectal area. One thing of utmost concern is poo leaking out onto a finger or toy. Let’s face it, when sticking things in our butts, there’s a good chance this will happen. But stay calm. It’s not a big deal. It definitely comes with the territory.

Personally, I don’t douche all that much. I’m fairly clean down there.

How do I do it?

It’s much easier than you might think. The only tool you need is an enema bulb or rectal syringe. They’re readily available online (search for “rectal bulb syringe”) and at your local corner drug store. They’re very inexpensive as well, usually less than $10.

Here’s what they look like:

rectal bulb syringe

From: wikimedia commons

Watch the video below for a quick primer on how to do it.

12. Will I need to use anal lube?

The short answer is…ABSOLUTELY!

This activity cannot be enjoyed without using a quality lubricant, both for your rectum and the toy or finger you’re sticking into it. Check out my mega guide on lubes, here.Water based lubes your best bet because they are compatible with all toys and are inexpensive.


Now you know how to take masturbation and your sex life to the next level! With these tips and tricks you’re now prepared to take the next step on your journey to prostate nirvana.

Remember: using your fingers is a great way to get started on this journey. When you’re ready to move to the next level, there are lots of special made toys out there to make the job easier and more exciting.Make sure you check out my 5 favorite butt stimulatorsright here. Out of my entire sex toy box, these are the ones I keep coming back to.

Remember: practice makes perfect. In order to hit the home run (prostate nirvana) it’s gonna take practice, practice and more practice. But like all good things in life, the best things come to those that persist and make their desires come true.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to drop me a line on my contact page or submit a comment below.

Happy massaging!

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During intercourse, as a man nears orgasm, his pelvic thrusts become less voluntary and more automatic, and the muscles of the penis begin to contract rhythmically in order to eject semen from the urethra.

When an orgasm begins, heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration all increase. The orgasm marks the final stage of the arousal response in men. What most men don’t know is that there are other types of orgasms, which most guys never experience:

Ejaculatory (standard)
This is the general type of orgasm that many men experience every time they have sex. It doesn’t require much effort on your part to achieve it and it results in the ejaculation of your sperm. There is literally no control over pelvic thrusting or when you reach this orgasm unless you work to control it.

Pelvic Orgasm 
Men can actually learn to hold their orgasm and send the energy rushing back into their pelvic region simply by practicing. Self-control is largely an untaught trick in the area of sexual satisfaction, but it really can provide a more intense and pleasurable orgasm if you learn to do it correctly. If you would like to feel a pelvic orgasm you have to relax your mind and control your bodily functions prior to orgasm. Hold back your ejaculation and send it back through your body for a full pelvic orgasm.

Non-Ejaculatory (Retrograde Ejaculation) 
In a condition called retrograde ejaculation, the bladder’s sphincter does not close off properly during ejaculation, so semen spurts backward into the bladder. This condition is usually found in some men who have multiple sclerosis, diabetes, or after some types of prostate surgery. It can also occasionally occur in men who do not have any serious problems. It is not physically harmful, but it does render the man infertile and he may have a different sensation during ejaculation. A retrograde ejaculation is also known as a “dry come” because the man may experience orgasm, but no semen is released from the penis.

Prostate Orgasm (direct stimulation) 
On either side of the prostate are nerves that control erections. These nerves can be stimulated through prostate touching and stroking. This orgasm is conjured by consistently stimulating the prostate gland either with a finger or through a toy. Men can achieve this orgasm only when they are fully relaxed and into the stimulation.

Blended (Prostatic + Ejaculatory)
The whole body orgasm stimulates both nerve pathways that are connected to the pelvic region. Once both the pelvic and the spinal regions are fully engaged you will experience a blended orgasm that fully stimulates your entire body. If you want to feel the most amazing sensation you could ever imagine then this is the orgasm you want to experience. You can engage both sensations by getting both penis and prostate stimulation.

Energy Orgasms (heart, vocal and full-body orgasms)
These types of orgasms are full body orgasms without touching.
 They use your breath and muscle contractions to generate orgasmic energy that flows through your body, resulting in male ejaculation.

Multi-Ejaculatory (non-refractory period) 

Most men usually have a refractory period (time in between each orgasm) to deal with—which lasts 30 minutes or more on average. But yes, men can orgasm again and again without having to cool down.

Having multiple orgasms during sex and foreplay is 10x harder, but once you can do it, here’s how to have multiple orgasms during sex.

Step One: Ejaculatory Control
Before you can have multiple orgasms, you need to get yourself to a certain level of ejaculatory control.

You should be comfortable masturbating for 10+ minutes with constant stimulation (not having to stop and start a ton of times).

Without that kind of control, you won’t be able to slowly bring yourself up to the point of having a multiple orgasms, and you definitely won’t be able to keep yourself right at that threshold.

If you can’t easily do that, start with the article on how to last longer in bed.

Step Two: Kegel Exercises
Having a multiple orgasm works by getting to the point of orgasm, and then flexing your PC muscle hard enough to block the ejaculate from actually escaping.

But most men have a weak PC muscle, even if they can normally last a long time in bed, so you’ll need to train yours until you have a vice-like grip behind your penis.

The PC muscle (ejaculation muscle for our purposes) is located right behind your balls and before your anus. You’ve felt it when you’re trying to prevent yourself from peeing, or when you start peeing and then try to make yourself stop.

It’s also the muscle that you use to prevent yourself from ejaculating, and that flexes and spasms when you’re orgasming.

So in order to stop yourself from ejaculating, you need to develop a strong PC muscle.

Start by practicing your kegels 2-3 times a day until you can hold for 20+ seconds. That’s when you’re at the point that you can squeeze hard enough to pull yourself back from the edge.

Once you’re there, keep doing kegels for maintenance.

Step Three: Daily Practice
While you’re learning to have multiple orgasms, set aside 20+ minutes each night to masturbate and work on it. I found that if I went more than a couple days without experimenting, I’d be set back considerably.

Once you’ve practiced enough you can go for a few days without it, but until you have it mastered, set that time aside every night.

During the practice, work yourself up to a peak (somewhere around a 9-9.5 out of 10 for how close you are to orgasming) and then bring yourself back down to a 5-7. This is called “edging.”

But there’s one trick: Don’t use porn.

I found that using porn when practicing pulled me out of the experience too much, and I lost awareness of where I was on that 1-10 scale.

By not using it you’re forced to focus on the experience more, and it will give you significantly more awareness of how close you are and when you need to pull yourself back.

Once you’ve mastered edging, you can start to separate the orgasm and ejaculation.

Step Four: Separating Orgasm and Ejaculation
To have non-ejaculatory orgasms, you need to train your body to separate the experience or orgasm and ejaculation.

You’ve likely experienced ejaculation and orgasm at the same time for your entire life, but that’s just a strategic biological move on your body’s part.

Orgasm is not caused by ejaculating, rather it normally happens in sync with and actually slightly before ejaculating. Your body needs to make sure you don’t stop pumping away as you get closer to cumming (since it wants to reproduce), so it gets you closer to orgasming as motivation.

All we have to do is un-train that impulse. That’s where partial orgasm separation comes in.

Partial Orgasm Separation

As you’re masturbating for your daily practice, you’re going to start working on briefly separating the orgasm and ejaculation as you finish.

When you hit the point of no return where you know you’re going to ejaculate, squeeze your PC muscle as hard as you can as if you’re doing a long kegel hold.

You should feel your penis twitch, swell, and the ejaculating will be delayed a second or two… but the orgasm sensation won’t. You’ll feel a couple seconds of orgasm right before you ejaculate, and then you’ll have the regular ejaculation plus orgasm that you’re used to.

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How to Give the Gift of a Prostate Orgasm

We asked experts how best to massage your partner’s prostate for maximum results.

It’s been the year of the butt since at least 2014, by my conservative estimate, and yet we are no closer to actually understanding our own asses. Society is good at visually appreciating butts and writing catchy songs about butts, but still not so great at understanding how we might derive physical pleasure from our own butts—especially when it comes to the prostate.

Stimulating the prostate—whether that’s through massage, sex toys, and/or pegging— is a little like a slow-dancing. You can slow dance by yourself, but it’s probably easier to slow dance with another person. With that in mind, I asked Lewis and sex and relationships advisor Lianne Young to give some tips on how you can give your partner a prostate orgasm. 

What is the prostate?

“The prostate is a gland that sits inside the anus, just below the bladder,” Lewis says. “It’s not that deep in, but it’s a good two to four inches deep. It’s not a ‘little finger’ deep—you have to go a little further than that, but you can reach it easily with your fingers.”

Medically speaking, the prostate produces a fluid that mixes with sperm to create semen. “This is,” Young adds, “the pre-stage of ejaculation. So if you stimulate the prostate gland, it kind of speeds up that process and makes it more pleasurable.” 

Who has a prostate? 

Technically, everyone! If you’ve got a vagina, you will have Skene’s glands (occasionally known as the “female prostate“) that are located near the lower end of your urethra. This group of glands is roughly similar to the prostate, although it doesn’t serve any sperm-related function. For the purposes of this article, however, we’re talking about stimulating the type of prostate that’s buried in you or your partner’s asshole. 

How to give a prostate massage

“Start with fingers,” Young advises, “but also put a glove on.” (FYI: Young recommends using gloves and condoms on all toys and digits for maximum cleanliness—safe sex, people!) Lewis says that if your partner is feeling anxious about cleanliness, you can also use a small prostate toy to begin with. “Prostate toys are crafted specifically for that purpose so they’re very streamlined,” he says. “It minimizes the second party’s issues around dirt or it not being so hygenic.”

Both agree that lube is absolutely necessary. “Lots and lots and lots and lots [of it],” Lewis says. “The best thing to do is to take the lube and put it around the anus and inside the anus.” You and your partner can both do this to loosen them up and relax them, before dousing either a toy or your finger in lube. 

Young also recommends asking your partner to push down onto you, rather than you pushing up. “Whoever is receiving the anal penetration is the one who is in charge,” she explains, adding that being able to control the depth of penetration also helps to relax the person receiving. 

“Don’t get overexcited yourself, it’s not about you—it’s about your partner.”

Once you have your finger inside them, “you actually need to curl the top of your finger—just like when a guy does it to your G-spot,” she says, describing it as a “come here” motion. “You have to play with it, you have to massage it.”

But what level of pressure, massage-wise, are we talking about here? Are we talking about kneading—like you’re working at the world’s tiniest sourdough starter—or cute little flicks and rubs? “You’re close with the first description,” Lewis says. “It requires continual pressure… It’s more of a deeper massage than a caress. A caress wouldn’t do anything. That’s why it’s a prostate massage, as opposed to a tickling or a rubbing. It really does require quite a bit of pressure on the prostate for it to be stimulating.” 

You can team this massage up with touching their penis, or you can solely focus on prostate massage, although Lewis says that a prostate-only orgasm takes longer than you might think. “A penis orgasm can happen quite quickly; the prostate does take time,” he says. “It tends to be a good 15 minutes of stimulation in order to actually get a prostate orgasm.” 

How do I know when I’ve found the prostate? 

If you or a partner has ever located a G-spot, you’ll know that its surface feels different in texture—a little ridged or bumpy—to the rest of the vagina. Not so for the prostate, although it does feel different to the surrounding area. “It feels like a large marble when you touch it,” Lewis says, “as opposed to the rest of the anal canal which is quite smooth.” Thankfully, this also makes it relatively easy to locate. 

“The prostate is connected to the penis, which is why it’s so sensitive,” Young says. “If you feel the base of a penis, if you go up inside to the end of it, you will end up near the prostate.” 

That’s why you can indirectly stimulate the prostate by massaging the perineum, the region between the asshole and the testicles (a.k.a the “taint”), although as one man previously informed Broadly: “It’s significantly more mild from the outside. It’s like if you have a knot in your shoulder and you press that knot. Or if you pop your knuckles. It’s satisfying [but not amazing].” 

Why does prostate massage feel good? 

If you’re not in possession of a prostate, it can be hard to visualize why massaging a marble-sized gland in your asshole might be pleasurable. But the prostate has a ton of nerve endings and largely sits unloved and untouched for most adults’ lives. 

“Unlike the rest of the body, like the gland of your penis which is constantly touched and brushed against and stimulated—either accidentally or on purpose—the prostate doesn’t,” Lewis says. “It is unstimulated with all these nerve endings, so if you do make physical contact, it’s quite raw… and it’s very sensitive to touch and pressure.” 

Raw in a good way, obviously. When Young asks men what a prostate orgasm feels like, the word “ecstacy” has been mentioned. “It’s absolutely meant to be the most magical thing ever,” she says. 

How to assuage first-time nerves

It’s understandable if your partner is a little nervous, especially if the only encounter they’ve had with their prostate is with a GP doing a very unsexy rectal exam. (Unless they’re into doctor and nurse play, in which case—get your white lab coat out.) If they’ve told you that they’d like you to play with their prostate but grow increasingly anxious once the clothes come off, don’t force the issue. “Obviously,” Young says, “you leave it. You can go back to the conversation, you can go back another night.” 

But if their concerns are dirt or hygiene-related, there’s almost certainly nothing to worry about. “You can either douche, which some people do,” Young says, “but I don’t advise douching to everybody because they don’t know how to do it properly. You can wait until your bowels are empty and always clean the outside.” Lewis agrees: “That risk is going to be seriously minimized by having that person go to the toilet in the last few hours, and after that you just gotta wash your hands.” 

And what if you’re the one who’s anxious? “It’s like anything new,” Lewis says, “like before you set up the TV, you read the instructions—it’s the same with prostate massage. Read up on it! If your partner asks you to do a prostate massage and you understand what it is, that knowledge will give you great comfort in knowing you’re doing the right thing.”

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Prostate‐induced orgasms: A concise review illustrated with a highly relevant case study


Current medical literature does not describe precisely the activation and mechanisms of prostate orgasms. This brief review describes what we know about the anatomy and physiology of the prostate and its involvement in reproduction and especially its stimulation for sexual recreation. It is illustrated with a highly relevant case history. Clin. Anat. 31:81–85, 2018. © 2017 Wiley Periodicals, Inc.


Gross Anatomy

Cancer of the prostate is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in Western world males and is the second cause of cancer deaths in men (Siegel et al., 2015). The male human prostate is a musculoglandular organ the size of a walnut; it surrounds the neck of the bladder and urethra and is itself surrounded by a complex of fascial structures. Ayala et al. (1989) studied histologically whole organ sections of 50 prostate glands and concluded that a ‘capsule’ of the prostate does not exist, it being a concentrically placed fibromuscular band surrounding the prostate that is an inseparable component of the prostatic stroma. Raychaudhuri and Cahill (2008) in an extensive literature search about the pelvic fascia that included periprostatic structures confirmed this conclusion. However, Ali et al. (2004) still used the term ‘prostatic capsule’ when describing nerves passing through it into the prostate body. The gland can be divided into three zones, namely—a peripheral zone (75% of the gland, the portion that surrounds the distal urethra), a central zone (5–8% of the gland, the zone that surrounds the ejaculatory ducts), and a transitional zone (20% of the gland that surrounds the proximal urethra) all enclosed by the fibromuscular band.


The complexity of the development of the prostate in humans from the embryonic urogenital sinus has been reviewed by Marker et al. (2003) and Santos and Taboga (2006). This embryonic structure is indistinguishable between male and female embryos until weeks 10–12 of gestation. It then differentiates under the influence of the androgens secreted initially by the fetal testes that maintain its embryonic and neonatal growth through activation of local paracrine factors (Thomson, 2001) finally creating male prostatic glandular activity at puberty (Isaacs, 1994).


The functions of the prostate are its involvement in the reproductive aspects of the male ejaculate (its procreative function) and its involvement in the ecstacy of the orgasm (its recreative function). While there are many studies of its reproductive function(s) there are relatively few that characterize its recreative functioning. Most of the information about this pleasurable function comes from anecdotal sources. There is a website dedicated to its recreative function (see section below on prostate and the internet).

It should be mentioned that there are suggestions that the gland also has a possible endocrine function. Kacker et al. (2014) reviewed the evidence that the gland contributed to the local and systemic concentrations of 5α‐dihydroxytestosterone, a more potent androgen than its precursor testosterone from which it is converted by the prostate expressed isoenzyme 5α‐reductase‐2 (Kang et al., 2014). The concentration of the androgen in the prostate is 5–10 times greater than that of testosterone (Hay and Wass, 2009). The importance of the prostate function for male fertility is exemplified by males who have a deficiency of this isoenzyme (5α‐reductase type 2 deficiency) as they have decreased sperm counts, low semen volume and failure of the semen to liquefy because of a deficiency of the prostate‐specific antigen (a serine protease) that de‐coagulates the gelled ejaculated semen.


The gland is abundantly innervated by the parasympathetic (hypogastric and pelvic nerves) and by the sympathetic (hypogastric ganglion). According to Gupta and McVary (2017) ‘there is widespread agreement that expulsion of the contents of the gland during emission is under adrenergic control while cholinergic nerves are secretomotor’. In regard to the sensory innervation of the prostate, McVary et al. (1998) state that the majority of the afferents to the ventral prostate is localised to sensory nerves from the L5 and L 6 segments of the spinal cord but there is a smaller degree of innervation from T13 to L2.

A collection of nerves that is located in the fascia covering the prostate is named the prostatic plexus. They arise from the lower (inferior) portion of the pelvic plexus and are distributed not only to the prostate but also to the corpora cavernosa of the penis and urethra. Injury or damage to these nerves impacts on the mechanisms of erection and can thus cause erectile dysfunction (see section below on orgasm and radical prostatectomy).

Dense neuropeptide Y innervation is present throughout the prostatic stroma but most studies have not found the neuropeptide to be involved in the contraction of the prostate (White et al., 2013).


The serial order of the male ejaculate is composed of secretions from the glands of Littré (lining the penile urethra), Cowper’s (bulbourethral) gland, testicular, and epididymal fluid containing the spermatozoa, the prostate and finally the seminal vesicles (Levin, 2005a). In this glandular company the prostate manufactures a highly complex secretion which becomes approximately 30% of the fluid volume of the ejaculate. It contains a large variety of constituents many having proposed or unknown function(s). These include citric acid (20–150 mM, function unknown), zinc [590 ± 45 SE µg/mL; Zaichick et al. (1996), possibly antibacterial], the enzyme prostatic specific antigen (PSA) that liquefies the coagulated semen after ejaculation, prostatic acid phosphatase, phosphorylcholine (specific substrate for previous enzyme), aminopeptidase, ATPase, spermine (Pegg, 2014) and spermidine (possible antibacterial activity, enzymatic breakdown gives semen its characteristic odor), prostasomes [small vesicles containing cholesterol, sphingomyelin, calcium, enzymes, and some 139 proteins—(Levin, 2005b)], lipids (Scott, 1945) and phospholipids of which sphingomyelin constitutes about half the latter with phosphatidyl serine and ethanolamine plasmalogen most of the remainder (their functions are unknown). Semen also contains some 60 plus peptides and proteins (Tsai et al., 1984; Fung et al., 2004).

According to Baker and Bellis (1995) the prostate secretion provides the sperm with some protection from the seminal vesicle secretion that has spermicidal properties (Linderholmer, 1973).


The involvement of the prostate in the mechanisms of ejaculation was first promoted by Marberger (1974). He proposed that the distention of the prostatic urethra by the volume of the entering semen was the trigger for the initiation of the ejaculatory reflex and the theory was called ‘the prostatic pressure chamber trigger concept’. This speculative explanation was repeated by a number of authors (Jannini et al., 2002). Levin (2005a) reviewed the evidence for this mechanism and found that there were important experimental studies with results against the concept, namely that there are ‘definite occasions where the ejaculatory mechanisms is activated yet no seminal fluids enter the prostatic urethra’. Giuliano and Clement (2005), in their review of ejaculation, agreed that ‘the expulsion phase of ejaculation can occur in the absence of urethral stimulation and that the prostatic pressure chamber concept does not definitively identify the ejaculation trigger’.


Descriptions of the Male Orgasms

Unlike the female orgasm, where a number of competing descriptions for induced orgasms exist (see Levin, 2015), those for the male are limited (Zilbergeld, 1979; Otto, 1999). Surprisingly, neither Masters and Johnson (1966), Zilbergeld (1979), Margolis (2004), or Bancroft (2009) in their books on human sexual arousal mention those obtained from prostate stimulation in the male while even in the book on orgasm by Komisaruk et al. (2006) has only a single, very short paragraph of but two sentences.

The classic penile‐induced male orgasm description is that of Masters and Johnson (1966) who characterized it into two separate stages. The first stage is initiated by the contractions of the various accessory organs beginning with the vasa efferentia of the testis, then the epididymis following through to the vas deferens with the contractions of the seminal vesicles. The prostatic contractions then occur. This stage is controlled by the thoracolumbar (T11‐L2) neural pathway (Giuliano and Clement, 2005). In this stage the male has a feeling of ‘ejaculatory inevitability’ and the knowledge that ejaculation is coming and cannot be delayed. The second stage is the seminal fluid flowing into the distended urethral bulb and the penile urethra. The perineal musculature (mainly the bulbocavernosus muscle, Levin, 2005) then propels the semen along the penile urethra to be expelled forcibly in spurts from the penile meatus, this is mediated by the sacral (S2‐S4) pathway (Giuliano and Clement, 2005). With each spurt a feeling of intense pleasure is generated which gradually subsides as the spurts decrease. Often nonverbal vocalizations occur with each spurt (Levin, 2006). If the pelvic muscles do not contract the semen emission is one of dribbling, powered by the peristaltic contractions of the urethra alone with little ecstatic pleasure (Newman et al., 1982). Although orgasm normally takes place concomitantly with ejaculation, the two processes are actually independent (Levin, 2003).While the prostate is involved in forming part of the ejaculate (as detailed above) it is also involved in ejaculation per se as its fibromuscular covering containing smooth muscle contracts clonically under its adrenergic innervation propelling the semen from the prostatic urethra into the penile urethra (White et al., 2013).

Published descriptions of the prostate‐induced orgasm in academic and clinical literature have been thin on the ground (Levin, 2004). In an early article by Perry (1988) he described prostatic‐induced orgasms as ‘emission type reflexive orgasms’ with occasional oozing of semen from the penis. Such a description applies to ejaculations that occur when the pelvic striated muscles (especially the bulbocavernous) are nonfunctional (Newman et al., 1982). A paradox to note is that when induced ejaculations are without pelvic contractions they are of poor erotic value as previously described yet intense erotic pleasure appears to be activated by prostate stimulation even when there are no pelvic contractions to create semen ejaculation.


Men can experience changes in their sexual responses after radical prostatectomy, the gold‐standard treatment for localized cancer of the prostate. Early operations caused damage to the nerves that passed along the organ that subserved erection but later nerve sparing operations were designed to preserve this innervation. Koeman et al. (1994), for example, reported that in their series of prostatectomies (n = 20) no patient could maintain a rigid erection but 5 could manage to have coitus with their partial erection. None experienced the sensation of ‘ejaculatory inevitability’. A few (n = 7) complained that their orgasm was weakened and 9 had involuntary loss of urine at orgasm (climacturia). A very extensive, comprehensive, and up‐to‐date review of orgasmic dysfunctions after radical prostatectomy by Capogrosso et al. (2017) report that despite technical surgical advances ‘the achievement of good operative functional outcomes is still considered a troublesome issue both for patients and urologist’. These include impairments in sexual desire, penile morphology and orgasmic function. In relation to the latter the conditions of climacturia, orgasm associated pain and modification of orgasmic sensation are prevalent and even complete anorgasmia occurs. Unfortunately, reliable data from which to estimate these impairment risks are lacking.


An obvious question is—why do prostate orgasms appear more powerful and pleasurable than penile induced ones? Increased body awareness has been linked to increased genital awareness and arousal in women (see Handy and Meston, 2016 for references). It is possible that similar heightened awareness occurs in those males who focus on and practice prostate stimulation. Such awareness could enhance the sexual pleasure obtained as modulation of physiological function can occur through changes in mental processes (Mitani et al., 2006). It is now accepted that the human brain is constantly changing its functional and structural properties depending on the variety of inputs and experiences. This plasticity is thought to be manifest through synaptic reorganization (Kolb et al., 2003) and/or the balance of excitation/inhibition among neurones (Cooke and Bliss, 2006). The brain literature refers to this as ‘the plasticity of the brain’ but in lay parlance a common description is ‘rewiring of the brain’ (Arden, 2010). Those learning to experience prostate‐induced orgasms often use this concept (see ‘prostate orgasms and the internet’ below).


Because there have been no published laboratory‐conducted investigations of the orgasms induced by prostate stimulation alone, information about them has to be gathered from the various websites dedicated to such orgasms. While unsatisfactory in that the vast number are obviously anecdotal they represent the only available source. Unlike the sparsity of academic literature on prostate‐induced orgasms there appears to be an enormous number of internet sites involving such activity. Typing in ‘websites for prostate‐induced orgasms’ in Google produces 383,000 results (August, 2017). Specific products have been developed commercially to enable males to stimulate their prostates per rectum without using hands and these have created a large user community. One of the most popular is that devised by Aneros (http://www. costing $69.95 while there is also a vibrating model (Vice) priced at $139.95. The Aneros Forum ( is the commercially sponsored repository for individual’s posts about their use of the various Aneros devices. Some of these listed posts have received hundreds of views while a few have over half a million. What many of these reports from individual users stress is that to obtain prostate‐induced orgasms needs relaxation, time and practice. Apart from the vibrating model, the device moves slightly associated with normal contraction of the internal and external anal sphincter, which is sufficient to stimulate the prostate and sensitive areas of the rectal wall. The subject can initiate these contractions, but once orgasm starts the device moves spontaneously in response to the orgasmic contractions, stimulating the prostate and increasing the intensity of the orgasm.

Perry (1988) suggested that this area of the rectal wall was similar to the so‐called ‘G‐spot’ of the female in that it activated orgasm when stimulated so it has been called ‘the male G‐spot’, it is anatomically incorrect but a widely used description. Some get erections during its use while others do not. A number report extreme bouts of shaking/shuddering before the induced orgasms occur and when they do they are infinitely more pleasurable than those obtained from penile stimulation. One post included the interesting comment about the curse of the Aneros—‘it’s addictive and it takes a good deal of time—at least 30 min’. The accepted term among the community of users for the very best orgasms induced by the stimulation is ‘Super‐O’s’ which everyone strives to obtain (see ‘Relevant Case Study’ below).


The subject was a 63‐year‐old, medically qualified male in good physical health with a good libido and a normal prostate on digital examination. He experimented initially with an Aneros helix prostate stimulator for prostatic massage to relieve symptoms from an episode of prostatitis. He rapidly became highly orgasmic with the device (without the use of sexual fantasy) after only a few hours of use, spread over several occasions. He also had a course of the PDE‐5 inhibitor tadalafil 2.5 mg daily which is now licensed for lower urinary tract symptoms in men. His prostatitis symptoms resolved within 2 months of regular Aneros use several times weekly combined with tadalafil. However, he found that the intense orgasms produced by the device were highly addictive and many were subjectively in the ‘Super‐O’ category described above. Despite the device being inserted in the anus and lower rectum, he described the orgasms as being felt in the penis, perineum, and pelvis, similar to a normal male orgasm. When becoming really intense in the Super‐O category, he experienced some whole body sensation with some involuntary muscular contracting and shaking. He stopped using the Aneros after about 2 months and attempted to overcome the addiction to the device.

Whilst using the Aneros, he had produced some secretions from the urethra, but he did not normally ejaculate. He had been in the habit of wearing a condom to catch these secretions and any possible ejaculate. He had mainly used the device lying prone with a couple of pillows to support his pelvis with the penis hanging comfortably in between, as he would some of the time become erect or partially erect whilst using the device. The Aneros forum describes a process of rewiring when learning to orgasm with the device and it then becomes possible to experience Aneros‐free orgasms. Our subject found that he could achieve intense orgasms by lying prone wearing a condom without the Aneros present, the condom and the pillows being sufficient stimuli to trigger a reflex orgasm without any direct mechanical stimulation to the penis. The ability to orgasm without the device has persisted for at least 12 months since the last insertion of the Aneros.

This subject found that whilst the orgasms were extremely enjoyable at the time, he could easily spend too much time experiencing them. Further, he had an old neck injury which flared up in association with some neck spasm at orgasm whilst lying prone. It has proved difficult to stop experiencing these orgasms and ‘unwire’ himself back to normal. He attempted this by replacing the passive stimulus with stimulatory masturbation or sexual intercourse, and in the process became multiorgasmic with both sexual scenarios up to 10 orgasms before the final ejaculation). He has managed to stay off non‐stimulatory orgasms for several months at a time, but has had a tendency to relapse.


Despite the fact that so much of the information that is available about prostate‐induced orgasms comes from the anecdotal reports of individuals, there can be little doubt that stimulating the prostate via the rectal wall can create ecstatic feelings that are exceptionally pleasurable, often surpassing those obtained from penile stimulation. However, the exact mechanism(s) by which these are induced is unclear, some propose it is by the nerves passing along the outer surface of the gland (prostatic plexus), others suggest it is via the nervous innervation of the prostate itself while others talk about a ‘re‐wiring’ of the brain needed to appreciate the effects of the organ’s stimulation. What is clear, however, is the reticence of the scientific community to study the phenomenon possibly because it involves the need for rectal insertion and stimulation. Why, for an obvious example, have we still not had any brain imaging of prostate‐stimulated orgasms so that we can compare them with penile orgasms? Who will lead the challenge?


I would like to thank the anonymous subject, Dr. A, for bringing to my attention this grossly under researched area of prostate function.


The author has no conflicts of interest to declare.

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