There are a lot of reasons people like anal play. It can feel amazing, it can create feelings of surrender and connection, and for some people, it can tap into the fun of playing with the taboo. And for men, there can be an additional way to make anal play fun. Find out why prostate play is the best way to experience pleasure.
How to Find Your Prostate
The prostate gland, also known as the P-spot, is 3-4 inches (7.5-10cm) from the beginning of the anal canal, and it’s about 1 inch (2.5 cm) across. It’s just behind and above the deepest portion of the penis, and it’s right below the bladder. The urethra (the tube running from the bladder and out the penis) runs right through the center of the prostate. The prostate is on the other side of the rectum (the last portion of the digestive system). During sexual arousal, the prostate starts to fill up with fluid that it releases during ejaculation.
A lot of men say that prostate massage feels like the beginning of an orgasm. That makes sense since it squeezes during ejaculation so that the prostate fluid can mix with and carry sperm out of the body. So imagine the sensation of “the point of no return” lasting for as long as you want, and you’ll have an idea of why guys like anal play.
From a pleasure perspective, the P-spot is a lot like the G-spot in women. It feels better when you’re turned on because it swells like a tiny water balloon. A lot of men say that orgasms that come from prostate stimulation feel bigger, more expansive, or more full-body. That’s how a lot of women describe G-spot orgasms. And while some men enjoy prostate stimulation on its own, others need to include the penis in their pleasure. Similarly, some women love G-spot play without anything else, and other women need to include clitoral stimulation to get the most out of it.
Anal penetration is the easiest way to find the P-Spot. Simply insert a finger (with the right lubricant) and curl your fingertip towards the navel. It’s much easier to have a partner help with this, or use a toy like the Trio plug. If your arm and hand are flexible, you’ll have more luck.
The prostate should feel like a ripe plum: firm, with a little give to it. If you can’t find it, that might be because there isn’t enough for it to start to swell. Try adding some familiar pleasure like oral sex or some erotic massage first.
On the receiver’s side, some guys get fireworks as soon as their prostates get touched. Other guys report that it feels like they need to urinate. That means that you’re on the right spot, but using too much pressure. Back off a bit and try more gently. If it feels to you like you’ve found it, but he can’t feel anything, that’s also a common experience. It might take a few tries before he can tune into the sensations.
Some men say that prostate pleasure is the entire reason they do any kind of anal play. Others enjoy anal penetration, whether there’s prostate stimulation or not. And plenty of guys say they like the combination. The trick is that if there’s massage or a vibrator without any in and out motion, that’ll focus the sensation on the prostate. Adding an in and out motion or using a toy that stimulates the anal canal will add anal fun. The Rimming Plug 2 and the Trio Plug are perfect for prostate play because you can include anal stimulation or not, depending on the toy’s setting. That gives you a lot of ways to explore and experiment.
The orgasms that come from prostate play can be amazing, but don’t get too goal-oriented about it. It can take a little practice to get everything coordinated. And when you do, you’ll probably discover that it was worth the effort.
Note: Transgender women also have prostate glands, but depending on what medical choices they make regarding surgery and/or hormones, prostate sensations might change. So although much of this information will apply, if you or your partner is a transgender woman, you may need to do a little experimentation to see what works for you.
Lots of guys get squirmy when the topic of prostate play comes up. I totally understand. Once upon a time, I felt that way too.
Then, one fine day, something happened that changed everything. A day that will live in infamy. I experienced the orgasm of all orgasms. A series of moments so intense, it redefined the meaning of getting off.
What happened?I learned to harness the power of prostate milking. For me, it paved the way to a level of sexual pleasure that I never thought was possible.
In this post you’re going to learn the methods and techniques I’ve been practicing and perfecting for many years. With them I’ve learned to summon powerful, mind blowing orgasms at will. Literally.
The goal here is to help my fellow dudes enjoy the same pleasures I’ve had the good fortune to learn. Now you can be a master masturbator too…
Common questions and answers:
What is prostate milking/massage?
How to do it: internal prostate play
How to do it: external prostate play
How does it feel?
How do I find the right spot?
Will I get an erection?
Will I have a prostate orgasm?
Will I really be able to have multiple orgasms?
Should it make me cum?
How do I play safe?
Is anal douching necessary?
Will I need to use lube?
1. What is prostate milking?
I use the terms massage and milking interchangeably. For the purposes of this post, they are one and the same. I also use the term P-Spot, which is just another name for the prostate.Let’s define prostate massage. It’s a relatively simple process that involves applying light to moderate pressure to the prostate gland. This gland is most easily reached through the rectum. It’s about 2 knuckles deep and rests on the anterior side, toward the front of the body.
The goal is to find just the right spot and slowly massage it. And that is the tricky part. Every guy is a bit different, so things like location and pressure mean different things to different guys. It takes practice and perseverance to get maximum pleasure.
Now, proceed to chapter 2 and learn how to do it…
2. How to do it: Internal prostate play
This method of prostate play involves inserting a finger or specialized toy into your butt. If you’re uneasy about putting things in there, feel free to jump ahead to the next section which covers the external method. BUT DON’T DO THAT!Internal is the ONLY way to get the FULL experience. Simply because of the fact that it feels the best! The sensations are more focused and intense (in a good way). They also last longer.With practice, you can experience multiple orgasms. Yes, you read that correctly. Men can have multiples too! Need I say more?
Before we get started with this section, here are 4 important things to consider.
ALWAYS Start small and work your way up. Your index finger is perfect for the first couple of times.
Always use plenty of lube. Don’t skimp on this either. Spend a few extra $$ and make the entire experience easier and safer.
Don’t touch your penis! This is the last thing you want to do during a prostate massage. You risk blowing your load and taking attention away from the task at hand.
INSTRUCTIONS. 4 easy steps
Here they are. The keys to Dave’s holy grail.
In the next few minutes, you’ll learn how I do this. Step by step.
This guide assumes you’re flying solo. If you have a partner to help, that’s awesome! These instructions apply equally to both scenarios.
Step 1. First and foremost, make sure you allow plenty of time.
I can’t stress this enough: prostate play is not a quick process.I like to have AT LEAST an hour of solitude for this. Two is even better. The best time for me is when I’m home alone.
This way I know there won’t be any interruptions. No girlfriend walking into my bedroom. No kids screaming outside the door.
My phone and TV get turned off. The lights are turned low. I want this time all to myself. No outside interruptions. I want to focus solely on ME and only me. This is critical for a successful session.
Maybe all this seems like overkill, but it really isn’t. If you can’t devote this amount of time and dedication, just wait until you can. It’s worth it. This is totally different than regular masturbation. Heck, I only need 5 or 10 minutes for that. The lights and TV can be on. I can pretty much do that whenever.
A good p-spot massage session is an entirely different matter. It’s more challenging, but well worth it.
Step 2. Clear the mind and relax the body
Now that you’ve set aside some time for yourself, it’s time to relax your body and mind.
Personally, I like to start with a bowel movement an hour or longer before I get started. There’s nothing more relaxing than having a nice purge.
Then I like to take a long hot shower. As hot as I can stand it. I spend plenty of time washing my entire body from head to toe, especially the area around my bum. I also advise doing some deep cleaning in the rectum. This involves using a washcloth and a finger. Push the cloth in your butt hole just a little bit to clear out any poo that might hiding near the surface.
Next, I crawl into bed. I like to have some soft soothing music playing. Music soothes my soul and prepares me for the journey I’m about to embark on. This is a great time for meditation. I like to practice breathing exercises, inhaling deeply, exhaling slowly. I may do this for 5 to 10 minutes, or until I feel I’ve calmed down.Not being in a calm state will kill the mood. Every. Single. Time. This is why meditation, soothing music, a bowel movement and a hot shower are so important to me before I even get started.
At this point, it’s wise to have everything prepared and ready to go. This includes towels, lube, glass of water, remote controls, etc. Have your pillows all arranged in the right places. The temperature in the room should be just right. Not too hot and not too cold. A like to have a fan blowing over me as well.
You’re going to be at this for an hour or more, and the last thing you want to do is have to get up and spoil the mood.
Step 3. Get into a comfortable position
There are two positions I like to use.
Here’s my favorite: I simply lay in bed, on my side. Whichever side I’m laying on, I pull the knee of my upper leg (the one on top) up toward my chest. This makes it easy to insert the toy, finger or whatever into my rectum.
My second favorite is also quite simple. I simply lie flat on my back and pull my feet toward my butt. With my knees raised and spread apart, it provides access the rectum. I don’t like this one quite as much because I find that it’s a bit harder to reach around down there.
There are other positions you can utilize, but I recommend one of these to get started.
Step 4. Start the massage
Assuming you’ve followed steps 1 – 3 above, it’s time to get started. The following technique is what works best for me. There are other ways to do it, but this is my personal favorite.
Start by applying a generous amount of lube to both the toy and your butt hole.
Then gently nudge the stimulator into your rectum. It should be anatomically designed to hit all the right spots.
The toy will probably feel uncomfortable at first, and it may be hard to get in. This is where it’s important to relax, wait for a second, and then try again. Generally, prostate toys have a larger business end that tapers down, so once it’s in, it feels more comfortable.
It might even hurt a little prior to getting it all the way inserted. This is normal. But if the pain is too much, you should stop and try again another time. If you’re having difficulty, starting out with a finger to loosen up your hole is advisable.
** If you’re using a finger and aren’t sure where your prostate is located, check out section 5 below, How to Find your Prostate. Follow the directions there for the massageI like to use the contract and release method. This involves flexing and releasing your pelvic floor muscles, also known as the PC (pubococcygeal) muscles. Think of it as lifting your groin muscles. These are the same muscles you use to start and stop the flow of urine. In fact, you can practice this lift and release the next time you go to the bathroom. Make note of this sensation and use it during your next massage session.
Keep doing the lift and release for as long as you can. I suggest holding the lift for a few seconds, and then slowly release. Simply keep repeating this process over and over. Try to time your muscle contraction and simultaneously take a deep breath. Then release the contraction and exhale.Here’s what’s happening when you do this exercise: the rectal wall muscles are slightly drawing the toy in and out, causing it to bump against the prostate. The harder you contract, the harder it bumps. This is what creates the good feelings, leading to climax.
The longer you do this, the closer it will bring you to the ultimate goal, prostate orgasm. If you’re a beginner, it will be difficult to keep going, as those muscles aren’t trained for this activity. You can improve this over time by practicing.
It’s just like hitting the gym for the first time. You’ll be very weak and unable to do lots of reps, but with time, the muscles get stronger and have more endurance.
Infographic: the 5 stages of prostate orgasm
If you’re going to try prostate massage, it’s critical that you know what to expect, and when it will happen. The following infographic walks you through the five basic stages from initial stimulation to the orgasmic finale. Use this as you’re practicing this step (step 4).
I’m going to make a prostate toy recommendation here, as I feel this is the most efficient and effective way to enjoy this experience. It’s called the Aneros Helix Syn (see my full review here, or click the banner below).
Obviously, you don’t have to use a toy. You can use your fingers, or any other SAFE item to do this. I’m simply recommending based on my own personal experience. This is the one I first started using and the reason I’ve become a Pro Prostate Player.
BONUS: kick it up a notch by doing this…
Remember how I told you NOT to touch your penis a bit ago? Well, now is the time to do just that.Only do this once you’ve had your fill of the prostate massage and achieved your goal. You can now proceed with your normal penile masturbation routine and really finish yourself off.
Personally, these are the fastest orgasms I can ever hope to achieve. After an hour or more or prostate orgasms, the traditional ejaculation is literally only a few minutes away.
It’s BIG. It’s intense. It’s very satisfying. Be sure to have a towel ready for cleanup. YOU. WILL. NEED. IT.
These ejaculations are at least twice as big as a normal one. Shooting big ropes of cum isn’t out of the ordinary.
3. How to do it: external prostate play
This is a very indirect method of prostate play, which in my professional opinion is not all that effective. There’s too much skin and tissue between the outside of the body and the prostate gland to stimulate it properly.It’s also much more difficult to reach orgasm this way. However, I did this in my early days before I was comfortable using internal devices. It’s a good way to get started.
If putting fingers or toys into your rectum isn’t your cup of tea, this is the method that will be best for you. No anal penetration is required. In a nutshell, the prostate is activated from the outside by applying pressure to the perineum.
The best way to do it is by using the 3 finger method. Your index, middle and ring fingers will be used for this exercise.
The first two steps are identical to the internal method.
Lay down on a flat, comfortable surface. A bed is the best location.
Relax and put yourself in zen mode. Meditate, listen to erotic audio, read erotic stories, etc. Whatever it takes to be calm and able to focus exclusively on the task at hand.
While laying on your back, with your knees up and feet on the bed,using the 3 finger method, place all three fingers on your perineum. Apply firm, but gentle pressure.
Start to massage the area in a clockwise motion. Do this 5 or 6 times and then switch to a counterclockwise motion. You may have to move around a bit until you find the spot that feels most pleasurable. Also experiment with different levels of pressure until you find what feels best.
Continue to perform these repetitions for as long as you feel comfortable.
As I mentioned earlier, achieving orgasm is extremely difficult this way. I’ve tried it many times over the years with not much success. However, it does feel very good, which makes it a great way to warm up for an internal massage.
4. How prostate massage feels
You might be asking yourself: “So what’s awesome about it, Dave? How does it feel?”
Well, I received an email from a reader recently who answers this question better than I could have. This is what Klaus from Denmark had to say. If this doesn’t get you fired up to try it out, I don’t know what will.
I am a man, 67 years old, single (divorced), and I just want to thank you for your site/post since it just made it for me. I have never been into anal sex, but about two months ago I stumbled into it googling for remedies for an enlarged prostate. What I found was that prostate massage might be the answer to my benignly enlarged prostate.
Today I stumbled into your site and read that with prostate sexuality you have to have patience, awareness, really good time etc. (your post: It takes time . . . )
So I followed your instructions and it became quite nice, – I could hit all the right spots etc. Nice, but no orgasm. After a good deal of time I just couldn’t stand it any longer so I left it there and cleaned up. Afterwards I sat down in a chair to read.
And then it hit me!
For at least half an hour I was in heaven. Just sitting in that chair, my pelvis rotating like hell, I experienced one orgasm after another. Orgasms that seem to include my whole body, (except my penis!). The orgasms were centered in my prostate area but hit right up into my breast, my heart I would say, where I had a “feeling-orgasm”.
The last one hit right up through my throat and towards my brain, I didn’t now that was even possible. I have never experienced anything like it, it just went on and on, and a part of me just wouldn’t believe it – here I was just sitting in a chair without any form of outer stimuli, orgasming over and over again.
After the last orgasm, reaching up towards my head, I started coming down, but I was left utterly and completely chattered for hours. WAUW!!!
So again, thank you for your very instructive and not-comdemning site. As I said, it really made it for me. THANK YOU!
Thanks, Klaus! You hit the nail on the head.
Read a few more of my thoughts on this topic, below…
Why should you try it?
The bigger question is “Why SHOULDN’T you try it?”
Seriously though, learning how to do this changed my sex life. For the better. The tried and true method of getting a hard on and then stroking until orgasm was fun, but got really old. I’ve found that p-spot milking adds just enough variety to keep things interesting and allows me to have a full on “sexual release” from time to time.
It’s good for me both spiritually and physically.
Spiritually, a good massage is soothing to my soul. The resulting orgasm provides a fantastic emotional sense of well being. A sensation of calm and relaxation almost always follows. As a single guy who doesn’t always have a woman around for sexy time, this is a great way to fill the void.
Physically it feels good because orgasms are, well…AWESOME! Orgasms that come from prostate massage are even more intense. There are tons of scientifically proven benefits of getting off. From increased energy to lower chances of depression, this activity is a great way to “take the edge off” and make life more satisfying and fulfilling.
You’re NEVER too old or too young!
This activity can be enjoyed by ANYONE with a prostate, whether you’re 18 or 85! In fact, as males age, it often becomes difficult for them to get and maintain erections. Prostate play is a wonderful activity because an erection is not required. All one needs to do is rub the right spot!
Solo play is fun. Partner play is even better!
I really enjoy doing a prostate massage on myself. Enjoying it with a trusted partner is 10 times better. It’s one of those sexual experiences that couples can do together that strengthens their bond and provides for mutual sexual satisfaction. Not to mention a trusted partner can often hit those hard to reach spots better than I can by myself.Communication is CRITICAL when playing with someone else. Make sure to lay out the ground rules beforehand and communicate your feelings, good and bad, throughout the session. And don’t forget to have a discussion afterwards so they can learn and improve for the next time!
Here’s what makes this activity super hot for me: the act of submission.Having a caring partner (this could be your girlfriend or boyfriend) as part of the experience makes it so much more gratifying. By laying back and letting that person take control, I am literally submitting to them and allowing them to have power over my body. This makes it a most excellent activity for the Sub or the Dom that wants to spice things up a bit.
Being submissive was difficult for me at first, but once I allowed myself to transfer control, it put me on the road to orgasmic liberation. By turning myself over to someone else, I actually became MORE in tune with my body and what it likes.
5. How to find my prostate?
This is often the difficult part for the beginner, but with a bit of practice it’s easy to find.
Here’s a step by step guide to help you locate it with a finger:
Use the restroom, or more precisely, have a bowel movement. This is to ensure that your rectum is clean and ready for action.
After that, I always recommend taking a bath or shower. Washing your butt hole with a cloth will do, but a full on hot shower or bath helps with the relaxation process, making the rest of the session much easier.
Make sure that the hands are soft and that fingernails are trimmed. File those nails to ensure no sharp edges or snags! Scratching your rectum is the last thing you want to do, for obvious reasons.
Lay down on a flat, comfortable surface. Preferably a bed. I like to lay on my back with my knees bent and feet pulled back toward my butt. Placing a pillow under my bottom helps with the angle.
Lube up. Trying to put a finger or toy in a dry hole just isn’t pleasurable or fun. Trust me on this and pick up a good lube. Read about those here.
Put your hand between your legs and GENTLY stick your index finger into your rectum and curve it up toward the penis. Stop when you get to the 2nd or 3rd knuckle.
Now, feel around a bit. Go a little deeper or a bit shallower until you feel your prostate. You’ll feel a different sensation. Perhaps not pleasurable at this point, but it will feel “interesting.” Remember this spot for later.
Congratulations! You’ve started your first massage! Start massaging that spot slowly if it feels good.
Locate your prostate. Find your male G spot. source: cancer.gov
Here’s a great instructional video
Honestly, this is a weird demonstration on how to find your prostate. But once you watch it, it will make perfect sense.
“Warming up” is a good way to get ready, especially for the beginner. Here’s what I mean: massage around the anus and perineum to get the blood flowing and get in the mood. Don’t stick anything in there yet. This is good to do while laying on your back, before you start.
The prostate can’t be touched directly, because it is behind your rectal wall. When you perform the massage, you will be pushing on the rectal wall, transmitting this pressure to the prostate gland.
Don’t just jam your finger or toy in there! Be gentle. Start slow. Your sphincter will probably be very tight upon initial insertion so you don’t want to rush it and cause any pain or discomfort.
If you’re having a hard time finding the spot, you might consider asking someone to help you.
If you’re into it, ask another dude to give you a hand (pun intended). Who better to find your prostate than another guy that has one as well? Check out this reader submission from a guy who did just that. Did I mention he is straight?
6. Will I get an erection?
Maybe. But maybe not. Every guy is different. Personally, I get a raging hard boner every time I have a session. But I’ve had some guys tell me they don’t get erect at all. Remember that nothing is abnormal here. Prostate pleasure has nothing to do with having an erect penis.
If you do everything right, YES you will! But I’m going to be honest with you: it’s not an easy feat to achieve. It took me many months and lots of practice to master the art of prostate play and reach prostate nirvana. I believe that every guy is capable of this, but some have to work harder and be more dedicated than others. Just a fact of life.Let’s define prostate orgasm: It’s very similar to a normal orgasm that you would experience via sexual intercourse or traditional penile masturbation. But it’s a much more intense feeling. It’s the grand finale that every prostate player tries to achieve. The icing on the cake!
Again, this orgasm is elusive. Patience is key.
Prostate vs. Traditional orgasm
The best way I can describe the difference is with this food analogy:
I’m a dude who loves meat. Yeah, I like my fruits and vegetables, but meat is where it’s at.
Sometimes a big fat juicy hamburger is what I crave. Load it up with cheese, bacon and Mayo and I’m a happy guy. Mmmmm, yum. Think of this as traditional orgasm.
Other times the only thing that will satisfy me is a juicy steak. Medium rare Filet Mignon is my personal favorite. There is absolutely nothing better than getting a tender slice and savoring every single morsel in my mouth before swallowing it. The filet is prostate orgasm.
Yes, the difference between the two is that significant.The best part? The sensations aren’t focused solely on the genital area. They can be felt from deep inside the ass all the way up to the abdominal area. And if that isn’t enough, know that these orgasms often come in multiples. If you keep stimulating, they’ll keep coming. Kind of like the Energizer bunny…you can keep going, and going, and going, and going…
8. Wait, did you say multiple orgasms?
Yes, I did! Multiple orgasms are NOT just for women. With practice and a proper technique, men can experience them too.
Traditional orgasms result in what’s called a refractory period. Most guys need from a few minutes to a few hours to recover before having another.
With prostate massage, there is no refractory period. Thus, there doesn’t need to be a delay or cool down period between orgasms.My personal best is five orgasms, one after the other, about 20 seconds apart.
This is where lots of guys get impatient. I’ve received tons of mails and messages asking what it takes to make multiples happen. Sometimes it’s a matter of luck. Sometimes it’s the circumstance or the person you’re with. Sometimes there is no explanation. I’ve found it’s best to not think about it and just enjoy the moment. Worrying about things that may or may not happen just kill the mood and make having multiples nearly impossible.
9. Should it make me cum?
This is another question that I get asked alot. And to be perfectly honest, the answer is NO. Not only from prostate play. It’s weird, but a guy can have orgasms without ejaculating. However, when combined with traditional masturbation, I shoot loads so big I’m scared I’ll get dehydrated!
10. Play safe and clean
This is one of those sexual activities where safety and cleanliness are important. Since we’re messing around with a sensitive area of our body (the rectum) it’s wise to make sure we are gentle and practice good hygiene down there. Prostate play isn’t dangerous, but being too rough with fingers and toys can cause pain. And in extreme cases, tearing inside the rectum. This should be avoided at all costs.
Here are four rules to follow that will make sure you play safe and sound.
Only put things in your rectum that are designed for this purpose. Yes, your finger is safe. Do NOT use things like broom handles or toothbrushes!
Keep your sex toys in tip top condition by following the manufacturers recommendations. They will both last longer and remain safe many uses.
Use plenty of lube. If you can afford it, pay a little more money and get a higher quality product.
Don’t do this activity too often. At least until you get used to it. Allow at least a couple of days between sessions. Once you are more experienced and know what your body can handle, then you can play more often.
Before you decide to play with a partner…
Reduce the risk of getting hurt. Practice on yourself first and get comfortable with your body. This will help you communicate better with your partner. An inexperienced partner could push too hard or go too fast, making the experience uncomfortable or even painful. You might want to establish some safe words as well.
11. Do I need to douche?
First, let’s define douching: It’s a simple matter of utilizing water pressure to cleanse your rectum. As I always say, “when in doubt, douche it out!”
Lots of guys (and gals) are nervous about playing around the rectal area. One thing of utmost concern is poo leaking out onto a finger or toy. Let’s face it, when sticking things in our butts, there’s a good chance this will happen. But stay calm. It’s not a big deal. It definitely comes with the territory.
Personally, I don’t douche all that much. I’m fairly clean down there.
How do I do it?
It’s much easier than you might think. The only tool you need is an enema bulb or rectal syringe. They’re readily available online (search for “rectal bulb syringe”) and at your local corner drug store. They’re very inexpensive as well, usually less than $10.
Watch the video below for a quick primer on how to do it.
12. Will I need to use anal lube?
The short answer is…ABSOLUTELY!
This activity cannot be enjoyed without using a quality lubricant, both for your rectum and the toy or finger you’re sticking into it. Check out my mega guide on lubes, here.Water based lubes your best bet because they are compatible with all toys and are inexpensive.
Now you know how to take masturbation and your sex life to the next level! With these tips and tricks you’re now prepared to take the next step on your journey to prostate nirvana.
Remember: using your fingers is a great way to get started on this journey. When you’re ready to move to the next level, there are lots of special made toys out there to make the job easier and more exciting.Make sure you check out my 5 favorite butt stimulators, right here. Out of my entire sex toy box, these are the ones I keep coming back to.
Remember: practice makes perfect. In order to hit the home run (prostate nirvana) it’s gonna take practice, practice and more practice. But like all good things in life, the best things come to those that persist and make their desires come true.
If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to drop me a line on my contact page or submit a comment below.
During intercourse, as a man nears orgasm, his pelvic thrusts become less voluntary and more automatic, and the muscles of the penis begin to contract rhythmically in order to eject semen from the urethra.
When an orgasm begins, heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration all increase. The orgasm marks the final stage of the arousal response in men. What most men don’t know is that there are other types of orgasms, which most guys never experience:
Ejaculatory (standard) This is the general type of orgasm that many men experience every time they have sex. It doesn’t require much effort on your part to achieve it and it results in the ejaculation of your sperm. There is literally no control over pelvic thrusting or when you reach this orgasm unless you work to control it.
Pelvic Orgasm Men can actually learn to hold their orgasm and send the energy rushing back into their pelvic region simply by practicing. Self-control is largely an untaught trick in the area of sexual satisfaction, but it really can provide a more intense and pleasurable orgasm if you learn to do it correctly. If you would like to feel a pelvic orgasm you have to relax your mind and control your bodily functions prior to orgasm. Hold back your ejaculation and send it back through your body for a full pelvic orgasm.
Non-Ejaculatory (Retrograde Ejaculation) In a condition called retrograde ejaculation, the bladder’s sphincter does not close off properly during ejaculation, so semen spurts backward into the bladder. This condition is usually found in some men who have multiple sclerosis, diabetes, or after some types of prostate surgery. It can also occasionally occur in men who do not have any serious problems. It is not physically harmful, but it does render the man infertile and he may have a different sensation during ejaculation. A retrograde ejaculation is also known as a “dry come” because the man may experience orgasm, but no semen is released from the penis.
Prostate Orgasm (direct stimulation) On either side of the prostate are nerves that control erections. These nerves can be stimulated through prostate touching and stroking. This orgasm is conjured by consistently stimulating the prostate gland either with a finger or through a toy. Men can achieve this orgasm only when they are fully relaxed and into the stimulation.
Blended (Prostatic + Ejaculatory) The whole body orgasm stimulates both nerve pathways that are connected to the pelvic region. Once both the pelvic and the spinal regions are fully engaged you will experience a blended orgasm that fully stimulates your entire body. If you want to feel the most amazing sensation you could ever imagine then this is the orgasm you want to experience. You can engage both sensations by getting both penis and prostate stimulation.
Energy Orgasms (heart, vocal and full-body orgasms) These types of orgasms are full body orgasms without touching. They use your breath and muscle contractions to generate orgasmic energy that flows through your body, resulting in male ejaculation.
Multi-Ejaculatory (non-refractory period)
Most men usually have a refractory period (time in between each orgasm) to deal with—which lasts 30 minutes or more on average. But yes, men can orgasm again and again without having to cool down.
Having multiple orgasms during sex and foreplay is 10x harder, but once you can do it, here’s how to have multiple orgasms during sex.
Step One: Ejaculatory Control Before you can have multiple orgasms, you need to get yourself to a certain level of ejaculatory control.
You should be comfortable masturbating for 10+ minutes with constant stimulation (not having to stop and start a ton of times).
Without that kind of control, you won’t be able to slowly bring yourself up to the point of having a multiple orgasms, and you definitely won’t be able to keep yourself right at that threshold.
If you can’t easily do that, start with the article on how to last longer in bed.
Step Two: Kegel Exercises Having a multiple orgasm works by getting to the point of orgasm, and then flexing your PC muscle hard enough to block the ejaculate from actually escaping.
But most men have a weak PC muscle, even if they can normally last a long time in bed, so you’ll need to train yours until you have a vice-like grip behind your penis.
The PC muscle (ejaculation muscle for our purposes) is located right behind your balls and before your anus. You’ve felt it when you’re trying to prevent yourself from peeing, or when you start peeing and then try to make yourself stop.
It’s also the muscle that you use to prevent yourself from ejaculating, and that flexes and spasms when you’re orgasming.
So in order to stop yourself from ejaculating, you need to develop a strong PC muscle.
Start by practicing your kegels 2-3 times a day until you can hold for 20+ seconds. That’s when you’re at the point that you can squeeze hard enough to pull yourself back from the edge.
Once you’re there, keep doing kegels for maintenance.
Step Three: Daily Practice While you’re learning to have multiple orgasms, set aside 20+ minutes each night to masturbate and work on it. I found that if I went more than a couple days without experimenting, I’d be set back considerably.
Once you’ve practiced enough you can go for a few days without it, but until you have it mastered, set that time aside every night.
During the practice, work yourself up to a peak (somewhere around a 9-9.5 out of 10 for how close you are to orgasming) and then bring yourself back down to a 5-7. This is called “edging.”
But there’s one trick: Don’t use porn.
I found that using porn when practicing pulled me out of the experience too much, and I lost awareness of where I was on that 1-10 scale.
By not using it you’re forced to focus on the experience more, and it will give you significantly more awareness of how close you are and when you need to pull yourself back.
Once you’ve mastered edging, you can start to separate the orgasm and ejaculation.
Step Four: Separating Orgasm and Ejaculation To have non-ejaculatory orgasms, you need to train your body to separate the experience or orgasm and ejaculation.
You’ve likely experienced ejaculation and orgasm at the same time for your entire life, but that’s just a strategic biological move on your body’s part.
Orgasm is not caused by ejaculating, rather it normally happens in sync with and actually slightly before ejaculating. Your body needs to make sure you don’t stop pumping away as you get closer to cumming (since it wants to reproduce), so it gets you closer to orgasming as motivation.
All we have to do is un-train that impulse. That’s where partial orgasm separation comes in.
Partial Orgasm Separation
As you’re masturbating for your daily practice, you’re going to start working on briefly separating the orgasm and ejaculation as you finish.
When you hit the point of no return where you know you’re going to ejaculate, squeeze your PC muscle as hard as you can as if you’re doing a long kegel hold.
You should feel your penis twitch, swell, and the ejaculating will be delayed a second or two… but the orgasm sensation won’t. You’ll feel a couple seconds of orgasm right before you ejaculate, and then you’ll have the regular ejaculation plus orgasm that you’re used to.
Stimulating the prostate—whether that’s through massage, sex toys, and/or pegging— is a little like a slow-dancing. You can slow dance by yourself, but it’s probably easier to slow dance with another person. With that in mind, I asked Lewis and sex and relationships advisor Lianne Young to give some tips on how you can give your partner a prostate orgasm.
What is the prostate?
“The prostate is a gland that sits inside the anus, just below the bladder,” Lewis says. “It’s not that deep in, but it’s a good two to four inches deep. It’s not a ‘little finger’ deep—you have to go a little further than that, but you can reach it easily with your fingers.”
Medically speaking, the prostate produces a fluid that mixes with sperm to create semen. “This is,” Young adds, “the pre-stage of ejaculation. So if you stimulate the prostate gland, it kind of speeds up that process and makes it more pleasurable.”
Who has a prostate?
Technically, everyone! If you’ve got a vagina, you will have Skene’s glands (occasionally known as the “female prostate“) that are located near the lower end of your urethra. This group of glands is roughly similar to the prostate, although it doesn’t serve any sperm-related function. For the purposes of this article, however, we’re talking about stimulating the type of prostate that’s buried in you or your partner’s asshole.
How to give a prostate massage
“Start with fingers,” Young advises, “but also put a glove on.” (FYI: Young recommends using gloves and condoms on all toys and digits for maximum cleanliness—safe sex, people!) Lewis says that if your partner is feeling anxious about cleanliness, you can also use a small prostate toy to begin with. “Prostate toys are crafted specifically for that purpose so they’re very streamlined,” he says. “It minimizes the second party’s issues around dirt or it not being so hygenic.”
Both agree that lube is absolutely necessary. “Lots and lots and lots and lots [of it],” Lewis says. “The best thing to do is to take the lube and put it around the anus and inside the anus.” You and your partner can both do this to loosen them up and relax them, before dousing either a toy or your finger in lube.
Young also recommends asking your partner to push down onto you, rather than you pushing up. “Whoever is receiving the anal penetration is the one who is in charge,” she explains, adding that being able to control the depth of penetration also helps to relax the person receiving.
“Don’t get overexcited yourself, it’s not about you—it’s about your partner.”
Once you have your finger inside them, “you actually need to curl the top of your finger—just like when a guy does it to your G-spot,” she says, describing it as a “come here” motion. “You have to play with it, you have to massage it.”
But what level of pressure, massage-wise, are we talking about here? Are we talking about kneading—like you’re working at the world’s tiniest sourdough starter—or cute little flicks and rubs? “You’re close with the first description,” Lewis says. “It requires continual pressure… It’s more of a deeper massage than a caress. A caress wouldn’t do anything. That’s why it’s a prostate massage, as opposed to a tickling or a rubbing. It really does require quite a bit of pressure on the prostate for it to be stimulating.”
You can team this massage up with touching their penis, or you can solely focus on prostate massage, although Lewis says that a prostate-only orgasm takes longer than you might think. “A penis orgasm can happen quite quickly; the prostate does take time,” he says. “It tends to be a good 15 minutes of stimulation in order to actually get a prostate orgasm.”
How do I know when I’ve found the prostate?
If you or a partner has ever located a G-spot, you’ll know that its surface feels different in texture—a little ridged or bumpy—to the rest of the vagina. Not so for the prostate, although it does feel different to the surrounding area. “It feels like a large marble when you touch it,” Lewis says, “as opposed to the rest of the anal canal which is quite smooth.” Thankfully, this also makes it relatively easy to locate.
“The prostate is connected to the penis, which is why it’s so sensitive,” Young says. “If you feel the base of a penis, if you go up inside to the end of it, you will end up near the prostate.”
That’s why you can indirectly stimulate the prostate by massaging the perineum, the region between the asshole and the testicles (a.k.a the “taint”), although as one man previously informed Broadly: “It’s significantly more mild from the outside. It’s like if you have a knot in your shoulder and you press that knot. Or if you pop your knuckles. It’s satisfying [but not amazing].”
Why does prostate massage feel good?
If you’re not in possession of a prostate, it can be hard to visualize why massaging a marble-sized gland in your asshole might be pleasurable. But the prostate has a ton of nerve endings and largely sits unloved and untouched for most adults’ lives.
“Unlike the rest of the body, like the gland of your penis which is constantly touched and brushed against and stimulated—either accidentally or on purpose—the prostate doesn’t,” Lewis says. “It is unstimulated with all these nerve endings, so if you do make physical contact, it’s quite raw… and it’s very sensitive to touch and pressure.”
Raw in a good way, obviously. When Young asks men what a prostate orgasm feels like, the word “ecstacy” has been mentioned. “It’s absolutely meant to be the most magical thing ever,” she says.
How to assuage first-time nerves
It’s understandable if your partner is a little nervous, especially if the only encounter they’ve had with their prostate is with a GP doing a very unsexy rectal exam. (Unless they’re into doctor and nurse play, in which case—get your white lab coat out.) If they’ve told you that they’d like you to play with their prostate but grow increasingly anxious once the clothes come off, don’t force the issue. “Obviously,” Young says, “you leave it. You can go back to the conversation, you can go back another night.”
But if their concerns are dirt or hygiene-related, there’s almost certainly nothing to worry about. “You can either douche, which some people do,” Young says, “but I don’t advise douching to everybody because they don’t know how to do it properly. You can wait until your bowels are empty and always clean the outside.” Lewis agrees: “That risk is going to be seriously minimized by having that person go to the toilet in the last few hours, and after that you just gotta wash your hands.”
And what if you’re the one who’s anxious? “It’s like anything new,” Lewis says, “like before you set up the TV, you read the instructions—it’s the same with prostate massage. Read up on it! If your partner asks you to do a prostate massage and you understand what it is, that knowledge will give you great comfort in knowing you’re doing the right thing.”
Butts are trendy, but no one talks about the little gland that lives inside them. We asked a bunch of dudes what it feels like to have their prostates massaged, and we learned some other stuff, too.
Everyone is constantly talking about butts these days. Everyone is constantly starting articles about how everyone is constantly talking about butts these days. Both 2014 and 2015 were declared years of the ass. Butts are in, butts are it, butts probably won’t be out for a while.
Why? The little buddy is one of the main things that makes trendy, trendy assplay so compelling. As feminism continues its insidious creep into popular culture, men are expected to understand and appreciate the female anatomy and all the ways they can make it have orgasms. They are learning how big our eggs are, and that is great! However, this means that women will soon be finding ourselves the douchebags in this arena, if we do not do our due diligence. After I thought about it, I realized that my disappointing lack of knowledge about this particular feature of the male anatomy could not be considered fair. What is a prostate, exactly? Where is it? What natural foodstuff can it be compared to, size-wise? A blueberry? A grape? A cherry? A cherry tomato? A clove of garlic? A head of garlic? A walnut? A chestnut? A tangerine? An apricot? A lime? A kiwi? A plum? What is its point, evolutionarily speaking? Why are some men afraid of unlocking its supposedly boundless pleasure? What does it feel like when someone else messes around with it? Is it going to get cancer? Will doing tons of sex stop it from getting cancer? I had no idea! I asked around.
What is it?
From a practical perspective, the prostate is “the kinda hard bump you can feel when you reach your finger inside [an] ass and press against the walls,” according to Ryan*, a 37-year-old writer. From a medical dictionary perspective, it’s a gland, which is an organ that’s primary function is to secrete, and it’s located below the bladder, surrounding the urethra. It’s partially made out of muscular tissue and partially made out of glandular tissue; what it secretes is seminal fluid, which mixes with the spermies to make the stuff that goes in your hair. The muscular aspects are what help the prostate propel the seminal fluid into the urethra, to mix with the spermies, to go into your hair.ADVERTISEMENT
More facts: After puberty, it is the size of a walnut, but it gets larger as its host ages. “If you looked at it, it would look like a little ball with wings, kind of like the famous ball with wings from the Harry Potter movie [the Snitch],” explained sex and relationship coach Charlie Glickman, PhD, who wrote The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure. To touch, he says, it feels like “a ripe plum,” firm yet slightly squishy.
Some people speculate that the intense pleasure of prostate stimulation prove the gland evolved “for” gay sex. However, as previously mentioned, its main function is storing and releasing semen, which is why many men say prostate stimulation is more intense if you apply pressure during ejaculation.
Also, surprise: Women have one, too. This tends to get overshadowed in comparative discussions of anatomy, because people often say the prostate is the “male G-spot.” This is understandable; both result in intense, specific types of orgasms after particular stimulation, and they can both result in more extreme projection of bodily fluid. However, this comparison is also engaged in a fallacy, because women have a collection of glandular tissue and ducts around our own (long-suffering) urethras that is also known as the prostate. Unfortunately, the female prostate is only really significant because it can get infected or develop cancer.
Photo via Wikimedia Commons
What does it feel like?
I made a point of telling many men that I was working on a sassy prostate explainer during the writing of this article. A clear divide quickly emerged in their responses. One group, the straights, got a scared look in their eyes and would ask something to the effect of, “Should I be afraid of getting cancer?” The second group was eager to explain to me what it feels like to have your prostate massaged/stimulated/poked/rubbed. There is no elegant verb for the experience, but there are many literary ways to describe the sensations it produces.ADVERTISEMENT
“It feels like someone put a marble in a stuffed animal, and you love that stuffed animal,” Frank*, a 26-year-old master’s student, told me. “It’s not waves of pleasure—it’s not piercing or sudden. It’s very localized. That’s why I said it’s like a marble.”
Unhelpfully, Ryan explained it the opposite way. “I get a lot of pressure and a lot of pleasure, but in waves that are hard to locate in a specific spot on my body—unlike, say, when someone plays with my penis, where it’s a much more localized sensation,” he said.
“A lot of men who we’ve talked to [in our research] have said that, when they experienced prostate massage for the first time, it felt like the beginning of an orgasm,” Glickman told me. “So imagine the beginning of an orgasm, but lasting for 20 minutes. Pretty fun, huh?”
Pretty fun, indeed—the dudes love it, as long as you aren’t just poking it with your pointy-ass fingers, though some people like that, too. “I once heard someone liken it to the feeling of pooping,” another guy, Sean*, told me. “I suppose that’s kind of true, though I’d say prostate stimulation is better (with the appropriate amount of pressure).”
It feels like someone put a marble in a stuffed animal, and you love that stuffed animal.
“It’s kind of like tickling,” Daniel continued. “You can’t tickle yourself.” Frank agreed. “There are a lot more bottoms in the world than tops, at least for casual sex,” he hypothesized. “Maybe not statistically, but on Grindr. In my travels, every city is like, ‘Well, you’re in Seattle, so there are only bottoms here,’ or ‘OMG, you’re a top? You must be the most popular person in Philly!’ I think it’s because you can’t really do it on your own. You can jack off, but someone else doing your prostate is pretty wild.”
You can also stimulate the prostate indirectly by massaging, with some pressure, the perineum, the body part between the testicles and asshole also known grossly as the “taint.” Many people are aware of this technique as a good thing to do, sex-wise, though fewer are aware that what is being massaged is the prostate.
Still, “it’s significantly more mild from the outside,” Frank said. “It’s like if you have a knot in your shoulder and you press that knot. Or if you pop your knuckles. It’s satisfying [but not amazing].”
One man, who wished to remain anonymous, agreed: Taint massage is “for wusses who won’t take a dick.”
Men have often used the threat of prostate cancer to coerce women into having sex with them, arguing that, according to science, “men who don’t have sex get prostate cancer and die.” This is emphatically not true, though studies have shown that men who ejaculate more often could have a lower risk of developing the disease. Luckily, they don’t need to have sex to do that!ADVERTISEMENT
In all seriousness, though, according to the American Cancer Society, prostate cancer is the second-most common cancer for American men; about one in seven guys will be diagnosed with the disease, and about one in 39 men will die of it. One in 39 sounds like a lot, but the survival rates are very high. Risk factors include family history, being over the age of 65, and living in certain areas. Weird: According to the Prostate Cancer Foundation, men living in rural China have a 2 percent chance of developing prostate cancer, the lowest risk in the world. By comparison, men living in the US have a 17 percent chance of getting the disease, and men who emigrate from Asia to western countries see their risk of developing prostate cancer rise significantly. Men who live above 40 degrees latitude (i.e., north of Philadelphia) have the highest risk in the United States, possibly because of the relative lack of sunlight up here. Sugary drinks and “bad carbs” can increase your risk of prostate cancer (and breast cancer), studies show.
Don’t be afraid
Ultimately, our lack of discussion about the prostate is related to the fact that guys are afraid of going up there. When Glickman was researching his book, “we heard three things over and over again,” he said. “One of them was that it hurts. The second one is that it’s going to get messy. The third one is that men receiving anal play makes them gay.” It doesn’t! And this fear can defeat the purpose of prostate play. “For straight people, if you’re too afraid to go in too far, you would miss the point,” Frank told me. “That is the worst part of learning how to have gay sex—learning to get past the anal sphincter. If you can’t get past the sphincter because you’re too nervous or too tight—that’s hard part.”
Cancer of the prostate is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in Western world males and is the second cause of cancer deaths in men (Siegel et al., 2015). The male human prostate is a musculoglandular organ the size of a walnut; it surrounds the neck of the bladder and urethra and is itself surrounded by a complex of fascial structures. Ayala et al. (1989) studied histologically whole organ sections of 50 prostate glands and concluded that a ‘capsule’ of the prostate does not exist, it being a concentrically placed fibromuscular band surrounding the prostate that is an inseparable component of the prostatic stroma. Raychaudhuri and Cahill (2008) in an extensive literature search about the pelvic fascia that included periprostatic structures confirmed this conclusion. However, Ali et al. (2004) still used the term ‘prostatic capsule’ when describing nerves passing through it into the prostate body. The gland can be divided into three zones, namely—a peripheral zone (75% of the gland, the portion that surrounds the distal urethra), a central zone (5–8% of the gland, the zone that surrounds the ejaculatory ducts), and a transitional zone (20% of the gland that surrounds the proximal urethra) all enclosed by the fibromuscular band.
The complexity of the development of the prostate in humans from the embryonic urogenital sinus has been reviewed by Marker et al. (2003) and Santos and Taboga (2006). This embryonic structure is indistinguishable between male and female embryos until weeks 10–12 of gestation. It then differentiates under the influence of the androgens secreted initially by the fetal testes that maintain its embryonic and neonatal growth through activation of local paracrine factors (Thomson, 2001) finally creating male prostatic glandular activity at puberty (Isaacs, 1994).
The functions of the prostate are its involvement in the reproductive aspects of the male ejaculate (its procreative function) and its involvement in the ecstacy of the orgasm (its recreative function). While there are many studies of its reproductive function(s) there are relatively few that characterize its recreative functioning. Most of the information about this pleasurable function comes from anecdotal sources. There is a website dedicated to its recreative function (see section below on prostate and the internet).
It should be mentioned that there are suggestions that the gland also has a possible endocrine function. Kacker et al. (2014) reviewed the evidence that the gland contributed to the local and systemic concentrations of 5α‐dihydroxytestosterone, a more potent androgen than its precursor testosterone from which it is converted by the prostate expressed isoenzyme 5α‐reductase‐2 (Kang et al., 2014). The concentration of the androgen in the prostate is 5–10 times greater than that of testosterone (Hay and Wass, 2009). The importance of the prostate function for male fertility is exemplified by males who have a deficiency of this isoenzyme (5α‐reductase type 2 deficiency) as they have decreased sperm counts, low semen volume and failure of the semen to liquefy because of a deficiency of the prostate‐specific antigen (a serine protease) that de‐coagulates the gelled ejaculated semen.
NEURAL INNERVATION OF THE PROSTATE
The gland is abundantly innervated by the parasympathetic (hypogastric and pelvic nerves) and by the sympathetic (hypogastric ganglion). According to Gupta and McVary (2017) ‘there is widespread agreement that expulsion of the contents of the gland during emission is under adrenergic control while cholinergic nerves are secretomotor’. In regard to the sensory innervation of the prostate, McVary et al. (1998) state that the majority of the afferents to the ventral prostate is localised to sensory nerves from the L5 and L 6 segments of the spinal cord but there is a smaller degree of innervation from T13 to L2.
A collection of nerves that is located in the fascia covering the prostate is named the prostatic plexus. They arise from the lower (inferior) portion of the pelvic plexus and are distributed not only to the prostate but also to the corpora cavernosa of the penis and urethra. Injury or damage to these nerves impacts on the mechanisms of erection and can thus cause erectile dysfunction (see section below on orgasm and radical prostatectomy).
Dense neuropeptide Y innervation is present throughout the prostatic stroma but most studies have not found the neuropeptide to be involved in the contraction of the prostate (White et al., 2013).
The serial order of the male ejaculate is composed of secretions from the glands of Littré (lining the penile urethra), Cowper’s (bulbourethral) gland, testicular, and epididymal fluid containing the spermatozoa, the prostate and finally the seminal vesicles (Levin, 2005a). In this glandular company the prostate manufactures a highly complex secretion which becomes approximately 30% of the fluid volume of the ejaculate. It contains a large variety of constituents many having proposed or unknown function(s). These include citric acid (20–150 mM, function unknown), zinc [590 ± 45 SE µg/mL; Zaichick et al. (1996), possibly antibacterial], the enzyme prostatic specific antigen (PSA) that liquefies the coagulated semen after ejaculation, prostatic acid phosphatase, phosphorylcholine (specific substrate for previous enzyme), aminopeptidase, ATPase, spermine (Pegg, 2014) and spermidine (possible antibacterial activity, enzymatic breakdown gives semen its characteristic odor), prostasomes [small vesicles containing cholesterol, sphingomyelin, calcium, enzymes, and some 139 proteins—(Levin, 2005b)], lipids (Scott, 1945) and phospholipids of which sphingomyelin constitutes about half the latter with phosphatidyl serine and ethanolamine plasmalogen most of the remainder (their functions are unknown). Semen also contains some 60 plus peptides and proteins (Tsai et al., 1984; Fung et al., 2004).
According to Baker and Bellis (1995) the prostate secretion provides the sperm with some protection from the seminal vesicle secretion that has spermicidal properties (Linderholmer, 1973).
THE PROSTATE AND EJACULATION
The involvement of the prostate in the mechanisms of ejaculation was first promoted by Marberger (1974). He proposed that the distention of the prostatic urethra by the volume of the entering semen was the trigger for the initiation of the ejaculatory reflex and the theory was called ‘the prostatic pressure chamber trigger concept’. This speculative explanation was repeated by a number of authors (Jannini et al., 2002). Levin (2005a) reviewed the evidence for this mechanism and found that there were important experimental studies with results against the concept, namely that there are ‘definite occasions where the ejaculatory mechanisms is activated yet no seminal fluids enter the prostatic urethra’. Giuliano and Clement (2005), in their review of ejaculation, agreed that ‘the expulsion phase of ejaculation can occur in the absence of urethral stimulation and that the prostatic pressure chamber concept does not definitively identify the ejaculation trigger’.
Descriptions of the Male Orgasms
Unlike the female orgasm, where a number of competing descriptions for induced orgasms exist (see Levin, 2015), those for the male are limited (Zilbergeld, 1979; Otto, 1999). Surprisingly, neither Masters and Johnson (1966), Zilbergeld (1979), Margolis (2004), or Bancroft (2009) in their books on human sexual arousal mention those obtained from prostate stimulation in the male while even in the book on orgasm by Komisaruk et al. (2006) has only a single, very short paragraph of but two sentences.
The classic penile‐induced male orgasm description is that of Masters and Johnson (1966) who characterized it into two separate stages. The first stage is initiated by the contractions of the various accessory organs beginning with the vasa efferentia of the testis, then the epididymis following through to the vas deferens with the contractions of the seminal vesicles. The prostatic contractions then occur. This stage is controlled by the thoracolumbar (T11‐L2) neural pathway (Giuliano and Clement, 2005). In this stage the male has a feeling of ‘ejaculatory inevitability’ and the knowledge that ejaculation is coming and cannot be delayed. The second stage is the seminal fluid flowing into the distended urethral bulb and the penile urethra. The perineal musculature (mainly the bulbocavernosus muscle, Levin, 2005) then propels the semen along the penile urethra to be expelled forcibly in spurts from the penile meatus, this is mediated by the sacral (S2‐S4) pathway (Giuliano and Clement, 2005). With each spurt a feeling of intense pleasure is generated which gradually subsides as the spurts decrease. Often nonverbal vocalizations occur with each spurt (Levin, 2006). If the pelvic muscles do not contract the semen emission is one of dribbling, powered by the peristaltic contractions of the urethra alone with little ecstatic pleasure (Newman et al., 1982). Although orgasm normally takes place concomitantly with ejaculation, the two processes are actually independent (Levin, 2003).While the prostate is involved in forming part of the ejaculate (as detailed above) it is also involved in ejaculation per se as its fibromuscular covering containing smooth muscle contracts clonically under its adrenergic innervation propelling the semen from the prostatic urethra into the penile urethra (White et al., 2013).
Published descriptions of the prostate‐induced orgasm in academic and clinical literature have been thin on the ground (Levin, 2004). In an early article by Perry (1988) he described prostatic‐induced orgasms as ‘emission type reflexive orgasms’ with occasional oozing of semen from the penis. Such a description applies to ejaculations that occur when the pelvic striated muscles (especially the bulbocavernous) are nonfunctional (Newman et al., 1982). A paradox to note is that when induced ejaculations are without pelvic contractions they are of poor erotic value as previously described yet intense erotic pleasure appears to be activated by prostate stimulation even when there are no pelvic contractions to create semen ejaculation.
ORGASM AFTER RADICAL PROSTATECTOMY
Men can experience changes in their sexual responses after radical prostatectomy, the gold‐standard treatment for localized cancer of the prostate. Early operations caused damage to the nerves that passed along the organ that subserved erection but later nerve sparing operations were designed to preserve this innervation. Koeman et al. (1994), for example, reported that in their series of prostatectomies (n = 20) no patient could maintain a rigid erection but 5 could manage to have coitus with their partial erection. None experienced the sensation of ‘ejaculatory inevitability’. A few (n = 7) complained that their orgasm was weakened and 9 had involuntary loss of urine at orgasm (climacturia). A very extensive, comprehensive, and up‐to‐date review of orgasmic dysfunctions after radical prostatectomy by Capogrosso et al. (2017) report that despite technical surgical advances ‘the achievement of good operative functional outcomes is still considered a troublesome issue both for patients and urologist’. These include impairments in sexual desire, penile morphology and orgasmic function. In relation to the latter the conditions of climacturia, orgasm associated pain and modification of orgasmic sensation are prevalent and even complete anorgasmia occurs. Unfortunately, reliable data from which to estimate these impairment risks are lacking.
THE ‘BRAIN REWIRING’ CONCEPT
An obvious question is—why do prostate orgasms appear more powerful and pleasurable than penile induced ones? Increased body awareness has been linked to increased genital awareness and arousal in women (see Handy and Meston, 2016 for references). It is possible that similar heightened awareness occurs in those males who focus on and practice prostate stimulation. Such awareness could enhance the sexual pleasure obtained as modulation of physiological function can occur through changes in mental processes (Mitani et al., 2006). It is now accepted that the human brain is constantly changing its functional and structural properties depending on the variety of inputs and experiences. This plasticity is thought to be manifest through synaptic reorganization (Kolb et al., 2003) and/or the balance of excitation/inhibition among neurones (Cooke and Bliss, 2006). The brain literature refers to this as ‘the plasticity of the brain’ but in lay parlance a common description is ‘rewiring of the brain’ (Arden, 2010). Those learning to experience prostate‐induced orgasms often use this concept (see ‘prostate orgasms and the internet’ below).
PROSTATE ORGASMS AND THE INTERNET
Because there have been no published laboratory‐conducted investigations of the orgasms induced by prostate stimulation alone, information about them has to be gathered from the various websites dedicated to such orgasms. While unsatisfactory in that the vast number are obviously anecdotal they represent the only available source. Unlike the sparsity of academic literature on prostate‐induced orgasms there appears to be an enormous number of internet sites involving such activity. Typing in ‘websites for prostate‐induced orgasms’ in Google produces 383,000 results (August, 2017). Specific products have been developed commercially to enable males to stimulate their prostates per rectum without using hands and these have created a large user community. One of the most popular is that devised by Aneros (http://www. Aneros.com) costing $69.95 while there is also a vibrating model (Vice) priced at $139.95. The Aneros Forum (https://www.com/community) is the commercially sponsored repository for individual’s posts about their use of the various Aneros devices. Some of these listed posts have received hundreds of views while a few have over half a million. What many of these reports from individual users stress is that to obtain prostate‐induced orgasms needs relaxation, time and practice. Apart from the vibrating model, the device moves slightly associated with normal contraction of the internal and external anal sphincter, which is sufficient to stimulate the prostate and sensitive areas of the rectal wall. The subject can initiate these contractions, but once orgasm starts the device moves spontaneously in response to the orgasmic contractions, stimulating the prostate and increasing the intensity of the orgasm.
Perry (1988) suggested that this area of the rectal wall was similar to the so‐called ‘G‐spot’ of the female in that it activated orgasm when stimulated so it has been called ‘the male G‐spot’, it is anatomically incorrect but a widely used description. Some get erections during its use while others do not. A number report extreme bouts of shaking/shuddering before the induced orgasms occur and when they do they are infinitely more pleasurable than those obtained from penile stimulation. One post included the interesting comment about the curse of the Aneros—‘it’s addictive and it takes a good deal of time—at least 30 min’. The accepted term among the community of users for the very best orgasms induced by the stimulation is ‘Super‐O’s’ which everyone strives to obtain (see ‘Relevant Case Study’ below).
THE RELEVANT CASE STUDY
The subject was a 63‐year‐old, medically qualified male in good physical health with a good libido and a normal prostate on digital examination. He experimented initially with an Aneros helix prostate stimulator for prostatic massage to relieve symptoms from an episode of prostatitis. He rapidly became highly orgasmic with the device (without the use of sexual fantasy) after only a few hours of use, spread over several occasions. He also had a course of the PDE‐5 inhibitor tadalafil 2.5 mg daily which is now licensed for lower urinary tract symptoms in men. His prostatitis symptoms resolved within 2 months of regular Aneros use several times weekly combined with tadalafil. However, he found that the intense orgasms produced by the device were highly addictive and many were subjectively in the ‘Super‐O’ category described above. Despite the device being inserted in the anus and lower rectum, he described the orgasms as being felt in the penis, perineum, and pelvis, similar to a normal male orgasm. When becoming really intense in the Super‐O category, he experienced some whole body sensation with some involuntary muscular contracting and shaking. He stopped using the Aneros after about 2 months and attempted to overcome the addiction to the device.
Whilst using the Aneros, he had produced some secretions from the urethra, but he did not normally ejaculate. He had been in the habit of wearing a condom to catch these secretions and any possible ejaculate. He had mainly used the device lying prone with a couple of pillows to support his pelvis with the penis hanging comfortably in between, as he would some of the time become erect or partially erect whilst using the device. The Aneros forum describes a process of rewiring when learning to orgasm with the device and it then becomes possible to experience Aneros‐free orgasms. Our subject found that he could achieve intense orgasms by lying prone wearing a condom without the Aneros present, the condom and the pillows being sufficient stimuli to trigger a reflex orgasm without any direct mechanical stimulation to the penis. The ability to orgasm without the device has persisted for at least 12 months since the last insertion of the Aneros.
This subject found that whilst the orgasms were extremely enjoyable at the time, he could easily spend too much time experiencing them. Further, he had an old neck injury which flared up in association with some neck spasm at orgasm whilst lying prone. It has proved difficult to stop experiencing these orgasms and ‘unwire’ himself back to normal. He attempted this by replacing the passive stimulus with stimulatory masturbation or sexual intercourse, and in the process became multiorgasmic with both sexual scenarios up to 10 orgasms before the final ejaculation). He has managed to stay off non‐stimulatory orgasms for several months at a time, but has had a tendency to relapse.
Despite the fact that so much of the information that is available about prostate‐induced orgasms comes from the anecdotal reports of individuals, there can be little doubt that stimulating the prostate via the rectal wall can create ecstatic feelings that are exceptionally pleasurable, often surpassing those obtained from penile stimulation. However, the exact mechanism(s) by which these are induced is unclear, some propose it is by the nerves passing along the outer surface of the gland (prostatic plexus), others suggest it is via the nervous innervation of the prostate itself while others talk about a ‘re‐wiring’ of the brain needed to appreciate the effects of the organ’s stimulation. What is clear, however, is the reticence of the scientific community to study the phenomenon possibly because it involves the need for rectal insertion and stimulation. Why, for an obvious example, have we still not had any brain imaging of prostate‐stimulated orgasms so that we can compare them with penile orgasms? Who will lead the challenge?
I would like to thank the anonymous subject, Dr. A, for bringing to my attention this grossly under researched area of prostate function.
CONFLICT OF INTEREST
The author has no conflicts of interest to declare.